A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Preschool Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
hand2mind
Cold Blue Gel Accepts Pete's Paw Print as Art
★★★☆☆
NASHRIO
Pete Spells TUNA; Human Attributes It to the Toddler
★★★★★
Yetonamr
Forty-Eight Dinosaurs Begin New Lives Under the Furniture
★★★★☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Crayola
Three Suspects Sentenced to Under-Furniture Exile
Pete interrogates each safety scissor in turn, confirms they cannot actually destroy anything, and dispatches all three to separate dark corners as a final, withering verdict on the hollow promise of destruction.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human has presented me with a set of three colorful, plastic contraptions from Crayola, a brand I associate with the tiny human's chaotic smearing rituals. These are, apparently, "safety scissors." The very name is an oxymoron and an insult. They purport to offer the satisfying experience of cutting, but with plastic blades and rounded tips designed for …

Continued on the story page →
Image of Crayola Toddler Safety Scissors (3pk), Blunt Tip Training Scissors for Preschool Learning Activities, Right & Left Handed, Toddler Back to School Essentials
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★☆☆☆☆
An illusion of power. Dismissed.
From The Desk
Image of Preschool Learning Activities - Tracing Books for Kids Ages 3-5 - Toddler Handwriting Practice - Letter Tracing for Kids Preschool Kindergarten Workbooks 3-4, 4-5 - Learning Books - Summer Toys
Momo & Nashi
The Eraser Vanishes; Pete Claims the Intelligence Kit

My human seems to be under the impression that the small, loud creature that occasionally visits requires "enrichment." To that end, they have acquired this… kit from a brand call…

★★★☆☆ — Box and wands are worthy. Letters, no.
More From The Desk
Image of Magnetic Tiles Kids Toys STEM Magnet Toy for Toddler Magnetic Blocks Building Preschool Learning Sensory Montessori Toys for 3+ Year Old Boys and Girls, Safe Creativity Toddler Kids Toy 40PCS
Coodoo
The Invisible Force Passes Inspection; Pete Commands It

My human has, once again, mistaken our home for a "preschool" and acquired a box of Coodoo brand plastic shapes. Apparently, they are magnetic, which…

★★★★☆
Image of Dot Markers for Toddlers Kids Preschool, Bingo Daubers Washable Art Markers 8 Colors, Toddlers Arts and Crafts Supplies, Kids Painting Drawing Coloring Supplies, Dot Paint Craft Kit Preschool Learning
Soucolor
Eight Totems Render the Small Human Temporarily Inert

My human has presented me with what appears to be a collection of short, fat cylinders filled with luridly colored liquid. They are called "Soucolor …

★★★☆☆
Image of Learning Resources Mini ABC Pops – Alphabet Learning Toys, ABC Puzzle, Phonics Games for Toddlers, Fine Motor Toys, Play Food Set, Preschool Learning Activities, Sensory Bin Letters, Gifts for Kids
Learning Resources
The Fish Rune Is Sacrificed Under the Refrigerator

Ah, another vessel of brightly colored plastic has breached the perimeter, this one from a brand called "Learning Resources," which sounds dreadfully…

★★★☆☆
Image of Melissa & Doug My First Daily Magnetic Calendar - Activities Calendar For Kids, Weather And Seasons Calendar For Preschoolers and Kids Ages 3+
Melissa & Doug
Pete Discovers the Scepter Hidden on the Kitchen Wall

It appears my human has acquired another contraption from the infamous Melissa & Doug, a brand specializing in objects for the smaller, less-furry hu…

★★★★★
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