Pete's Expert Summary
So, the human has presented me with a flat, wooden effigy of that loud, red-haired water-human from the singing box. The Melissa & Doug brand suggests a certain quality of woodwork, which I can respect; it’s certainly better than the usual flimsy plastic nonsense. The set comes with an arsenal of tiny, magnetic veneers—tails, gowns, and other sartorial oddities—and a tray that, while tragically small, might serve for a brief nap in a sunbeam. The primary appeal for me would be the potential for batting the smaller magnetic pieces under the heaviest furniture, a classic pastime. However, the core concept of dressing up a static, smiling plank is fundamentally a waste of my considerable intellect and precious energy. Ultimately, it seems designed to occupy a small, clumsy human, which might free up a lap, but the toy itself is a static bore.
Key Features
- Wooden magnetic Ariel (from Disney’s The Little Mermaid) doll to dress in different outfits
- Includes wooden doll, doll stand, 35 magnetic clothing pieces, storage tray
- Coordinating pieces (tops, tail, shoes, and more) allow for countless combinations
- Helps kids develop fine motor, counting, and sorting skills and encourages creative expression and imaginative play
- Ages 3+
A Tale from Pete the Cat
The thing arrived on a Tuesday, a day I usually reserve for deep contemplation of the dust bunnies congregating under the credenza. The Small Human, a creature of boundless and chaotic energy, was the one who unboxed it. She laid out the wooden figure and its many potential identities on the living room rug, creating a bizarre tableau. There was the maiden in her native aquatic form, a shimmering green tail clicked firmly in place by some unseen force. I watched from my perch on the armchair, unimpressed. Then, the Small Human began the ritual. With a sharp *clack*, the tail was gone. Another *clack*, and a frilly pink gown took its place. *Clack. Clack.* Tiny shoes were affixed to feet that moments before had been a fin. It was a grotesque, lightning-fast evolution. The maiden was being forced through a series of transformations against her will, her painted-on smile the only constant in a whirlwind of sartorial indecision. The Small Human was not playing; she was acting as a fickle god, toying with the very nature of this creature's being. One moment, a princess of the sea. The next, a land-bound debutante. It was horrifying. Eventually, the Small Human’s fleeting attention was captured by a crumb on the floor, and she wandered off, leaving the wooden maiden abandoned mid-transformation. She was wearing a purple top, but the pink gown lay beside her, and only one shoe was attached. The mermaid tail was half-hidden under the edge of the rug. She was a paradox, an impossibility, caught between worlds by the whims of a distracted deity. I padded over silently, my paws making no sound on the rug. The air was thick with her silent, wooden crisis. I sniffed at the rejected mermaid tail. It smelled of wood and faint, sweet paint. I looked at the doll, this creature of two realms, and felt a strange kinship. Was I not also caught between two worlds? The world of untamed instinct and the world of scheduled feedings and temperature-controlled comfort? With a deliberate nudge of my nose, I pushed the mermaid tail back towards the doll, laying it beside her as one might lay a funeral wreath. It was not a toy. It was a stage for a tragedy. I turned and walked away, my own tuxedo-clad form a bastion of stability in a world of chaos. The toy was not for playing, that much was certain. But as an object of profound philosophical study, a silent testament to the turmoil of identity? For that, it had earned a flicker of my respect. I would allow it to remain. For now.
