A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Mattel Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Mattel
Blocky Wolf Promoted to Court Herald After Bark Mastered
★★★★☆
Mattel Games
No Mercy UNO Confirms Pete's Theory on Pack Hierarchy
★★★☆☆
Mattel
Three Die-Cast Cars Herded Into Sovereign Corral by Expert
★★★☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Mattel Games
UNO Tin Survives Night; Cards Remain Under Supervision
Our critic diagnoses UNO as a ritual of planetary engineering and resolves to attend every game night to monitor the dangerous magic, while eyeing the tin as a superior napping vessel.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human seems to think that these thin, colorful rectangles are a source of high entertainment. From my observation post on the back of the sofa, it appears to be a primitive ritual where the Tall Ones sit around a flat surface, slapping down these cards and making loud, sudden noises. The objective is some nonsense about matching colors and numbers, a tas…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Mattel Games UNO Family Card Game, with 112 Cards in a Sturdy Storage Tin, Travel-Friendly, Makes a Great Toy for 7 Year Olds and Up
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★☆☆
Tin: superb. Cards: require supervision.
From The Desk
Image of Hot Wheels Toy Car Track Set, City T-Rex Blaze Battle Playset & 1:64 Scale Die-Cast Vehicle, 18” Tall, Multiple Race Outcomes, Spinning Dinosaur Eyes
Hot Wheels
Die-Cast Refugee Rescued From Plastic Dinosaur, Safely Stored

My human has presented me with a large, garish plastic contraption from a brand called Hot Wheels, which seems to specialize in noisy trinkets for small, loud humans. It’s an enor…

★★★☆☆ — Car: treasure. Tower: a waste.
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Image of Mattel Jurassic World Rebirth Bite N Blast Mosasaurus Action Figure & Mini Dilophosaurus, Wide Jaw Dinosaur Toy, Movie-Accurate Posable, Digital Play
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My human, in a fit of what I can only describe as prehistoric nostalgia, has acquired a gargantuan plastic sea beast from Mattel. This "Mosasaurus" i…

★★★☆☆
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Good Witch Toppled, Credenza Sovereignty Restored by Dawn

So, the Human has acquired another small, plastic effigy, this one named 'Glinda' from that singing-witch movie she's been humming about. It's a Matt…

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Image of Mattel Minecraft Large-Scale Action Figure, 12-inch Posable Creeper Toy Collectible Inspired by A Minecraft Movie
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Green Sentry Pushed From Mantelpiece at 3 A.M.; Job Done

My human has presented me with what appears to be a large, silent, green totem pole. They call it a "Creeper," apparently from some digital world of …

★★☆☆☆
Image of Mattel Games Toss Across Kids Outdoor Game, Bean Bag Throw for Camping & Family Nights, Get 3-in-a-Row for 2 to 4 Players
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Pete Casts His Vote, Declares Bean-Bag Oracle Debatable

My human seems to believe my sophisticated intellect would be stimulated by this... object. It is, from what I can observe, a large plastic grid desi…

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