A photo of Pete the cat

Pete's Toy Box: Saddle

Airhead Sun Comfort Saddle, Sapphire, 32" x 16" x 1.25" (AHSC-036)

By: AIRHEAD

Pete's Expert Summary

So, the human has procured a "Sun Comfort Saddle" from a brand unironically named "AIRHEAD." A fitting match. From what I can gather, this is a large, flat rectangle of sapphire-blue foam, designed for humans to bob around foolishly in that giant, chlorinated water bowl they call a "pool." For me, its appeal is entirely terrestrial. The closed-cell foam construction means it won't get soggy if a stray beverage is spilled upon it (a frequent occurrence in this household), and more importantly, it won't absorb the scent of the dog. It’s too big to be a proper toy, but its firm, smooth surface presents a tantalizing opportunity for an extended, luxurious nap in a sunbeam, far from the undignified splashing it was designed for. It might be a worthy platform for afternoon meditation, but only if it remains impeccably dry.

Key Features

  • POOL and LAKE FLOAT – stay cool riding the water with the Airhead Comfort Saddle, you’ll love the in-water immersion floating sensation
  • DURABILITY – years of enjoyment with the Comfort Saddle’s closed cell foam technology that won’t absorb water, crack, chip, peel or tear and remains comfortable next to skin
  • ECOCELL – made from ecocell foam, a long-lasting, luxurious foam that is environmentally friendly and 100% PVC free with no harmful off-gassing or oils touching your skin
  • CALM WATER FLOAT – perfect for the pool or lake. Measures 32” x 16” x 1.25 inches and comes equipped with an easy carry handle
  • FAMILY FUN SINCE 1991 – The Airhead Sports Group is a family of watersports, wintersports, and leisure brands focused on creating quality fun promoting products. Our brands encourage kids and adults to get outdoors, be active, and, most importantly have FUN

A Tale from Pete the Cat

It arrived in a box far too large for any reasonable purpose, and from it, the human extracted a slab of the most exquisite, deep blue. It wasn't a bed, not precisely. It was a dais. A platform. A Royal Barge. They called it a "saddle," and I, Lord Pete, decided I would indeed ride it—not upon some beast of burden, but upon the golden waves of a sunbeam. I claimed it immediately, leaping atop its surface. The foam, this "Ecocell," was magnificent. It yielded ever so slightly under my paws, a firm yet forgiving texture perfect for a preparatory biscuit-making session before settling in. The subtle handle on the side was a minor imperfection, a handle for the staff, no doubt. For two glorious days, the Sapphire Barge was my throne, positioned perfectly in the living room where I could receive adoration and supervise household activities from a comfortable distance. The betrayal came on the third day. The Airhead, my human, approached with that look of misguided purpose. Instead of presenting a tribute of treats or a ceremonial chin scratch, they grasped the staff-handle and lifted *my* throne. I was unceremoniously tipped onto the rug, a deep affront to my dignity. I watched, my tail twitching with fury, as they carried my beautiful blue dais out the sliding glass door. My initial thought was that they were merely moving my court to the patio, a reasonable, if presumptuous, change of venue. But my horror grew as they continued, walking toward the shimmering, chemical-scented abyss. The Pool. They couldn't. They wouldn't. With a casual toss that bespoke a profound ignorance of fine furnishings, the human flung my barge into the water. It landed with a soft splash, bobbing obscenely on the surface. Then, the ultimate desecration: the human climbed onto it, straddling it like a common waterlogged log, splashing and laughing. They had taken my throne, my perfect, dry, sun-warmed platform of serenity, and turned it into a cheap aquatic amusement. I sat by the glass, a deposed king, observing the sacrilege and plotting my revenge. The barge would eventually dry, and when it did, it would require a thorough re-scenting and a lengthy session of disapproving glares to restore its honor.
Image of Airhead Sun Comfort Saddle, Sapphire, 32" x 16" x 1.25" (AHSC-036) View Details

Breyer Traditional Cimarron Western Pleasure Saddle (1:9 Scale), 6.5"L x 7.875"H H

By: Breyer

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has presented me with what appears to be a miniature leather-like contraption from a brand called Breyer, which, as I understand it, specializes in creating disturbingly lifelike but entirely stationary effigies of large, hay-eating beasts. This "Cimarron Western Pleasure Saddle" is, therefore, a toy for a toy. The sheer absurdity of this concept is almost enough to make me miss a nap. It boasts embossed skirts and a tiny, patterned blanket. While the blanket might serve as a passable coaster for my cream saucer, the saddle itself is too small, too hard, and utterly devoid of feathers, strings, or catnip. It seems destined to be an ornate piece of clutter I will be forced to navigate around or, more likely, knock to the floor out of sheer principle.

