A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Rescue Heroes Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Fisher-Price
Spinning Spark Batted Mid-Air; Carlos Stripped of All Artillery
★★★☆☆
Playskool
One-Step Robots Demoted to Air-Hockey Pucks
★★☆☆☆
Fisher-Price
Ancient Warrior Interred with Grave Goods Under the Sofa
★★☆☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Fisher-Price
Plastic Sentinel Toppled; Sunbeam Reclaimed by Rightful Owner
Pete wages a campaign of psychological warfare against Rocky Canyon's mantel occupation, then executes a decisive forehead-shove that sends the hero tumbling to a dust-bunny retirement under the couch.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has presented me with what appears to be a miniature, plastic effigy of a manual laborer. They call him "Rocky Canyon," a name far too rugged for this Fisher-Price creation. It's a six-inch statue with detachable bits—a helmet and an axe—which, I'll admit, have some potential for being batted into the …

Continued on the story page →
Image of Fisher-Price Rescue Heroes Rocky Canyon, 6-Inch Figure with Accessories
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★☆☆☆
Worthy afternoon drama. Dust bunnies claimed him.
From The Desk
Image of Fisher-Price Rescue Heroes Sandy O'Shin, 6-Inch Figure with Accessories, Multicolor
Fisher-Price
Inferior Claw Mechanism Studied; Bottle Cap Recovered by Superior One

So, the Human has presented me with a 'Rescue Hero' from Fisher-Price, a brand I associate with slobber and simplistic primary colors. This particular specimen is a small, plastic…

★★☆☆☆ — Momentary diversion; classics still reign supreme.
More From The Desk
Image of KidKraft Everyday Heroes Wooden Playset, 3-Story with 26-Piece Accessories, Foldable for Storage
KidKraft
Helipad Commandeered; Wooden Fortress Retroactively Approved

My human, in her infinite and often misguided wisdom, has erected a monument to her species' peculiar obsession with "heroes." It is, I deduce, a thr…

★★★★☆
Image of TRANSFORMERS Playskool Heroes Rescue Bots Academy Mega Mighties Bumblebee Collectible 10" Robot Action Figure, Toys for Kids Ages 3 & Up (Amazon Exclusive)
TRANSFORMERS
Toppled Yellow Landmark Accepts Its New Role as Boundary Post

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has procured a large, plastic effigy. Apparently, it is called "Bumblebee," a 10-inch tribute…

★★☆☆☆
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