Pete's Expert Summary
My human seems to believe my life lacks a certain amount of non-functional, plastic clutter. This new arrival, a "Funko Pop," is apparently a tiny effigy of some green creature named Baby Bop. It is small, made of what they call "durable vinyl," and has the same soulless, black-dot eyes as all the other trinkets from this brand. Its stated purpose is to sit on a desk or in a "display case," which is a frankly pathetic life goal for any object. While it offers no scent, no crinkle, and certainly no feathers, its compact, hard-plastic form and low center of gravity might, I concede, make it a superb puck for a game of midnight floor hockey. For now, it's just another silent, judgmental observer of my naps.
Key Features
- IDEAL COLLECTIBLE SIZE - At approximately 3.75 inches (9.5 cm) tall, this vinyl mini figurine complements other collectable merchandise and fits perfectly in your display case or on your desk
- PREMIUM VINYL MATERIAL - Made from quality, durable vinyl, this collectible is built to last and withstand daily wear, ensuring long-lasting enjoyment for fans and collectors alike
- GIFT IDEA FOR BARNEY AND FRIENDS FANS - Ideal for holidays, birthdays, or special occasions and as a present this figurine is a must-have addition to any Barney and Friends merchandise collection
- EXPAND YOUR COLLECTION - Add this unique Baby Bop vinyl display piece to your growing assortment of Funko Pop figures, and seek out other rare and exclusive collectible items for a complete set
- LEADING POP CULTURE BRAND - Trust in the expertise of Funko, the premier creator of pop culture merchandise that includes vinyl figures, action toys, plush, apparel, board games, and more
A Tale from Pete the Cat
The new thing arrived in one of those delightful cardboard boxes, which I immediately claimed. The human, however, was more interested in the contents. They extracted a small, green figurine and placed it on the mantelpiece, a sacred space usually reserved for framed pictures of themselves and, on one regrettable occasion, a sprig of holiday mistletoe. I observed it from the safety of the sofa. It was a stout, reptilian being with a vacant stare and a garish yellow bow perched on its head. An idol for a forgotten, tasteless god, I presumed. I yawned and dismissed it. The next afternoon, a peculiar event occurred. I was contemplating the physics of gravity by nudging a pen closer to the edge of the coffee table when the sun shifted. A brilliant, warm beam of light—my personal, reserved sunbeam—sliced through the window. But instead of landing in its usual spot on the rug, it struck the vinyl head of the green statue. The light refracted, scattering a perfect, impossibly warm patch of sun directly onto the plush cushion of my favorite armchair. It was as if the idol had commanded the sun itself for my benefit. I paused, my paw hovering over the pen. A coincidence, surely. But a highly convenient one. I decided to conduct an experiment. The following morning, as the human prepared to fill my food bowl, I saw them reaching for the mundane, dry kibble. A peasant's meal. I stared intently at the green figure on the mantel, projecting my deepest, most primal desire for the salmon pâté in the crinkly pouch. I narrowed my eyes, focusing all my psychic energy on the little vinyl oracle. Just as the human was about to pour, they hesitated. They looked from the bag of kibble to the cupboard, a flicker of inspiration on their face. They put the bag down and retrieved a pouch of the good stuff. My jaw, had it the correct musculature, would have dropped. The figurine was not a toy. It was not a "collectible." It was a conduit. A silent, powerful totem that bent the will of the universe—or at least the will of my easily suggestible human—to my favor. Its "durable vinyl material" was not for withstanding batting, but for containing its immense cosmic power. I no longer saw it as a potential floor hockey puck. I saw it as an ally. The human thinks they bought a cute piece of pop culture merchandise. What they actually did was install a silent, green god-king on my mantelpiece, and I, for one, am here to worship. It is absolutely worthy of its place in my kingdom.
