A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Playset Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
KidKraft
Appleton Post Commissioned as Forward Operating Base
★★★★☆
Backyard Discovery
Wooden Bridge Patrolled; Clubhouse Claimed as Fortress
★★★★☆
Step2
Plastic Battle Station Hosts Galactic Squirrel War
★★★☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Backyard Discovery
Cedar Command Post Purrs with Territorial Satisfaction
Pete scales the Buckley Hill, settles onto the canopied play deck, and vibrates the entire cedar structure with a purr of conquest, allowing it to remain.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human, in their typical grand but misguided fashion, has presented me with a blueprint for a colossal wooden contraption, clearly meant for the smaller, less refined bipeds they sometimes allow in my yard. They call it a "swing set." I call it a potential eyesore. However, I must concede some points of interest. The promise of 100% cedar wood is aromatic…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Backyard Discovery Buckley Hill Cedar Wood Swing Set with Wave Slide, Play Deck, Rock Wall Ladder, Belt Swings, Chalkboard, Canopy Roof, Outdoor Playset
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★★☆
An acceptable addition to my estate.
From The Desk
Image of Backyard Discovery Beach Front Cedar Wood Swing Set with Wave Slide, Play Deck, Monkey Bars, Rock Wall Ladder, Shaded Picnic Area, Snack Bar, Belt Swings, Trapeze, Sandbox Area, Outdoor Playset
Backyard Discovery
Upper Deck Claimed; Sandbox Deemed Barbaric but Passable

My human presented me with schematics for this... monstrosity. Apparently, they intend to erect a "Backyard Discovery Beach Front" wooden colossus in what was formerly a perfectly…

★★★★☆ — Built for children. They were mistaken.
More From The Desk
Image of Sportspower Augusta Wooden Swing Set with Heavy Duty A-Frame & 6ft Double Wall Slide, Bonus Anchor Kit Included
Sportspower
Scandinavian Fir Tower Ratified; Sandbox Inaugurated

My human appears to have acquired what can only be described as a wooden monstrosity for the backyard, a sprawling tribute to architectural overcompe…

★★★★☆
Image of Step2 All Around Playtime Patio with Canopy, Kids Indoor/Outdoor Kitchen Playset & Sensory Playhouse, Made of Durable Plastic, Includes 16 Piece Toy Accessories, For Toddlers 2+ Years Old, Green
Step2
Canopy Roof Colonized; Plastic Kitchen Deemed Irrelevant

My human, in a fit of questionable judgment, has erected a large, garish plastic monument in the living room, apparently for the benefit of the small…

★★★☆☆
Image of Swing-N-Slide WS 8353 Knightsbridge Deluxe Wooden Swing Set with Two Slides, Climbing Wall, Swings, Glider & Picnic Table, Wood
Swing-N-Slide
Cold Case Cracked from the Sunburst Gable Deck

My human seems to have mistaken our backyard for a construction site for diminutive, shrieking bipeds. This "Knightsbridge Deluxe Wooden Swing Set" i…

★★★★☆
Image of Sportspower Arcadia Swing Set - Outdoor Heavy-Duty Metal Playset for Kids with Slide
Sportspower
Metal Colossus Subjugated, Foam Legs Satisfyingly Perforated

My human, in a fit of what I can only assume was temporary madness brought on by too much online shopping, has erected a metallic monstrosity in my b…

★★★☆☆
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