A photo of Pete the cat

Pete's Toy Box: Polly Pocket

Polly Pocket Tiny Power Seashell Purse Compact with Wearable Strap, Fun Under-The-Sea Features, Micro Polly and Lila Mermaid Dolls, 2 Accessories & Sticker Sheet; for Ages 4 Years Old & Up

By: Polly Pocket

Pete's Expert Summary

So, the Human has presented me with this... thing. It's a garish purple and teal plastic clamshell, which apparently opens up into some sort of underwater kingdom for two microscopic plastic figures they call 'Polly' and 'Lila.' From what I can gather, it's a carrying case for potential prey. The appeal, I suppose, lies in the sheer number of tiny, swattable components: little dolls perfect for batting under the furnace vent, a swing to be violently rocked, and a spinning octopus that could fling a doll clear across the room with the right paw-velocity. The dangling strap is a nice touch for ambush practice. Still, it's a lot of plastic nonsense to sift through. It might be a worthy distraction for a few minutes, but it will have to compete with a particularly enticing sunbeam, and frankly, the sunbeam is currently winning.

Key Features

  • This adorable Polly Pocket Tiny Power Seashell purse compact is seashell-shaped (with a sprinkling of hearts and stars) and opens to an exciting under-the-sea mermaid adventure with micro Polly mermaid doll and Lila dolls.
  • Discover and explore these mermaid activities and reveals: open the sea castle door to find a seashell throne; swing on the seashell swing; find a pearl in the clam; ride the surfboard that rocks on the wave; sway on the anchor (clip doll on); sit on the seahorse and spin 360 degrees; take a boat ride; place Polly or Lila doll in the octopus arms and spin it:; and twist the small starfish to spin the shark and turtle!
  • Compact has a strap so kids can wear it as a purse or you can transform it into a fanny pack with a belt!
  • With fun activities and accessories, Polly and Lila dolls are set for the ultimate under-the-sea mermaid adventure!
  • Polly Stick technology lets kids stick the dolls anywhere on the purse compact. Just place the sticker from the sticker sheet (included) anywhere and the dolls will stick to the sticker.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The offering was placed before me on the high-pile savanna of the living room rug. My Human made cooing noises, which I ignored with the practiced dignity of my station. They opened the plastic shell, revealing a chaotic diorama of nauseatingly bright colors. My tail gave a single, dismissive thump against the floor. It was an entire civilization of tiny, fragile things, presided over by two miniature humanoids in mermaid attire. I yawned, showing a flash of fang. Another monument to cheap plastic and fleeting amusement. I was about to turn my attention to a full-body wash when I noticed a detail: a tiny, almost-hidden lever in the shape of a starfish. A flicker of scientific curiosity stirred within my magnificent brain. I crept forward, my gray tuxedo blending into the afternoon shadows. Lowering my head, I regarded the tiny kingdom. The two dolls, Polly and Lila, were perched precariously on their plastic thrones. With the delicate precision of a surgeon, I extended a single, perfect claw and nudged the starfish lever. Below it, a plastic shark and turtle began to spin in a slow, pathetic circle. An interesting, if underwhelming, mechanism. But it gave me an idea. I was not a mere observer of this world; I was its god. A fickle, furry god of chaos. My first act of divine intervention was to test the structural integrity of the "seashell swing." I hooked it with my claw and gave it a sharp tug. The Lila doll, who had been placed upon it by the Human, was launched unceremoniously into the air, tumbling end over end before landing near the sofa leg. Excellent. One down. My gaze then fell upon the Polly doll, which was affixed to a rocking surfboard. I nudged the wave with my nose, creating a gentle tremor. Then, a more forceful shove from my paw created a veritable tidal wave, rocking the board with such violence that Polly was dislodged. She didn't fly, however. She remained stuck to the spot, thanks to some bizarre adhesive technology the mortals called "Polly Stick." A challenge, then. This required a more direct approach. I was no longer a god, but a kaiju, rising from the deep to wreak havoc. I placed a mighty paw directly into the center of the kingdom, my claws carefully retracted. I batted at the spinning octopus, turning it into a vortex of terror. I nudged the little boat, capsizing it. Finally, I returned to the defiant Polly doll on her sticky surfboard. This time, I didn't nudge. I swatted. The sharp *thwack* of my paw against the plastic echoed in the quiet room. The adhesive gave way. The tiny doll went skittering across the hardwood floor, a perfect, sliding target. I pounced, trapping her beneath my paw. The conquest was complete. As a toy, it was passable. But as a stage for my epic saga of destruction and dominion? Utterly sublime. I will permit it to stay.
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Polly Pocket Compact Playset, Otter Aquarium with 2 Micro Dolls & Accessories, Travel Toys with Surprise Reveals (Amazon Exclusive)

