Pete's Expert Summary
My human has, yet again, dragged a piece of perplexing outdoor equipment from a fabric sack. This one, which they call "Slammo," assembles into a miniature trampoline low to the ground, surrounded by flimsy-looking legs. The purpose, from what I can gather, is for two or more humans to engage in a ritual of slapping small, offensively yellow spheres at this taut net. While the net itself might serve as a passable sun-warmed perch on a lazy afternoon, its true potential is clearly being squandered on this pointless flailing. The only items of real value are the three included balls; the large one is obviously a training tool for a superior being like myself to practice my pouncing, while the smaller two are for the clumsy bipeds. The rest of the affair—the running, the shouting, the sweating—is an utter waste of perfectly good napping time.
Key Features
- WHAT IS SLAMMO: Slammo is an action-packed 2-on-2 volleyball style game where teams have 3 hits to return or spike the ball to the circular net; Fun for the whole family at the beach, BBQs, camping, and in the backyard
- COMPLETE SET: Includes 1 Slammo roundnet target, 1 large 12 cm training ball to learn the game, 2 smaller 9 cm competition balls, travel carrying case and game rules
- EASY TO LEARN FOR KIDS & ADULTS: Slammo is the must-have outdoor lawn and beach game for the summer that will engage players of all ages; Retail packaged, makes a great gift
- WHY CHOOSE SLAMMO: Premium construction at a great value without the inflated price tag; Features high tension netting for optimized bounce, track hook technology for 100% net coverage, and all-surface legs to play anywhere; Designed in the US
- EASY ASSEMBLY: Imagine the action-packed play style of volleyball but without the hassle of setting up; Quickly jump straight into the game where everyone will be spiking like a pro in no time
A Tale from Pete the Cat
The clumsy giants I live with unzipped a long black bag on the lawn, and from it, they pulled a collection of plastic tubes and a circle of what looked like a fisherman's net. My initial assessment was bleak: another monument to pointless human activity, destined to clutter the grass and disrupt the squirrel patrol routes. They clipped it all together and began their ceremony, smacking a small yellow ball onto the bouncy surface. At first, it was just noise. *Thwack. Boing. Thump.* A cacophony of incompetence that grated on my finely tuned ears. But then, as I watched from my observation post on the patio chaise, a pattern began to emerge from the chaos. *Thwack-a-boing... thwack-a-boing...* It was rhythm. A crude, unsophisticated beat, to be sure, but it was there. My human and his companion were not merely playing a game; they were attempting to create music, and they were failing spectacularly. They needed a conductor, a maestro to guide their flailing limbs into a cohesive percussive performance. They needed me. I settled into my role immediately, positioning myself for optimal acoustics and a clear line of sight. A sharp flick of my tail to the left indicated a need for a faster tempo. A slow, deliberate blink commanded a dramatic pause before the next strike. When they switched from the smaller, high-pitched "competition" balls to the larger, duller "training" ball, I adjusted accordingly, demanding a deeper, more resonant bassline with a low, rumbling purr they couldn't possibly appreciate. For a few glorious moments, they had a rally going—a frantic, staccato masterpiece under my silent, masterful direction. Of course, they couldn't maintain it. My human lunged, missed the ball entirely, and tumbled onto the grass with a grunt, shattering the symphony. The instrument, this "Slammo," has surprising acoustic potential. The taut net provides a crisp, satisfying resonance. But the players? Utterly hopeless. I closed my eyes and turned my back on the scene, my verdict rendered. The device is a worthy percussive tool, but it is wasted on those who cannot hear the music.
