A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Hello Kitty Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Lead Review · From: GUND
Absurd Yellow Chimera Earns Residency as a Soft Tool
Pete dismisses the Hello Kitty Unicorn as a logical fallacy in pastel yellow, then hauls it to his mountain fortress and discovers it is an excellent, consequence-free projectile for gravitational studies.

My human, in a fit of what can only be described as frivolous consumerism, has presented me with this... artifact. It purports to be a "Hello Kitty Unicorn," which is a logical fallacy in and of itself. A cat is a cat, the pinnacle of evolution. A unicorn is a horned equine of myth. Combining them is an affront to nature, resulting in this six-inch-tall, pa…

Continued on the story page →
Image of GUND Sanrio Hello Kitty Unicorn Plush Toy, Premium Stuffed Animal for Ages 1 and Up, Yellow, 6”
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★☆☆
A high-quality, absurd tool for my amusement.
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