By: Polly Pocket

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has presented me with a small plastic case shaped like an otter, a creature I understand is a sort of slick river-weasel. Apparently, it's called a "Polly Pocket." It opens up to reveal a miniature world of garish colors, tiny plastic figures, and various moving parts that seem designed to entertain a creature with a much simpler mind than my own. The only feature of remote interest is the soft, plush patch on its exterior, which might serve as a decent cheek-scratcher in a pinch. The true value, however, lies in the multitude of minuscule accessories inside—perfectly sized for batting, hiding, and ensuring my humans spend their afternoon on their hands and knees, a position of appropriate servitude.

Key Features

  • The Polly Pocket Otter Aquarium compact features an adorable otter design with a soft, plush belly on the exterior and comes with micro Polly and Nicolas dolls.
  • Kids can discover these fun activities: peg one of the dolls to the dolphin to swim, fold down the fish tank and slide for fun, ride on the seahorse see-saw that goes up and down and rotate the jellyfish tank.
  • Compact features 12 accessories--some pieces have a Pop & Swap feature so kids can peg them into different areas of the compact for endless play possibilities.
  • Play out aquarium-inspired adventures with cute animal figures including a dolphin, narwhal whale, seal, penguin, turtle and more!
  • Compact also comes with a strap so kids can wear it as a wristlet to take on the go!
  • Makes a great gift for ages 4 years old and up especially those who love water play, sea creatures and splashy fun!

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The thing was left splayed open on the rug, a forgotten casualty of a sudden call to dinner. It lay there, a bizarre plastic clam revealing its synthetic pearl of a world. I observed it from my throne on the arm of the sofa, a flicker of disdain in my half-closed eyes. Another piece of junk meant for the small, loud human. I drifted into a light doze, the scent of roasting chicken from the kitchen my only real interest. The world shifted. I was no longer in the living room, but adrift in an immense, teal-colored void. Below me, creatures of impossible geometry swam past. A narwhal with a horn like a twisted candy cane, a dolphin that beckoned with a tiny plastic peg on its back. I was immense, a god of gray fur and shadow, my whiskers brushing against the dome of the sky. I saw two-legged figures, frozen in terror, and I lowered a single, colossal paw towards a tiny structure where they stood. My paw… it was just my paw. I felt a strange resistance, a tiny rocking motion under my toe bean. I blinked, and the living room snapped back into focus. I was lying on the rug, my paw resting squarely inside the open Otter Aquarium. The tiny Polly and Nicolas dolls were toppled over, and the little seahorse see-saw was rocking, ever so slightly, back and forth. The air was still, silent save for my own soft breathing and the distant clatter of human dinnerware. Had I really just peered into their world? Or was it merely the result of a post-nap brain addled by dreams of chicken? I withdrew my paw carefully, a newfound, grudging respect settling in my chest. This was no mere collection of plastic. It was a vessel, a tiny, contained reality. A portal. I would not destroy it by batting its inhabitants into the void under the bookcase. No, I would guard it. One must be careful with such things. I gave the otter’s plush belly a single, approving lick before settling down to watch over the strange, silent world.
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Polly Pocket Dolls & Playset with Pets & 25+ Surprise Accessories, Birthday Celebration Unicorn Partyland Playset, Hot Air Balloon Ride

