Pete's Expert Summary
My human seems to have acquired a miniature, plastic version of their own species, apparently for celebratory purposes. This "Barbie Birthday Wishes Doll" is, from what I can gather, an effigy meant to be looked at, not played with. It resides in a cardboard prison, which is frankly the most appealing part of the entire package. The doll itself is a symphony of uselessness—hard plastic limbs, synthetic hair that would be unpleasant to groom, and a gaudy pink dress. I will concede, the satiny fabric of its attire might offer a moment of satisfying claw-snagging, and the tiny, dangling earrings present a tempting target for a precision swat. However, its "collectible" nature suggests it is destined for a high shelf, making it little more than a colorful piece of dust-gathering clutter, and a complete waste of my tactical energy.
Key Features
- Make a wish upon a doll! This beautiful Barbie Birthday Wishes doll is an enchanting toy for a loved one on their special day.
- Barbie wears a satiny, pink underskirt, with a blooming print of flowers layered over her bodice -- The beautiful bow across her shoulders makes her the perfect present!
- Her drop silver earrings pop against her pinned-back, wavy brown hair, while her strappy pink heels complement her perfectly polished birthday ensemble.
- Special occasion box not only features a sweet birthday wish from Barbie, but also customizable space to write a note to the recipient!
- Explore the entire Barbie collection for more collectible dolls. Each sold separately, subject to availability.
A Tale from Pete the Cat
The box arrived under the guise of a "special delivery." My human cooed as she opened it, revealing the silent occupant. It was a homunculus, a tiny woman trapped in a plastic-fronted cell, smiling a vacant, painted smile. She called it "Barbie." I identified it immediately for what it was: a spy. My human placed it on the coffee table, a clear challenge to my authority in this domain, and left the room. The game, as they say, was afoot. I approached with the practiced silence of a seasoned predator, my gray tuxedo a blur against the rug. I circled the subject, my tail giving a slow, deliberate twitch. Its wavy brown hair was too perfect, its posture too rigid. Its weapon, a disarmingly cheerful pink dress, was adorned with a floral print—obvious camouflage. "So," I murmured, my voice a low rumble barely audible to the human ear, "they sent a new one." I gave the plastic window a soft *thump* with my paw. No reaction. This one was a professional. My first move was to test its defenses. I leapt onto the table, landing with a soft thud that didn't so much as rattle its silver earrings. I leaned in close, sniffing. A faint scent of polymer and… optimism. Disgusting. My interrogation began. I batted gently at the large bow on its shoulder. "A bit conspicuous for an agent of stealth, wouldn't you say?" I asked, hooking a single claw into the fabric. The material felt cheap, but the dangling ribbon was a clear vulnerability. It was a rookie mistake, something to be exploited later. The final test was its composure. With a flick of my head, I nudged the doll, still in its box, toward the edge of the table. It slid, inch by excruciating inch, its painted-on smile never faltering. It was unnervingly stoic. Just as it teetered on the precipice, my human scurried back in, yelping "Pete, you menace! She's a collectible!" and rescued the operative from its certain doom. She placed it on the highest bookshelf, a prison for my prisoner. I had my answer. The doll was not a toy. It was an idol, a fragile god for the humans to worship from afar. It held no value for me, offering no chase, no struggle, no satisfying unraveling. I stretched, yawned, and claimed the empty shipping box it came in—a far superior prize. Let the silent spy watch over her dusty kingdom; I had a new fortress to nap in.
