A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Hot Wheels Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Hot Wheels
The Midnight Heist That Redeemed a Netflix Tie-In
★★★★☆
Hot Wheels
Five Small Cars, One Masterstroke of Canine Distraction
★★★★☆
Hot Wheels
Not a Stunt Box, But a Long-Range Artillery System
★★★★☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Hot Wheels
A Flawed Masterpiece of Noise and Plastic Reptile
Our critic retreats to the bookcase but admits the T-Rex launcher produces a strangely captivating tribal rhythm — a grudging nod to organized chaos.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human has presented me with this... contraption. It appears to be a large, offensively bright plastic dinosaur in the midst of assaulting a fire station, an event of questionable realism. It's a product of the "Hot Wheels" people, who specialize in crafting tiny, metal vehicles perfect for getting lost under the sofa. The goal, as far as I can tell, is f…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Hot Wheels Toy Car Track Set, City T-Rex Blaze Battle Playset & 1:64 Scale Die-Cast Vehicle, 18” Tall, Multiple Race Outcomes, Spinning Dinosaur Eyes
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★☆☆
Barbaric, but briefly captivating.
From The Desk
Image of Hot Wheels Toy Cars & Trucks 20 Pack, Set of 20 1:64 Scale Vehicles for Play or Display, Instant Collection (Styles May Vary) (Amazon Exclusive)
Hot Wheels
Twenty Cars, One Glorious Feline Kaiju

It appears the Human has acquired a large, flat box filled with what they call "Hot Wheels." My initial analysis suggests these are twenty miniature, metallic effigies of the loud…

★★★★☆ — A landscape, not mere toys.
More From The Desk
Image of Hot Wheels Toy Cars, 10-Pack of Race Cars, Includes 1:64 Scale Corvette, Lamborghini, McLaren Originals
Hot Wheels
The Traffic Commissioner Has Spoken: Order Restored

My human seems to have acquired a collection of miniature, wheeled contraptions. They call them "Hot Wheels," which is a misnomer as they are disappo…

★★★★☆
Image of Hot Wheels Batman Toy Car 5-Pack, Set of 5 1:64 Scale Die-Cast Batman-Themed Vehicles Including The Batmobile
Hot Wheels
The Real Creature of the Night Claims Five Dark Chariots

My human has presented me with a collection of small, metal effigies meant to represent the vehicles of some human folk hero who, like myself, unders…

★★★★☆
Image of Hot Wheels 24-Car Random Assortment Party Pack 2014 and Newer
Hot Wheels
Twenty-Four Omens, One Crimson Prophecy Claimed

My human seems to believe that a sudden, overwhelming influx of miniature metal contraptions would be a source of joy. This "Party Pack" is essential…

★★★☆☆
Image of Hot Wheels Monster Trucks 1:64 Scale 2-Pack Assortment with Giant Wheels
Hot Wheels
Chess Pieces for a Grander Game of Territory

My human, in a moment of questionable judgment, has presented me with artifacts from the 'Hot Wheels' tribe, a brand clearly catering to the unrefine…

★★★★☆
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