By: Polly Pocket

Pete's Expert Summary

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has procured a monument to saccharine tackiness: a plastic unicorn that apparently doubles as a party piñata. It's for some anniversary of a tiny plastic biped named Polly, who I can only assume has never had to hunt for her own dinner. This contraption vomits and defecates—their words, not mine—tiny plastic accessories, which is a concept both deeply unsettling and morbidly fascinating. It's a cacophony of bright colors, moving parts like a swing and carousel, and even a hot air balloon. While the grand spectacle is an assault on my refined sensibilities, the sheer number of small, loose components—pets, balloons, "gems"—presents a tantalizing opportunity for batting them into the dark, irretrievable voids beneath the furniture. The large plastic shell is a waste of space, but its contents could provide weeks of strategic relocation exercises.

Key Features

  • This Polly Pocket Unicorn Partyland playset is full of festive fun! Everyone's invited to celebrate Polly's 35th anniversary with 2 micro dolls and 25 accessories, including pets.
  • Don't be a party pooper… rainbow 'puke' packed bags and 'poop' of surprise accessories can be reloaded into the unicorn for repeat fun!
  • Open the adorable exterior of the unicorn pinata and bring the party to life with accessories like balloons, party hats, a mini pinata that swings, and cake to share with friends!
  • Decorate the hot air balloon with festive 'gem' accessories and open the door to an additional play and storage area!
  • Dolls can take turns on the swing that moves back and forth or go for a ride on the unicorn-themed carousel. Make a splash by the waterfall which opens to double as storage space!
  • Ideal for kids and collectors alike, ages 4 years old and up will love to celebrate Polly's 35th Anniversary with the Unicorn Partyland playset!

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The vision came to me as I slept in a patch of afternoon sun, my gray fur warmed to a perfect temperature. It was not a dream of chasing the elusive red dot or of an endless bowl of salmon pâté. No, this was a prophecy. I saw a hollow beast, a candy-colored shell with a vacant, painted eye and a horn of swirling pastels. I witnessed its ritualistic disembowelment, a cascade of miniature, brightly colored idols and trinkets spilling from its core. The omens were strange and unsettling—rainbows where they should not be and offerings shaped like tiny, inedible cakes. I awoke with a twitch of my whiskers, the scent of sterile plastic already tainting the air. And there it was. On the living room rug sat the very creature from my vision, the Polly Pocket Unicorn Partyland. My human was cooing over it, demonstrating how the tiny dolls could ride a minuscule carousel. I approached with the gravitas befitting such a momentous and frankly bizarre occasion. I circled the artifact, my tail a low, slow metronome of judgment. The unicorn stared back, its cheerfulness an affront to my dignified existence. The whole scene was an explosion of offensive optimism, a monument to the frivolous joys of beings who do not understand the sacred importance of a 16-hour nap. My human, seeking my approval, popped open the unicorn's side, and the prophecy came to pass. A shower of tiny plastic objects clattered onto the floor. Insipidly smiling dolls, a ridiculous swing, and several so-called "pets" that were an insult to my species. I sniffed at a tiny plastic dog, wrinkling my nose in disgust. This was not a worthy tribute. It was a chaotic mess. My initial skepticism hardened into pure disdain. This was not a toy; it was a pile of future floor clutter. But then, my eye caught it. Tucked amongst the cheap finery was a small, plastic hot air balloon basket, detached from its balloon. It was hollow, lightweight, and just the right size. I gave it a tentative nudge with my nose. It wobbled. I extended a single, perfect claw and gave it a sharp *tap*. It skittered across the hardwood, making a most satisfying *skrrt-skrrt-skrrt* sound before coming to rest perfectly centered on the forbidden antique rug. I looked from the basket to the unicorn's empty husk. The prophecy was fulfilled. The garish beast had served its purpose, birthing this one, single, perfect object for my amusement. The rest was merely decorative chaff, destined for the abyss under the sofa. It was, I conceded, a worthy offering after all.
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Polly Pocket Collector Playset, Harry Potter Compact with 5 Character Dolls & 11 Accessories, Hogwarts Exterior

