Pete's Expert Summary
My human has presented me with what appears to be a small, plastic homunculus with an unnervingly cheerful expression. This "Barbie" is apparently a gymnast, a profession that involves a great deal of pointless flailing for the amusement of others, something I can relate to. The set comes with numerous small, plastic objects—a "trophy" and "medal" look promisingly shiny and perfectly sized for batting into the dark dimension under the couch. The main feature is a contraption that allows the doll to perform flips, which, while visually more dynamic than a sunbeam, seems dreadfully repetitive. The doll's tiny gym bag, however, holds some potential as a place to store a single, very important kibble, but overall, this seems less like a toy for me and more like a distraction for the giant who controls the food bowl.
Key Features
- Kids will flip out imagining a career in gymnastics with Barbie doll and her balance beam -- the playset includes 10+ themed pieces to inspire winning stories!
- Snap Barbie doll's waist into the c-clip and use to help her perform cartwheels, flips, leaps and more!!
- Dance a rockin' floor routine with a pair of hoops or batons -- they have handles so her hands can really hold them!!
- Tell stories before and after routines with additional accessories that include a trophy, medal, water bottle and snack!!
- Barbie gymnast doll wears a colorful iridescent leotard with her blonde hair in a ponytail and has a warm-up suit, sneakers and gym bag to let imaginations travel!!
- With so many pieces to inspire dreams, this Barbie playset makes a great toy for kids 3 years and older, especially those who love sports and gymnastics!
A Tale from Pete the Cat
The box arrived on a Tuesday, rudely interrupting a perfectly good nap in my favorite sun puddle. My human, with the usual cooing noises reserved for simpletons and myself, freed the creature from its transparent prison. It was a blonde doll, lean and clad in a garish, iridescent fabric that hurt my eyes. She was placed upon a narrow plastic plank, her waist locked into a strange C-shaped claw. "Look, Pete! She's a gymnast! She can do flips!" my human declared, as if I were interested in the athletic pursuits of inanimate objects. With a flick of a human finger, the doll contorted, spinning end over end in a silent, unnatural arc. Once. Twice. A third time. My ears swiveled, but my eyes remained half-closed in feigned indifference. This was not play. This was a message. I have seen the neighborhood squirrels perform similar frantic movements when they believe they are unobserved—a ritual of territorial declaration. This plastic effigy, with its frozen smile, was laying claim to my living room, one silent, perfect flip at a time. The little hoops and batons weren't accessories; they were ceremonial weapons. The trophy was a totem of a previous, vanquished foe. I rose, stretching with a languid grace the doll could only dream of, and padded over. The human made her flip again, her plastic legs scissoring through the air. It was a language I was beginning to understand: a cycle of controlled chaos, a meditation on gravity itself. What was she trying to say? Was it a warning? An invitation to a higher plane of understanding? I ignored my human's babbling and focused on the doll, dangling from her clip. Her permanent smile seemed less cheerful now, more like the serene, all-knowing expression of a tiny oracle. I did not pounce. I did not bat at her. Such crude interactions were beneath the gravity of the moment. Instead, I sat, placing a single, soft grey paw gently on the end of the balance beam, stilling its slight vibration. The ritual was paused. I looked from the suspended doll to my human, whose face was a mask of simple amusement. They did not understand. This was not a toy to be swatted or chewed. This was a philosopher made of vinyl, a silent master of physics to be observed and, perhaps, eventually, understood. The doll was worthy, not as a plaything, but as an object of profound contemplation. She could stay. Her lessons had just begun.
