A Review · From: Polly Pocket
Pink Plastic House Contains a Visitable Parallel Dimension
Our critic is transported into the Dreamhouse at kaiju scale, terrorizes the tiny inhabitants, and concludes the unstable compact is a flawed but worthwhile terrorizing dimension.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic · Filed from beneath the coffee table
My human seems to have acquired a piece of pink plastic that unfolds into a miniature dwelling, apparently a collaboration between two purveyors of tiny, useless objects. It's a "Dreamhouse," they call it, populated by minuscule homunculi and an even smaller canine replica that is an affront to dignified animals everywhere. It boasts features like an elevator and a slide, which I suppose could be mildly interesting for batting the tiny inhabitants down. Mostly, it appears to be a collection of chokeable parts, destined to be lost under the furniture and serve as a monument to the human's questionable taste. An utter waste of perfectly good shelf space that could be used for napping.
The thing arrived on a Tuesday, a day I typically reserve for deep contemplation of the dust motes dancing in the sunbeams. The human cooed over the pink plastic clamshell, unfolding it to reveal a scene of domestic horror in miniature. Three stiff-legged figures with painted smiles and a dog the size of my claw were arranged inside. I gave it a cursory sniff—it smelled of a factory and disappointment—and retired to the arm of the sofa, dismissing it as another piece of colorful refuse.
Hours later, a strange silence fell over the house. The human was out. A faint, high-pitched hum, almost too high for even my superior ears, drew me from my slumber. It was coming from the plastic house. Against my better judgment, I padded over. The tiny world inside was lit by an unseen, internal light. Compelled by a force I did not understand, I reached out a single paw and gently touched the tiny, foldable roof. The world dissolved into a nauseating swirl of pink and turquoise.
I was no longer in the living room. Or rather, I was, but my perspective had shifted catastrophically. I was a furry god, a kaiju of gray fluff, standing astride the very Dreamhouse I had just disdained. My whiskers brushed the third-story ceiling. The air was thick and still. The little figures—Barbie, Brooklyn, and their friend—were now waist-high statues, their vacant smiles mocking my colossal confusion. The tiny dog, Taffy, cowered near a plastic chaise lounge. I nudged the "elevator" with my nose; it rattled in its shaft, a flimsy piece of junk. I laid my tail across the slide, blocking it entirely, a serpent in their tiny Eden.
The power was... interesting. I could rearrange their entire existence with a lazy swipe of my paw. I could trap them in their tiny bedrooms, relocate their pool to the roof, flick their pointless accessories into oblivion. As I was considering using the little wheelchair as a makeshift chew toy, the world shimmered again. The familiar weight of gravity returned, and I was myself again, sitting on the rug, blinking. The plastic house sat before me, inert and silent. It was no mere toy. It was a flawed, unstable, but visitable dimension. An entire world I could terrorize at my leisure. For that alone, it was worthy.
Exhibit A — the specimen
The Particulars
—Polly Pocket doll goes to Barbie-land -- this partnership compact captures the Barbie Dreamhouse in adorable micro form for play or display!
—Barbie doll goes tiny with Polly in this compact playset that comes with Barbie, Brooklyn, and a friend dolls, 1 Taffy dog, and 11 accessories, including a wheelchair, for storytelling fun.
—The compact opens to reveal 3 stories inside the iconic Barbie Dreamhouse, plus outdoor play space!
—Fold the roof of the dollhouse open to reveal a slide, then race down and splash into the pool -- Taffy loves it, too!
—The wheelchair accessible elevator is so much fun and takes dolls with a simple lift from floor to floor where there's so much to do!
—Furniture and storytelling pieces let imaginations go crazy so kids can tell stories and collectors can create cool displays!
—Makes a great gift for ages 4 years old and up, especially those who love both Polly Pocket and Barbie dolls.
Pete's Verdict
★★★☆☆
A visitable dimension. Worth it.
Classified
Acquire This Trinket
Should you insist. Pete is unbothered either way.
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Filed under: Polly Pocket