Key Features

  • Saddle up for your next western adventure with Breyer!
  • The Cimarron western pleasure saddle is beautifully adorned, and has embossed skirts
  • Also comes with a diamond-patterned saddle blanket to complete the look!
  • This saddle is 1: 9 in scale, and is made to fit Breyer traditional series horses
  • Breyer traditional accessories are authentically-styled for realistic play. Horse and western show bridle not included.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The box arrived, as they always do, with a whisper of cardboard and distant warehouses. I, of course, claimed the box immediately, but my human seemed far more interested in the paltry contents. She extracted this... this thing. A tiny, rigid seat, intricately tooled and smelling faintly of plastic ambition. She held it out to me, wiggling it with an expression of hopeful ignorance I have come to associate with her worst ideas. I gave it a cursory sniff, my nose twitching in disdain. It was not prey. It was not food. It was an ornament. And worse, she then turned and placed it, along with its little diamond-patterned napkin, upon the back of The Silent One—the glossy, lifeless horse statue that has lorded over the bookshelf for years, its painted eyes staring into a future it will never reach. For a day, I observed the scene from my velvet perch. The human would occasionally adjust the saddle, murmuring about "authenticity" and "scale." What a ridiculous game. The Silent One was no more prepared for a "western adventure" than I was for a voluntary bath. The saddle was a monument to futility, a gilded cage for a plastic prisoner. I felt a pang of something akin to pity, or perhaps it was just indigestion. The whole affair was deeply pathetic. Then, one evening, as a sliver of moonlight cut across the living room, a new understanding dawned. I crept from my cushion, my gray paws silent on the hardwood floor. I leaped onto the bookshelf, a shadow in the dim light. I was not there to bat at the toy. I was there to perform a rescue. This was not a saddle; it was a shackle. A symbol of servitude. With a delicate, calculated nudge of my nose, I pushed the Cimarron saddle from the horse's back. It tumbled to the thick rug below with a soft, unsatisfying thud. The little blanket followed, a flag of liberation. I looked at The Silent One, now bare-backed and, in my mind, free. I had not destroyed a toy; I had staged a jailbreak. I had freed a fellow creature from the tyranny of my human's misplaced fantasies. The saddle itself was, and remains, a useless piece of tack. But as a catalyst for a dramatic narrative of freedom in which I am the clever, silent hero? For that, it is a masterpiece. I will, of course, have to knock it off the shelf every time she puts it back. My work is never done.
Image of Breyer Traditional Cimarron Western Pleasure Saddle (1:9 Scale), 6.5"L x 7.875"H H View Details

Breyer Traditional Devon Hunt Seat Saddle Horse Toy Accessory

By: Breyer

Pete's Expert Summary

So, the Human has placed this... thing... before me. It's a miniature leather-esque chair, apparently for a miniature horse. They call it a "Devon Hunt Seat Saddle" from a brand named Breyer, which I'm told is known for its craftsmanship. I'll admit, the stitching and tiny buckles are quite detailed for something so utterly useless to a being of my superior stature and species. While the small, dangly bits might offer a moment's diversion for a bored paw, the overall concept is a profound waste of resources. It's designed for a silent, unmoving plastic herbivore, not a majestic predator who prefers his toys to either fight back or be filled with high-grade catnip. I fail to see how strapping this to a toy could possibly be more entertaining than a nap in a sunbeam.

Key Features

  • This saddle is perfect for hacking on the trail or jumping a course!
  • A hunt seat saddle is made for close contact English riding and jumping.
  • This saddle fits Breyer traditional (1: 9 scale) horses.
  • Add a Breyer traditional horse and rider to make your own adventure!
  • Breyer accessories are authentically-styled for the ultimate play experience!