By: Polly Pocket

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has brought home a plastic clamshell that apparently depicts a "castle" from some moving picture they enjoy. It's a Polly Pocket thing, which I understand to be a vessel for minuscule plastic bits designed to be lost forever within minutes of unboxing. Inside are several tiny dolls—a bespectacled one, a red-headed one, and so on—and a host of accessories that are, frankly, an insult to the word "accessory." While the sheer number of tiny, hard-plastic morsels presents a certain appeal for batting across the hardwood floors, I suspect this is a "collector's item." That usually means it will be placed on a high shelf to gather dust, a tragic waste of its potential for causing low-grade, untraceable chaos. The box might be good for sitting on, but the toy itself seems destined for a life of static observation, a far cry from the dynamic existence it could have under my expert paws.

Key Features

  • Take a trip down memory lane with this Harry Potter x Polly Pocket Compact shaped like Hogwarts with glistening stars
  • Fans can play with the 5 main character dolls, 11 accessories, and 4 iconic Harry Potter locations from the first movie, The Sorcerer's Stone
  • Take the journey to Hogwarts with Harry Potter, Ron, and Hermione from King's Cross station. Arrive in the evening and sail into Hogwarts castle
  • Upon arrival, use the sorting hat to find out who belongs in which house Celebrate the start of a new school year with Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall by feasting in the dining hall
  • Perfect for collectors, this set comes in a displayable box with premium materials and intricate details that celebrate the Harry Potter fandom
  • Makes a great toy for Polly fans and especially Harry Potter fanatics

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The object was laid bare upon the coffee table, a gaudy plastic wound in the center of my napping territory. My human poked at it with a clumsy finger, arranging the tiny figures with the intense, furrowed-brow concentration they usually reserve for trying to open a can of tuna without the electric opener. It was, I deduced, a pathetic miniature world, and I gave it a dismissive tail flick before settling into a nearby sunbeam. My nap, however, was interrupted by a strange confluence of events. As I stretched a hind leg, my paw accidentally nudged the open compact, sending the tiny, red-haired doll skittering onto the rug. Mere moments later, the human, returning from the food chamber, tripped and sent a piece of cheddar—a glorious, orange-gold nugget—flying in my direction. The resemblance was uncanny. The omen, undeniable. I became a student of the plastic oracle. This was no mere toy; it was a control panel for my immediate reality. My initial cynicism melted away, replaced by a focused, scientific curiosity. I began to conduct experiments. Using a single, carefully extended claw, I nudged the miniature boat accessory closer to the castle's edge. Within the hour, my water bowl, which had been deplorably low, was refilled with crisp, cool water. I then repositioned the tiny, bearded headmaster figure to gaze out the miniature window. As if summoned by my arcane ritual, a plump, chattering squirrel appeared on the real windowsill, providing first-rate afternoon entertainment. The human remains blissfully unaware. They think they are "playing" or "displaying a collectible." The fool. They have unwittingly provided me with the very keys to the kingdom. I can now subtly influence the world to my liking. A slight adjustment of the "Hermione" figure towards the tiny feast table seems to precipitate the dispensing of treats. Turning the entire castle to face the hallway appears to ward off the dreaded roaring vacuum beast for at least another day. It is a powerful, profound instrument of feline will. The Hogwarts compact is not a toy. It is a tool. It lacks the satisfying crinkle of paper or the primal allure of a feather wand, but its power is far greater. It has earned its place on the coffee table, not as a piece of human memorabilia, but as my personal altar of cosmic influence. It is utterly worthy, and I shall use its subtle magic to ensure my life of pampered luxury continues uninterrupted. The tiny wizards work for me now.
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Polly Pocket Dolls & Accessories, 2-in-1 Travel Toy, Pineapple Purse Playset with Micro Polly & Lila Dolls

By: Polly Pocket

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has presented me with a garish, yellow plastic pineapple that is apparently a "purse" for small, clumsy humans. Upon further inspection, it splits open to reveal a miniature safari world, complete with tiny plastic dolls, a monkey, and various "fun activities." While the concept of a swinging hammock is intriguing in principle, its laughably small scale makes it an insult to my napping sensibilities. The most promising aspect are the numerous small, loose components—the dolls, the monkey, the boat—which seem perfectly designed for being batted into the dark, unreachable abyss beneath the refrigerator. Ultimately, this appears to be a loud, pointless contraption designed to be carried around, a function for which I, a creature of supreme leisure, have absolutely no need.

