Pete's Expert Summary
My human has presented me with what appears to be a large, plastic idol painted in rather loud shades of red and blue. They call it "Optimus Prime," a name far too grand for a hollow construct that smells of a factory. Its supposed master feature is its ability to contort from a bipedal shape into a wheeled brick in six disappointingly simple steps. Frankly, its sheer size is its only redeeming quality, offering a substantial target to be shoved from a high surface. The transformation itself is a process requiring thumbs, making it a spectacle I must endure rather than an activity I can partake in. Ultimately, I suspect this "toy" will prove to be a stationary, oversized dust collector, a monument to my human's fleeting whims rather than a worthy challenger for my attention.
Key Features
- EXPERIENCE THE CLASSIC CONVERSION PLAY OF TRANSFORMERS TOYS: Transformers toys that change from robot to vehicle have captivated kids for generations.
- 2 TOYS IN 1: This toy robot changes into the signature red and blue Optimus Prime toy truck in 6 simple steps. Easy conversion for kids 6 years old and up.
- FAVORITE TRANSFORMERS CHARACTER: Transformers follows the story of the heroic Autobots, who fight to protect all life, and the evil Decepticons, who seek to conquer the universe. This timeless 11-inch Cyber Commander Series figure depicts Optimus Prime, legendary leader of the Autobots--essential when starting a Transformers toy collection.
- IMAGINE EXCITING BATTLES: Collect other 11-inch Cyber Commander Series Transformers figures so kids can imagine their own Autobot vs. Decepticon battles (Each sold separately. Subject to availability).
- MAKES A GREAT GIFT: This classic Optimus Prime action figure makes the perfect birthday or holiday gift.
A Tale from Pete the Cat
The new thing was an affront to the tasteful decor of my living room. It stood there on the oriental rug, a silent, rigid sentinel of poor taste. My human called it a gift, but I recognized it for what it was: a test. I circled the Red and Blue Golem warily, my tuxedo-patterned chest held low to the ground. It stood nearly a foot tall, a giant in my world, yet it was unnervingly still. I gave its plastic foot a tentative sniff. Nothing. No scent of prey, no musk of a rival. It smelled only of sterile packaging and forgotten warehouses. I narrowed my eyes. This was not a living thing, but it occupied the space of one. My human, clearly misinterpreting my cautious analysis as confusion, knelt down and committed an act of grotesque violence upon the Golem. With a series of sharp cracks and sickening snaps, they began to fold it in on itself. A leg became a fender. Arms were swallowed into its torso. Its head vanished into a cavity with a final, hollow *click*. I flattened my ears, my tail twitching in alarm. This was not play; this was a forced, mechanical contortion, a violation of all physical laws. The Golem didn't scream or struggle; it simply submitted to its own horrifying reconfiguration. When the ordeal was over, the towering figure was gone, replaced by a cumbersome, wheeled block. The human beamed, pushing it an inch forward. "See, Pete? A truck!" A truck. How pedestrian. I approached the new form with renewed skepticism. It was less imposing, certainly, but also profoundly less interesting. It was just a lump. I gave one of the stiff wheels a swat with my paw. It barely moved. Pathetic. There was no thrill of the chase, no unpredictable wobble, no satisfying skitter across the hardwood. It was inert, a soulless brick. I was about to dismiss it entirely, to turn my back and find a sunbeam more deserving of my presence, when I noticed the flat plane of its roof. It was just the right height. With a languid, effortless leap, I landed atop it. The plastic was cool beneath my paws. From this new vantage point, I had a perfect, elevated view of the entire room—the doorway to the kitchen, the sacred sofa, the window overlooking the bird feeder. This was not a toy. It was not a friend or foe. I settled into a loaf, resting my chin on the front of the cab and beginning a low, rumbling purr. The Red and Blue Golem, in its most boring form, had revealed its one true purpose. It was a throne. A cheap, undignified throne, perhaps, but a throne all the same. It would be permitted to remain.