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The Human left it on the oriental rug, an absurdly small and formal object against the swirling patterns of red and blue. It sat there like an unanswered question. I approached with the dignity befitting my station, my white paws silent on the plush fibers. It smelled faintly of plastic and the Human's misplaced enthusiasm. A hunt seat saddle, they'd cooed. For jumping. I gave it a cursory sniff. Nothing. I extended a single, perfect claw and gently hooked a stirrup. It swung with a disappointing lack of momentum. This, I concluded, was a failure. I turned to leave, to find a more suitable patch of sunlight for my afternoon ablutions, but a strange impulse made me look back. The late afternoon light caught the saddle in just a way that it seemed to glow with a faint, bronze aura. Curiosity, that most vexing of my instincts, took hold. I padded back and, instead of batting it, I rested my chin delicately upon the tiny, smooth seat. It was cool against my fur. I closed my eyes, intending only a moment of contemplative disdain. And then, the world dissolved. The scent of dust motes and floor polish was swept away by the smell of damp earth and crushed clover. I was no longer in the living room. I was immense, powerful, a titan of gray fur and muscle, standing at the edge of a vast field of green. Before me stretched not furniture, but a course of towering hedges and brightly painted fences. A strange, primal energy surged through me—a desire not to hunt, but to *fly*. A phantom weight settled on my back, a silent partner in this bizarre dream, and a command that was not a sound but a feeling urged me forward. My powerful legs, impossibly long, bunched beneath me and I soared, clearing a massive oak log with an effortless grace I had never known. The wind whistled past my ears, a glorious, thunderous roar. I landed back in reality with a soft jolt, my chin still resting on the Breyer saddle. My heart was thumping with a phantom thrill. The living room was quiet and still, just as I had left it. The tiny saddle was, once again, just a toy. But I knew its secret now. It was not an object to be batted or chewed. It was a vessel, a tiny key to a world of impossible leaps and silent, glorious victory. I gave it a slow blink of approval. The Human could keep their plastic horse; the saddle, and the dreams it held, were mine.
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2 Pack Pool Saddle Floats for Adults, Soft Foam Water Saddle Lake Floats,Non Inflatable Foam Pool Float, Soft Water Floats, Pool Seats & Chair for Swimming Pool Accessories

By: PJT

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has acquired what appears to be a pair of oversized, brightly colored foam slabs from a brand I've never heard of, "PJT." They are intended for the Great Wet Peril, the 'pool,' designed to cradle a human's rump while they bob about aimlessly. While the water-centric application is utterly appalling, the material itself—a dense, non-inflatable EVA foam—piques my interest. It lacks the satisfyingly destructive potential of an inflatable, but its "ergonomic saddle" shape and "non-slip texture" suggest it could be a superb, albeit unconventional, napping perch or scratching surface should it be carelessly left on the sun-warmed patio. A potential upgrade to my lounging real estate, provided it stays dry.

Key Features

  • 【Durable EVA Pool Saddle Float – Built to Last】Crafted with ultra-thick, marine-grade EVA foam, our adult pool float is unmatched durability. Unlike cheap inflatables float, this non-inflatable pool float features reinforced seams and tear-resistant edges. UV-resistant material prevents fading under sun exposure, making it ideal for lake floats or backyard pool lounging. Measuring 31.1”x15.3”x1.2”, it supports up to 300 lbs while staying buoyant and stable.
  • 【Ergonomic Saddle Design for Ultimate Comfort】Upgrade your water relaxation with our pool saddle floats for adults! The contoured seat mimics a premium boat seat, offering ergonomic support for hips and lower back. The widened leg area allows natural leg positioning – no cramped thighs or awkward postures. Soft yet supportive foam molds to your body, whether you’re sipping drinks in the pool or anchored as underwater pool stools.
  • 【Stable & Safe Floating Experience】 Safety meets fun with our lake mats for floating! The non-slip textured base grips surfaces, preventing slips when climbing on/off. Low-profile design (1.2” thick) keeps you close to the water for effortless stability, even first-time users. Use it as boat accessories for fishing trips, pool accessories for parties, or solo relaxation. Unlike bulky inflatables, it won’t flip over – ideal for seniors or cautious swimmers.
  • 【Versatile for All Water Adventures】 From backyard pools to rugged lakes, this foam pool float adult adapts to any scene! Its lightweight build (under 4 lbs) lets you carry it effortlessly as lake floats for adults or boat seats. Use it for yoga, sunbathing on lake mats, or as a portable dock seat. Pair two for couple lounging or share one as pool stools for underwater chats.
  • 【Effortless Setup & Premium Value】 Skip the hassle of pumps – our foam pool floats adult are ready to use in seconds! The 2-pack offers unbeatable value: keep one at home and stash another in your boat or RV. Compact size fits car trunks or storage bins, perfect for spontaneous trips. An essential upgrade over inflatable water floats for adults, it’s a crowd-pleaser for gifts. Join thousands who’ve ditched flimsy floats for this #1 durable pool accessory!

