A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Dolls Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Lead Review · From: BABESIDE
Avant-Garde Napping Furniture Arrives in Pink Pajamas
Our critic dismisses the creepy vinyl face and birth certificate but grants the soft cloth torso high marks as an afternoon bolster.

My human has, in her infinite and baffling wisdom, procured a small, silent homunculus. This "BABESIDE Baby Doll" is a 17-inch simulacrum of a human-larva, complete with an unnervingly pleasant expression and a soft, plush body. I suppose the intention is to provide the small human with a non-shedding, non-complaining practice creature. From my superior van…

Continued on the story page →
Image of BABESIDE Baby Dolls, 17inch Large Realistic Cute Soft Body Baby Doll Real Life Baby Dolls with Accessories for 3+ Year Old Girls Gifts, Pretend Play, Collection
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★☆☆
Claimed its soul; kept the cushion.
More From The Desk
Image of Barbie Fashionistas Doll #234 with Brown Hair, Wearing Sequined Purple Bubble Dress with Satiny Skirt, Silvery Necklace and Heels
Barbie
Sequined Seer Foretells Treats With Remarkable Accuracy

My human has presented me with what appears to be a miniature, non-functional effigy of their species. It's called a "Barbie," apparently, and this o…

★★★★☆
Image of JC Toys La Baby Caucasian Baby Doll Set – 11 Inch Soft Baby Doll | Washable |Removable Pink Outfit w/ Hat & Blanket | For Children 12 Months +
JC Toys
Deep-Cover Operative Repurposed as Tactical Napping Asset

So, my Human has procured what appears to be a small, silent, and frankly underdressed homunculus. This "La Baby" doll from a company called JC Toys …

★★★☆☆
Image of JC Toys Twins 13" Realistic Soft Body Baby Dolls Berenguer Boutique | Twins Gift Set with Removable Outfits and Accessories | Pink and Blue | Caucasian | Ages 2+
JC Toys
False Idols Exposed, Then Retained as Pre-Warmed Real Estate

My Human, in her infinite and often baffling wisdom, has brought home a pair of miniature, unnervingly quiet versions of her own kind. Apparently, th…

★★★☆☆
Image of Lifelike Reborn Baby Dolls-20 inch Sleeping Realistic Newborn Baby Dolls, Soft Cloth Body with Feeding Toy for Kids Age 3 +
KSBD
Territorial Annexation Doubles as Unexpected Comfort

My human has brought home what appears to be a silent, non-functional, miniature human. They call it a "Lifelike Reborn Baby Doll," which is a fancy …

★★★★☆
Image of Barbie Careers Playset, Gymnastics Set with Blonde Gymnast Fashion Doll, C-Clip for Flipping Action, Balance Beam, Warm-Up Suit & Accessories
One Well-Timed Thwack Ends the Gymnast's Career

My human, in her infinite and misguided wisdom, has procured what appears to be a plastic effigy of a biped in disturbingly sparkly attire, accompani…

★★★★☆
Image of Barbie Fashionistas Doll #222, Petite Body Type with Blonde Wavy Hair, Golden Jumpsuit & Accessories, 65th Anniversary Collectible Toy
Vinyl Bag Outshines Anniversary Doll by Wide Margin

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has presented me with what they call a "Barbie." It appears to be a small, stiff, plastic eff…

★★★☆☆
Image of Barbie Skipper Babysitters Inc Playset with Doll, Stroller, Baby Doll & 5 Accessories, Remove Stroller Seat for Carrier
Tiny Squatter Evicted; Purple Carrier Promptly Claimed

My human has presented me with what appears to be a miniature child-rearing simulation kit. From my analysis, it consists of a lanky plastic hominid,…

★★★☆☆
Other Desks In This Section
⬆ Up a level
About Pete Printed daily, ignored nightly Privacy Policy