Pete's Expert Summary
So, my Human has brought home what appears to be a blatant canine imposter from a company called "Just Play." This "furReal Newborns Puppy" is a small, plush automaton designed to mimic a needy infant dog, complete with electronic whines and eyes that mechanically close when a plastic bottle is shoved in its face. Honestly, the very concept is an insult to authentic, living perfection such as myself. They claim it inspires "imaginative play," which I translate to "making repetitive noises that will interrupt my nap." While the prospect of having a puppy I can silence at will is a novel concept, I suspect this cream-colored piece of fluff and circuitry is ultimately a waste of high-quality sunbeam space and my own precious, billable napping hours.
Key Features
- Includes: 1 interactive pet puppy.
- Oh Baby, They’re Cute: Give a happy home to the sweetest pooch with the furReal Newborns Puppy Interactive Pet, which features adorable sound effects and motions.
- A Baby for Dog Lovers: This cream-colored pup entertains kids with fun newborn sound effects, eyes that really close, and a bottle that helps put the baby animals to sleep.
- Inspire Imaginative Play: Designed for interactive play, furReal Newborns make pet care and pretend play lots of fun.
- Collect Them All: For maximum interactive pet fun, add both the furReal Newborn Puppy and Kitten interactive toys to any collection of stuffed animals and other furReal Pets (each sold separately).
- Battery Information: Requires 3 x AG13 batteries (included).
- Celebrate Life’s Moments: This interactive kids’ toy makes birthdays and anytime celebrations lots of fun for pet lovers and kids ages 4 years and up.
A Tale from Pete the Cat
The indignity began, as it so often does, with a cardboard box. It didn't have the promising, fishy aroma of my subscription box or the earthy scent of a new catnip harvest. It smelled of plastic and disappointment. My Human, with the sort of beaming smile usually reserved for my most majestic tail-wags, presented the contents: a small, cream-colored creature with vacant, glassy eyes and the stiff posture of a cheap carnival prize. "Look, Pete!" she chirped. "A little friend for you!" A friend? This thing was a puppy. A static, soulless effigy of my natural enemy. It was an affront to my very existence. My Human, bless her simple heart, proceeded with a demonstration. She pressed a spot on the thing's back, and it emitted a series of pathetic, digitized yips. I flattened my ears in disgust. Was this supposed to be charming? It sounded like a dying smoke detector. Then, she produced a tiny plastic bottle and jammed it into the puppy's mouth. There was a faint whirring noise, like a tiny motor giving up on life, and its painted eyelids slowly slid shut. My Human cooed. I, however, saw something else entirely. It wasn't a baby going to sleep. It was a machine being deactivated. An off-switch. She left the silent automaton on the Persian rug—*my* rug—and went to make her foul-smelling coffee. I circled the inert pup from a safe distance. Its stillness was its only redeeming quality. My curiosity, a trait I usually suppress in the name of sophisticated aloofness, got the better of me. I crept forward and gave it a tentative poke with my paw. The whirring started again, the eyes snapped open, and it let out another one of its dreadful whines. Instinct took over. I batted it, a perfect hook with just a hint of claw, sending it tumbling onto its side. And then I saw the bottle, lying innocently a few feet away. A thought, elegant in its predatory simplicity, bloomed in my mind. I trotted over, deftly scooped up the bottle in my mouth, and returned to the whimpering nuisance. Ignoring its cries, I pushed the bottle's tip firmly against its mouth. The sweet, sweet sound of that whirring motor filled the air, and its eyes slid shut. Silence. Blissful, profound silence. I had discovered its secret. This wasn't a friend or a toy. It was a puzzle. A device whose sole purpose, as far as I was concerned, was to be mastered. I was no longer a spectator; I was the operator. This pathetic creature wasn't worthy of my play, but it was, I decided, worthy of my control. It could stay.