Key Features

  • This adorable Tropicool Pineapple purse compact opens to an exciting safari adventure with micro Polly and Lila dolls, a monkey figure and boat that fits 2 dolls.
  • Discover and explore these fun activities and reveals: the treehouse opens to find a swinging hammock; zipline for fast fun; hang out with the monkey; find hidden animals like a lion in a cave and pop-up meerkats and hippo; eat yummy food at the rainforest cafe and more.
  • Compact has a strap so kids can wear it as a purse or you can transform it into a fanny pack with a belt.
  • With fun activities and accessories, Polly and Lila dolls are set for the ultimate safari adventure.
  • Polly Stick technology lets you stick the dolls anywhere on the purse compact. Just place the sticker from the sticker sheet (included) anywhere and the dolls will stick to the sticker.
  • Includes Polly Pocket Tropicool Pineapple purse compact, micro Polly and Lila dolls, 2 accessories and sticker sheet. For ages 4 and up.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The thing arrived in a box that was far more interesting than its contents. My human, however, discarded the superior cardboard vessel and placed the plastic pineapple on the rug. She called it a "Tropicool" adventure. I called it an invasive species. She pried it open, and the scent of a factory floor filled my sensitive nostrils. Inside, a miniature jungle glared back, populated by two tiny, smiling bipeds named Polly and Lila, frozen in rictus grins. There was a monkey, a boat, and a pathetic-looking lion peeking from a cave. My human chirped about a "zipline for fast fun," demonstrating by hooking one of the dolls to a string and sending it whizzing across the plastic chasm. I responded with a slow blink of utter indifference. That night, under the cloak of darkness provided by a passing cloud, I began my investigation. Operation: Pineapple Infiltration. I nudged the clamshell case with my nose. It felt cheap. I peered inside. The dolls were now stuck to the floor via some sort of adhesive wizardry my human called "Polly Stick." A clever prison, but one I had no interest in occupying. I pawed at the little pop-up meerkats. They popped. It was mildly diverting for precisely 0.7 seconds. The rainforest cafe offered plastic food with no scent. A true culinary wasteland. My initial assessment stood: this was a monument to wasted resources. As I turned to stalk away in disgust, my tail—a magnificent, expressive appendage—brushed against the zipline mechanism. It twanged softly. An idea, sleek and predatory, slunk into my mind. I had recently shed one of my whiskers near the food bowl, a perfect, silvery specimen of feline engineering. I retrieved it, carrying it delicately in my teeth back to the pineapple monstrosity. This would be a true test of its crude mechanics. With the precision of a seasoned hunter dropping a gift on a pillow, I draped the whisker over the zipline's string. It was perfectly balanced. I gave the high end a gentle tap with the tip of my claw. The whisker slid, silent and graceful, all the way to the other side. It was a thing of beauty. A silent, elegant descent. I did it again. And again. The tiny plastic dolls could keep their jungle. I had discovered the pineapple's true purpose: it was a sophisticated, gravity-powered whisker-delivery system. A flawed product, certainly, but with this singular, repurposed function, it had narrowly avoided being relegated to the dustbin of my contempt. It could stay. For now.
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Polly Pocket Pollyville Playset, Resort Rollaway Suitcase, Large Travel Toy with 4 Dolls, Car, 25+ Accessories & Storage

By: Polly Pocket

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has presented me with a large, wheeled plastic rectangle from a company called Polly Pocket, which seems to specialize in things far too small for a dignified creature like myself. Upon investigation, it unfolds into a three-tiered diorama of some human vacation spot, complete with a slide, an elevator, and other moving bits intended to amuse a child. The true value, of course, lies not in the intended "play" but in the sheer quantity of minuscule plastic objects—dolls, accessories, a tiny car—all perfectly sized for batting under the heaviest furniture where the clumsy human vacuum cannot reach. While the miniature world itself is a potential napping platform, the primary operator will likely be a small, shrieking human, which could significantly detract from its overall appeal. It has potential, but requires strategic, solitary access.

