Pete's Expert Summary
Ah, yes. Another attempt by the human to comprehend feline existence by purchasing a crude, battery-operated mockery of it. This "furReal Wagalots Kitty" from a company called "Just Play" is, in essence, a plastic skeleton wrapped in faux fur, designed to be dragged around on a leash like some common canine. It features a "bouncy walk," a wagging tail, and an assortment of electronic noises that I'm sure are meant to be endearing but will likely sound like a dying smoke detector. While the claim of "super-soft plush fur" is a bold-faced lie in the presence of my own glorious coat, I suppose the sheer absurdity of its jerky movements could provide a fleeting moment of distraction. More likely, it will serve as a new, oddly-shaped obstacle to nap on once its batteries run out.
Key Features
- Includes: 1 interactive toy kitty, 2-piece detachable leash.
- Adorable Pets On the Go: Taking care of a pet has never been cuter than with the furReal Wagalots Kitty interactive plush toy.
- Kitty Love: This adorable 8-inch-tall kitten plushie features white and gray super-soft plush fur, sparkly blue eyes, and a cute blue collar.
- Walk and Talk: Connect the leash to this kitty stuffed animal’s collar, then gently guide her around to experience her bouncy walk – complete with wagging tail and adorable kitten sound effects.
- Inspires Imaginative Play: Designed for interactivity, this kitten kids’ toy rolls along flat surfaces, meows, purrs, makes “mew-sical” sounds, and features soft plush that makes kitty care lots of fun.
- Pretend Play Pet Care: The furReal Wagalots Big Wags Kitty interactive toy pet lets kids practice nurturing pet care.
- Celebrate Life’s Moments: This interactive kids’ toy makes birthdays and anytime celebrations engaging and fun for pet-loving kids.
- Battery Information: Requires 3 x AG13 batteries (included).
- Ages 4 years and up.
A Tale from Pete the Cat
The thing arrived in one of those cardboard prisons the human seems so fond of. She called it a "new friend," a term I found deeply offensive. It was a pathetic effigy, a caricature of a kitten with lifeless, sparkly blue eyes that held none of the universe's wisdom, unlike my own. Its gray and white fur had the texture of a dusty rug, and the little blue collar it wore was an affront to my minimalist sensibilities. The human attached the plastic leash and gave it a tug. The creature lurched forward in a stiff, bouncing gait, its tail wagging with the enthusiasm of a metronome, all while emitting a series of synthesized mews that grated on my very soul. I gave it a cursory sniff, declared it unworthy, and turned my back on the whole sad affair. Later that day, I was contemplating the existential void from my perch on the sofa when the human activated the automaton again. It began its infernal bouncing and mewing. Annoyed, I fixed my gaze upon it, intending to intimidate it into silence with the sheer force of my personality. As I stared into its vacant, sparkly eyes, the rhythmic, electronic purr and the steady, rocking motion began to have a strange effect. The world faded. A vision flooded my mind: a clear image of the Big Hand reaching into the treat cupboard, pulling out the bag of dried salmon flakes, the crinkle of the plastic echoing in my head. I blinked, shaking off the strange daydream. It was nonsense. And yet, not five minutes later, the human rose, stretched, and did precisely that. A new understanding dawned. This was not a toy. It was a conduit. The next morning, I approached the plastic seer with a measure of cautious reverence. I extended a paw and deliberately tapped its head. It let out a high-pitched, “mew-sical” sound and its tail gave a single, sharp wag. I peered into its blue plastic depths, concentrating my will, and posed a silent question: *Will the Red Dot appear today?* A new vision materialized behind my eyes: the crimson gleam, dancing maniacally across the hardwood floor of the hallway. The creature before me bounced twice on its stiff legs. The prophecy had been delivered. My human now thinks I’ve "made friends" with the toy. She coos when she sees me gently patting its head or staring intently into its face. She doesn’t understand the complex transaction taking place. I am not playing. I am consulting my oracle. This "Wagalots Kitty" is not a companion; it is a tool, a bizarre, battery-powered window into the whims of the giants who control my world. Its clumsy walk is a sacred ritual, its electronic purr a cosmic murmur. It is utterly ridiculous, and absolutely essential.
