A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Matchbox Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Hot Wheels
Five Die-Cast Spies Identified; Hunt Has Begun
★★★☆☆
Matchbox
Only Valuable Asset Liberated; Logistics Shrine Closed
★★☆☆☆
Matchbox
Colorful Pebbles Elevated to Abstract Performance Art
★★★☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Matchbox
Twenty Subjects Report to the Lab; Green Truck Excels
Our critic opens a rigorous kinetic research program, dispatches the green pickup on a perfect 180-degree arc, and begins archiving the rest under the entertainment center.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

So, the human has procured a box of what they call "Matchbox" cars. It appears to be a large assortment of tiny metal contraptions with wheels, allegedly modeled after the noisy, smelly things that rumble past my window. The appeal for the small humans seems to be their "realism" and potential for "kid-driven adventure," which sounds exhausting. For a felin…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Matchbox Toy Cars or Trucks 20-Pack, Variety Set of 20 Die-Cast 1:64 Scale Cars, Buses, Fire, Construction or Police Vehicles (Styles May Vary)
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★★☆
The lab is officially open.
From The Desk
Image of Matchbox Toy Car Playset, Takeoff Adventure Airport Set with Die-Cast Audi in 1:64 Scale, Plastic Plane, Take-Off & Landing Feature & Storage
Matchbox
Sad Caged Plane Pitied; Hangar Claimed as Command Post

My human has presented me with what they call a "Matchbox Airport Takeoff Adventure Playset." From my superior vantage point, it appears to be a rather elaborate plastic landscape…

★★☆☆☆ — A hollow idol. Hangar mine, though.
More From The Desk
Image of Matchbox Toy Cars Playset, Action Drivers Fuel Station & 1:64 Scale Toy Truck, Moveable Gas Hoses & Car-Activated Features
Matchbox
Hollow Idol Dismissed; Sacrifice Delivered to Lost-Things

My human has presented me with a miniature plastic effigy of one of their loud, smelly "gas stations." Apparently, it's from a tribe called "Matchbox…

★☆☆☆☆
Image of Matchbox Toy Vehicles & Playset, Transportation Center with 5 Levels, Kid- & Car-Activated Features, 1:64 Scale Taxi, Boat & Helicopter & Food Vendor
Matchbox
Yellow Taxi Neutralized; Helipad Broadcast Interrupted

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has erected a monument to inefficiency. It is a garish, five-story plastic structure they cal…

★★★☆☆
Image of Matchbox HMH29 Ferry Port Set with Detachable Wheeled Ferry, Elements to Activate Manually or with The Help of The Land Rover Car, Children's Toy, from 3 Years Old,
Matchbox
Land Rover Executed; Plastic Sentry Marked for Later

So, the human has presented me with what they call a Matchbox Ferry Port. It appears to be a large, plastic landscape designed for the miniature meta…

★★★☆☆
Image of Matchbox Toy Cars Playset, Action Drivers Police Station Dispatch with Helicopter & Ford Police Car in 1:64 Scale with Lights & Sounds
Matchbox
Car and Chopper Freed; Case Left Permanently Ongoing

My human seems to have acquired a miniature command center for tiny, wheeled servants. From what I can gather, this "Matchbox Police Station" is a ga…

★★★☆☆
Other Desks In This Section
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