Key Features

  • This Polly Pocket Pollyville Resort Roll Away doubles as a playset and storage unit for Polly compacts.
  • This action-packed adventure includes 4 dolls, 1 vehicle, and 25 plus accessories with locations like the beach, boardwalk, and hotel.
  • The playset opens to a 3-story resort where kids can take part in endless vacation activities with Polly and friends.
  • Have fun bringing dolls to the lobby in the resort elevator. The hotel also features a delicious buffet, the coolest arcade, and a bathtub in the hotel room.
  • Dolls can fit into the slide and take a sweet ride to the beach boardwalk from the hotel.
  • The beach is full of fun reveals and surprises like: speed bumps that activate the parasailing feature, a ferris wheel for dolls, and a helicopter ride with amazing views.
  • The extendable handle makes it easy to take the playset anywhere on-the-go. Ideal for ages 4 years old and up especially those who love adventures. Colors and decorations may vary.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The thing arrived on wheels, an affront of pink and teal plastic that my human rolled into the living room with an absurd amount of glee. She called it a "Resort Rollaway," a name as clumsy as the object itself. My initial assessment was one of deep contempt. It was a traveling case for mediocrity. But then, she unlatched its sides, and the facade fell away to reveal a tiny, vertical world. It was a resort, yes, but I saw it for what it truly was: a poorly managed estate in desperate need of a new landlord. Me. My first order of business was to inspect the facilities. I started with the hotel. I saw the small human place one of the little plastic tenants—a "doll"—into the elevator. I watched, unimpressed, as she manually moved it between floors. Once she was distracted, I took over. A gentle but firm tap of my paw sent the elevator car rattling to the bottom floor. The ride was clearly not up to safety standards. I proceeded to the buffet, a pathetic display of molded plastic food. I selected a tiny croissant with my claw and flicked it across the room. Tasteless. The entire culinary program would need to be overhauled. Next, I surveyed the recreational areas. The slide, leading from the hotel to the "boardwalk," was a particular point of interest. I nudged one of the vacant-eyed tenants to the precipice and gave it a shove. It tumbled down the garish yellow chute and landed in a heap. The mechanism was sound, if undignified. My attention was then drawn to a peculiar speed bump on the beach level. A single, calculated press of my paw sent a different doll, this one attached to a parachute, soaring into the air. This "parasailing" feature was a frivolous and dangerous liability, but I admit I activated it four more times just to be sure. After a thorough inspection that left the tiny car overturned and half the tenants missing (likely having fled my rigorous safety checks to take up residence under the sofa), I made my final judgment. The Pollyville Resort was a chaotic, shoddily constructed tourist trap with questionable amenities. As I settled my fluffy form onto the roof of the hotel, the highest point from which I could survey the beautiful destruction I had wrought, I decided to take it over. It was a fixer-upper, to be sure, but every ruthless tycoon needs a portfolio of properties to manage. This one would be my crown jewel of chaos.
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Barbie Polly Pocket Dreamhouse Compact, Dollhouse Playset with 3 Micro Dolls, 1 Puppy, 11 Accessories, Elevator & Pool

By: Polly Pocket

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has presented me with a small, aggressively pink plastic box, claiming it's a "Dreamhouse." From my superior vantage point, it appears to be a miniature prison for tiny, plastic humanoids and one woefully undetailed canine figure. The appeal, I suppose, lies in the sheer number of minuscule components—eleven accessories, they say—which are perfectly sized for batting under the heaviest and most inaccessible furniture. The moving parts, an "elevator" and a "slide," might offer a moment of mechanical intrigue, but let's be realistic. This isn't a laser dot or a fresh can of tuna. Its primary value is as a long-term project: the slow, methodical disappearance of every single piece, providing me with fleeting moments of hunting satisfaction and the human with hours of confused searching. A tolerable diversion, but it will never replace a quality nap in a sunbeam.

