Pete's Expert Summary
My human has acquired a miniature, silent version of herself, apparently from a long-standing dynasty of toymakers called "Madame Alexander." They've been making these things for nearly a century, so they must have some appeal to the less-discerning members of this household. This one is a soft-bodied effigy with a disturbingly smooth vinyl head and limbs, and it comes with a useless bottle that contains neither tuna juice nor cream. Its primary function, I gather, is to be cuddled by the small human. For me, the soft body might present some opportunities for biscuit-making, but the most unsettling feature is its eyes, which are said to open and close. This suggests a level of surveillance I am not comfortable with. It is likely a colossal waste of my energy, but I will reserve final judgment until I can properly assess its value as a potential napping pillow.
Key Features
- Baby Cuddles: Cuddly, cute, and easy for small hands to hold, this 14-inch baby doll engages your child's imagination through doll play in a floral tee, ruffled pinafore with floral embroidery, stripe leggings and headband with bow; Includes a bottle
- Baby Features: Soft-bodied doll with vinyl head and limbs features light skin tone and blue eyes that open and close, encouraging interactive nurturing play; Doll wipes clean with a damp cloth. Packed in a window box; Recommended for ages 18 months and up
- Love Is In The Details: Our dolls and baby dolls are made to be played with safely and comfortably, with beautiful details, fun accessories and cute outfits crafted to delight and provide engaging, nurturing playtime
- Collect and Gift: Crafted with intricate details and quality craftsmanship, Madame Alexander dolls make a lovely gift for children or a great addition to your doll or baby doll collection
- Madame Alexander Doll Company: With nearly 100 years of toymaking innovation since 1923, Madame Alexander has created high quality dolls that deliver invaluable play experiences and inspire passion in collectors
A Tale from Pete the Cat
It arrived in a clear box, a plastic prison from which it stared with vacant blue eyes. The human cooed and extracted it, placing the creature on the velvet ottoman—my ottoman, the one perfectly positioned to receive the 3:15 PM sunbeam. I watched from the arm of the sofa, my tail giving a slow, irritated thump. It was a soft, doughy thing dressed in garish florals, an affront to the minimalist décor I strive to maintain. Its skin had the lifeless sheen of vinyl, and its painted-on smile was an empty promise. Another piece of human clutter destined to be ignored. My curiosity, that most accursed of feline traits, eventually won out. After the human departed, I leaped silently onto the ottoman for a closer inspection. I circled the doll, sniffing its strange, clean scent. It smelled of nothing, which was in itself suspicious. I extended a single, perfect claw and gently tapped its forehead. The effect was immediate and unnerving. *Click*. Its blue eyes, which had been staring at the ceiling, slid shut. I retracted my paw, startled. The world held its breath. Was it feigning sleep? A pathetic defense mechanism. I leaned in again, my whiskers twitching, and as my nose brushed its cheek, the eyes snapped open again. *Click*. This was no mere toy. This was a challenge. A silent, psychological duel. For the next hour, I conducted a series of rigorous experiments. A low growl from my chest: the eyes remained open, defiant. A sudden pounce to its left: they snapped shut. A long, unblinking stare of my own, channeling all my ancestral power: a stalemate, its plastic gaze unwavering. I discovered that a precise, soft pat just above the headband would trigger the closing mechanism every time. It was a secret, a code between us. The humans thought this was a simple doll for "nurturing play," but they were blind. This was a complex mechanism, a puzzle box disguised as an infant. I finally settled down, curling up beside it on the ottoman, the sunbeam warming my gray fur. My verdict was in. The doll, this "Madame," was not for hunting or for shredding. It was an object of study. Its silent, reactive nature was a far more sophisticated form of entertainment than a frantic feather wand. It was a worthy adversary, a quiet companion in my intellectual pursuits. It could stay. For now, it could share my sunbeam.
