A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Power Wheels Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Best Choice Products
Remote-Controlled Throne Recovers a Long-Lost Bottle Cap
★★★★☆
Best Choice Products
Truck Bed Becomes a Mobile Throne for the Rightful Ruler
★★★★☆
Kimbosmart
Offensively Pink Chariot Earns a Grudging Royal Purr
★★★★☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: First Ride On
Passenger Seat Claimed; Chauffeur Responsibilities Assigned
Our critic endures the flamingo-pink exterior and dreadful farm-animal music, then commandeers the empty second seat for a 2-mph royal procession around the yard.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My Human seems to believe the small, loud humans require their own mobile conveyance, a garishly pink, plastic effigy of one of their larger, noisier machines. This "First Ride On" Ford Bronco Raptor is apparently a two-seater, which is the only feature that piques my interest. While one seat would be occupied by a shrieking toddler, the second presents a t…

Continued on the story page →
Image of First Ride On 24V Ride on Toys for Big Kids, Licensed Ford Bronco Raptor 2 Seater Ride on Cars with Remote Control, Ride on Truck w/ 4-Wheeler Suspension, 3 Speeds, Led Lights, Bluetooth (24V, Pink)
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★★☆
My chariot. The Squeaker merely drives.
From The Desk
Image of Power Wheels Jeep Wrangler Willys Ride-On Battery Powered Vehicle with Sounds & Lights for Preschool Kids Ages 3+ Years, Pink
Power Wheels
Pink Jeep Defeats the Robotic Floor Tyrant Decisively

My human seems to be under the impression that I, a creature of refined taste and quiet dignity, would have an opinion on this... colossal pink chariot. It’s a Power Wheels, a bra…

★★★★☆ — A bulwark against technological oppression.
More From The Desk
Image of TOBBI 12V Kids Ride on Car, Electric Off-Road UTV Truck with Forward and Reverse Functions, Double Open Doors, Safety Belt, Horn, Music, and Lights for Kids Aged 3-5 Years (Blue)
TOBBI
Abandoned UTV Becomes a Stationary Nap-Pod Observatory

So, my staff has acquired a large, blue plastic contraption they call a "TOBBI Off-Road UTV Truck." From what I can gather, this is a wheeled noise m…

★★★☆☆
Image of Best Choice Products 6V Kids Ride On Toy, 4-Wheeler Quad ATV Play Car w/ 1.8MPH Max Speed, Treaded Tires, Rubber Handles, Push-Button Accelerator - Black
Best Choice Products
One Button, One Cat, One Forbidden Fleece Blanket Retrieved

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has procured a wheeled contraption clearly intended for a clumsy, miniature version of their …

★★★★★
Image of Best Choice Products Kids 12V Electric Ride On Car Officially Licensed Ford Mustang w/Parent Control, LED Lights, 2 Speeds, Bluetooth - Yellow
Best Choice Products
Yellow Mustang Solves the Case of the Missing Feather Wand

So, the humans have acquired a miniature, offensively yellow carriage, apparently a 'Ford Mustang' for the small, loud one. It moves on its own, whic…

★★★★☆
Image of MINIATURE MOTORS 12V Kids Electric Ride on Truck Car Remote Control, Twin 35W Motors 3.5MPH Max Speed, Bluetooth USB Music Player, 4 Wheels Suspension LED Lights Safety Belt, Gift for Boy & Girl-Black
Miniature Motors
Intruder Truck Earns Chauffeur Status; Case Closed

My human has brought a large, plastic beast into my domain. Apparently, this "Kids Electric Ride on Truck" is a conveyance for the small, shrieking v…

★★★★☆
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