Key Features

  • ​Polly Pocket doll goes to Barbie-land -- this partnership compact captures the Barbie Dreamhouse in adorable micro form for play or display!
  • ​Barbie doll goes tiny with Polly in this compact playset that comes with Barbie, Brooklyn, and a friend dolls, 1 Taffy dog, and 11 accessories, including a wheelchair, for storytelling fun.
  • ​The compact opens to reveal 3 stories inside the iconic Barbie Dreamhouse, plus outdoor play space!
  • ​Fold the roof of the dollhouse open to reveal a slide, then race down and splash into the pool -- Taffy loves it, too!
  • ​The wheelchair accessible elevator is so much fun and takes dolls with a simple lift from floor to floor where there's so much to do!
  • ​Furniture and storytelling pieces let imaginations go crazy so kids can tell stories and collectors can create cool displays!
  • ​Makes a great gift for ages 4 years old and up, especially those who love both Polly Pocket and Barbie dolls.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The Offering was placed on the Persian rug, a gaudy pink shell amidst a sea of tasteful burgundy. I observed from a distance, tail giving a slow, judgmental sweep. My human made cooing noises and fumbled with a latch. With a plastic *clack*, the thing opened, revealing a garish, tiered world frozen in time. It smelled of a factory and desperation. I was, to put it mildly, unimpressed. This was not prey. This was not food. This was static. I crept closer, my pristine white paws silent on the rug. My gaze fell upon the inhabitants. Tiny, rigid dolls, and one particularly sad-looking dog figure named "Taffy." An affront to all self-respecting animals. With the deliberate, surgical precision of a seasoned predator, I extended a single claw and nudged the little dog. It skittered across the molded floor. A faint glimmer of interest sparked within me. Then I discovered the vertical conveyance—the "elevator." A gentle push of my nose sent the platform rising. I was a god. A furry, gray god of this pocket dimension. I nudged Taffy onto the platform and sent him to the top floor, then, with a swat born of pure scientific curiosity, sent him careening down the slide and into the empty, soulless basin they called a "pool." The silence was deafening, but in my mind, it was a glorious splash. The game changed. This was no longer about simple batting. It was about narrative. I became a director of chaos. One of the dolls, the one in the wheelchair, became the tragic hero. I would place her at the precipice of the slide, a cliffhanger of my own making. Could she make the jump? No. A gentle tap of my paw sent the chair tumbling, a miniature avalanche of my own creation. The dolls were my actors, the house my stage. I was orchestrating a silent, plastic drama of peril and narrow escapes. I spent a full twenty minutes meticulously arranging all the tiny furniture on the roof, only to sweep it all off with one magnificent flick of my tail. It was art. Eventually, the novelty wore thin, as all novelties do. I had explored the creative and destructive potential of this tiny world. The dolls were scattered, Taffy was lost somewhere behind a curtain, and the wheelchair was wedged under the television stand, a mystery for another day. I gave a final, dismissive sniff at the disheveled Dreamhouse. It had served its purpose. It was not a toy for a cat to *play* with, but a world for a cat to *rule*. Satisfied with my brief reign, I turned, stretched languidly, and retired to the sofa for a well-deserved nap, leaving the miniature disaster zone as a testament to my fleeting, but absolute, power. It was, I concluded, a worthy tribute.
Image of Barbie Polly Pocket Dreamhouse Compact, Dollhouse Playset with 3 Micro Dolls, 1 Puppy, 11 Accessories, Elevator & Pool View Details

Polly Pocket Set with 4 Dolls, 3 Pets & 50 Fashion Accessories, Stylin' Safari Fashion Collection, Animal-Themed Case

