My Human has presented me with what appears to be a miniature, half-formed homunculus swaddled in a garish purple blanket. They refer to it as a "Cabbage Patch Kid," a preposterous origin story that insults my intelligence. Its primary features are a soft, yielding body—a single point in its favor for potential biscuit-making—and an unnervingly vacant stare…
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My human has presented a new plush homunculus, ostensibly for the smaller, louder human. It's a HABA product, so at least the Germans have ensured a …
My staff has presented me with what they seem to think is a "product." It is, in fact, an adhesive-backed effigy of a bizarrely round-headed human ki…
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My human seems to have acquired a small, plastic totem of a leaky human-kitten. They call it a 'Funko,' which I can only assume is human-speak for 'i…
My human has presented me with yet another small, plastic human, this one from a brand ominously named "Baby Alive." Its purpose seems to be to monop…