Pete's Expert Summary
My human seems to have acquired yet another object designed to clutter my domain, this time a floppy-eared lagomorph from the Melissa & Doug consortium. I am familiar with their work; they typically produce brightly colored wooden objects for clumsy, miniature humans. This one, however, is all polyester fluff and feigned innocence. At nine inches, it's a respectable size for a proper thrashing, and its "super-cuddly" fabric might, theoretically, be an adequate surface for a brief nap if all seventeen of my superior napping spots are somehow compromised. Still, it lacks the fundamental thrill of a laser dot or the aromatic allure of catnip, so I suspect its primary function will be to gather dust until I deign to acknowledge its existence, likely by knocking it off a high shelf.
Key Features
- Fuzzy and floppy sitting plush bunny
- Surface washable
- Super-cuddly polyester fabric
- 9"H x 10"L x 6"W
- Makes a great gift for all ages, for hands-on, screen-free play
- All ages
A Tale from Pete the Cat
The thing arrived in one of those crinkly Amazonian cocoons that herald either a new shipment of my preferred salmon pâté or, more often, some fresh disappointment. My human, with the sort of beaming optimism I find both pitiable and irritating, placed the floppy white creature on the living room rug. It sat there, a slump of polyester fur and vacant black eyes, its long ears flopped over in a display of utter passivity. An intruder. A silent, fluffy mockery of a true predator. I watched it from the arm of the sofa, my tail giving a single, dismissive flick. It was an insult to my intelligence. For a full day, I conducted a campaign of strategic disregard. I napped ostentatiously on the far side of the room. I sharpened my claws on the forbidden velvet chair, ensuring the human could see me choosing a superior texture. I even chased a sunbeam, a juvenile activity I typically reserve for moments of extreme boredom, all to demonstrate how little this "Burrow Bunny" mattered. Yet, it remained, unmoving, its silence a challenge. In the dead of night, under the sliver of moonlight filtering through the blinds, I decided the time for observation was over. It was time for interrogation. I descended from my perch like a gray shadow, my white tuxedo front immaculate against the gloom. My approach was silent, a ghost with paws. First, the nasal analysis. I sniffed it from tail to ear. It smelled of nothing. A void. Not of prey, not of friend, not of food. This was deeply unsettling. Next, a test of its physical resolve. A swift, exploratory bat with a single paw. The bunny wobbled, its head lolling back with a satisfyingly pathetic lack of resistance. I escalated, grabbing it by one long ear and dragging it into the center of the room. It was light, floppy, and offered no fight. I pinned it, sinking my hind claws into its plush torso and delivering a flurry of powerful kicks. It absorbed the punishment without a sound, its soft form yielding to my assault. After thoroughly establishing my dominance, a strange thing happened. The fight was over, but the texture... it was intriguing. The polyester fur was soft, dense, and surprisingly pleasant against my paws as I retracted my claws. I gave it a tentative knead. Then another. The stuffing was pliable, molding perfectly under my rhythmic pressure. Exhausted from the "battle" and the preceding day of calculated indifference, I laid my head down between its floppy ears. It wasn't a rival. It wasn't a toy. It was a pillow. A ridiculously shaped, vanquished pillow that I had claimed through trial by combat. It would do. For now.