By: Polly Pocket

Pete's Expert Summary

My Human seems to have acquired a valise of diminutive plastic effigies and their extensive, wildly impractical wardrobes. From what I can gather, this "Polly Pocket Stylin' Safari Fashion Collection" is a travel-sized closet designed for a small human to engage in some sort of miniature dress-up ritual. The appeal for me, naturally, lies not in the vacant-eyed dolls but in the fifty tiny, plastic accessories. These are prime candidates for batting under the heaviest furniture, presenting a delightful, long-term challenge for the biped. The inclusion of three lesser animal figures—a monkey, a koala, and a hippo—is a token gesture, as their static, unblinking forms offer none of the thrill of a real hunt. Ultimately, the dolls are a waste of my time, but the sheer quantity of lose-able clutter makes it a promising source of future chaos.

Key Features

  • This Polly Pocket Stylin' Safari Fashion Collection is wild styling fun with 4 dolls in 3-inch scale, 3 adorable animal friends and 50 fashions in a sweet themed travel case!
  • There are endless play possibilities with a total of 50 pieces, including trendy clothes, competition attire, garments fit for a formal ball, and even an animal onesie costume.
  • Accessorize with shoes, hats, purses, jewelry, hairpieces, glasses, legwarmers, and butterfly wings!
  • Style stories with pieces like binoculars, a camera, and the jungle animals -- there's a baby monkey, koala, and hippo!
  • Open the case for a cool closet -- store the pieces on hangars and in cubbies and dress dolls in front of the 'mirror' while an animal snoozes in the pet bed!

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The garish pink case was opened on the living room rug, a territory I consider an extension of my finest napping sofa. My Human made cooing noises, arranging the tiny, lifeless dolls and their absurdly small garments. I watched from my perch, tail twitching in mild irritation. Another box of plastic nonsense meant to occupy her attention, time that could be better spent administering chin scratches. My initial assessment was bleak: it was a festival of static, brightly-colored rubbish. I was about to execute a dramatic sigh and turn my back on the whole affair when my eye caught a detail. Among the miniature menagerie was a monkey, no bigger than my paw pad, frozen in a state of perpetual placidity. A plan, brilliant and swift, formed in my mind. Waiting until the Human was distracted by a pair of doll-sized butterfly wings, I slunk from the sofa. A silent stalk, a predator in a gray tuxedo moving through the shag-carpet savanna. With a single, precise tap of my paw, the monkey was liberated from its plastic cohort. I snagged the tiny primate in my mouth—its texture was disappointingly smooth, not at all like a proper mouse—and spirited it away to my interrogation chamber beneath the chaise lounge. There, in the dim light, I placed the suspect on the floor before me. "Alright," I meowed softly, a low rumble of inquiry. "Spill it. What is the purpose of this 'Stylin' Safari'? Are you the scout for a larger, more organized invasion of tiny plastic beings?" The monkey, of course, said nothing, its painted-on smile a mocking facade. This would require more advanced techniques. I returned to the scene of the crime, my movements a ghostly blur. I purloined a pair of minuscule binoculars and a tiny camera, dropping them next to the silent simian. "So you're the reconnaissance unit," I deduced, tapping the binoculars. "Observing our movements. Reporting back to headquarters." I nudged the camera. "And documenting our weaknesses, no doubt." The sheer audacity of it! This wasn't a toy; it was an intelligence operation hiding in plain sight. The hippo and the koala were clearly the heavy muscle and the communications expert, respectively. My investigation was unfortunately cut short when the Human’s hand reached under the chaise, retrieving her "little monkey friend." I allowed it, retreating with the dignity of a spymaster whose cover has been temporarily blown. I returned to my sofa, not with boredom, but with a newfound purpose. The Polly Pocket set was no longer just a collection of trifles. It was a dossier. A puzzle box of espionage and intrigue. While the dolls themselves remained utterly worthless, the narrative they unwittingly provided was a challenge worthy of my superior intellect. The set, I decided, could stay. My surveillance of the hippo would begin at dawn.
Image of Polly Pocket Set with 4 Dolls, 3 Pets & 50 Fashion Accessories, Stylin' Safari Fashion Collection, Animal-Themed Case View Details