Pete's Expert Summary
It appears my human has acquired another noisy, flat-surfaced contraption from the venerable 'Parker Brothers' institution, which typically specializes in creating things for them to shout at. This one, 'Sorry! Sliders,' seems to be a variation of shuffleboard, but with small, brightly colored pawns that are meant to be slid across a two-sided board. While the complex rules and the humans' inevitable arguments over 'scoring' are a colossal waste of my valuable napping time, the true potential lies in the 'sliders' themselves. They are small, lightweight, and almost certainly possess a satisfying skittering quality when batted across a hardwood floor. The 'customizable tracks' are merely a pre-packaged obstacle course for my amusement. It might be worth a flick of the paw, if only to see one of these pieces disappear under the couch.
Key Features
- SORRY! SLIDERS is the hot new way to play SORRY! --with a twist!
- Lots of ways to customize tracks and boards!
- Aim, slide, collide and score to win!
- 4 ways to play on 2-sided board!
- Family game night fun for the whole family!
A Tale from Pete the Cat
The evening’s ritual began with an unsettling crinkle of cardboard. From my perch atop the velvet armchair, I watched as The Hand laid out the arena. It was a glossy, two-sided battlefield, sectioned off with plastic rails that clicked together. Then came the combatants: stout little pawns with polished, rounded bottoms. They were arrayed in squads of four—red, blue, green, and yellow. The humans called it a “game,” but I recognized it for what it was: a crude simulation of territorial skirmishes. They were preparing for a tournament of some kind, their clumsy fingers setting up the track. Their first attempts were laughably inept. They would flick a pawn, sending it careening into a wall or skittering feebly to a halt in the no-man's-land between scoring zones. There was no finesse, no understanding of momentum or friction. They were brutes, relying on sheer force. I, on the other hand, saw the potential. I watched the yellow pawn, slid by the smaller human, as it glided with a whisper-soft *shhhhhhh* before being violently knocked aside by a blue one. The *clack* of the collision was sharp, an insult to the art of motion. This was not a game of force; it was a dance, and these oafs were trampling all over the dance floor. An opportunity presented itself. The Hand had just slid a red pawn, a particularly arrogant-looking piece, to rest precariously close to the edge of the board. Both humans were distracted, arguing over a previous "collision." This was my moment. I did not pounce. Pouncing is for amateurs. I flowed from the armchair, a silent, gray-and-white shadow. I ascended the side of the coffee table with the practiced ease of a master. My paw, a tool of surgical precision, extended. I did not bat or swipe. I made contact with the red pawn, applying the exact pressure needed—a gentle, guiding push. It slid. Oh, it slid beautifully. It sailed off the edge of the board in a perfect, silent arc, landing on the hardwood floor with a muted *tock*. It then skittered, under its own glorious momentum, directly under the heavy oak bookshelf. A place of no return. The humans erupted in confused chatter. "Where did the red one go?" they cried, their game ruined. I was already back in my armchair, meticulously grooming a single, perfect white whisker. The game itself is a childish mess, but the 'sliders' possess a sublime quality. They respond to a master's touch. Worthy, but only when liberated from the clumsy hands of their so-called owners.