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The human, bless her simple heart, had left one of the blue artifacts on the warm flagstones after her latest dip. It lay there, an alien monolith baking in the afternoon sun. I approached with caution, my tail giving a low, skeptical twitch. It wasn't one of those flimsy, air-filled sacs that pop with such delightful finality. This was solid. I gave it a tentative pat. The foam yielded slightly under my paw, a firm but forgiving surface. Its shape was a gentle, inviting curve, a saddle meant for a giant, clumsy biped. But to my eye, it looked like a throne. I leaped aboard. The texture was, as advertised, non-slip, a fine grain that gripped my paws securely. The warmth of the sun had soaked deep into its core, creating a perfect, self-heating bed. I settled into the deepest part of the curve, the "ergonomic" design cradling my form with an unexpected perfection. I began to knead, my claws sinking into the dense foam with a satisfying resistance, leaving tiny, orderly perforations. This was quality material. As I drifted into a sun-drenched slumber, the world began to feel… different. The scent of chlorine faded, replaced by the salty tang of an ancient sea. My throne was no longer on the patio; it was a raft, my personal vessel, navigating the vast, shimmering expanse of the living room carpet. The rug’s fibers became treacherous currents, the legs of the coffee table were towering sea stacks I had to expertly navigate. I was an explorer, Captain Pete, on a voyage to the uncharted territory beneath the Forbidden Couch. The foam saddle was my steadfast ship, the *U.S.S. Indulgence*. Its stability was legendary; not once did it threaten to capsize, even as I leaned precariously over the side to peer into the shadowy depths where lost kick-mice and rogue bottle caps dwelled. A shadow fell over my vessel. It was the human, looming like some benevolent, land-based leviathan. She cooed something about me being cute. I ignored her, of course, deep in my maritime fantasy. She did not understand the gravity of my mission. This PJT brand foam saddle was more than a toy for her aquatic frolicking. It was a ship, a throne, a mobile fortress of solitude. When she eventually carried it back toward the pool, I watched it go with a newfound respect. She could borrow my ship for her little floating sessions, but I had claimed its soul. It had proven itself worthy. And its twin, currently stashed in the garage, would soon become my permanent royal dais in the sunroom. The conquest was complete.
Image of 2 Pack Pool Saddle Floats for Adults, Soft Foam Water Saddle Lake Floats,Non Inflatable Foam Pool Float, Soft Water Floats, Pool Seats & Chair for Swimming Pool Accessories View Details

4 Pcs Foam Water Saddle Water Solid Saddle Floats, Foam Swimming Pool Saddle Soft Pool Seat for Swimming Supplies (Blue, Yellow, Green and Orange, 31.5 x 15.7 x 1.3 inch)

By: BeapTcely

Pete's Expert Summary

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has presented me with these items from a manufacturer named "BeapTcely," which sounds less like a brand and more like the sound one makes when trying to dislodge a hairball. The product appears to be a set of four brightly colored foam rectangles. Their primary purpose, I gather, is to be sullied in that great, chlorinated water bowl in the backyard, allowing a human to bob about like a piece of witless flotsam. While the promise of "soft foam" might momentarily pique my interest for a potential napping surface, its designated proximity to water renders it utterly contemptible. Its one saving grace might be its secondary function as a "seat cushion" by the pool, but I suspect its synthetic texture would be an insult to my luxurious gray fur.

Key Features

  • What You Will Receive: the package comes with 4 pieces of Water saddle float, available in blue, yellow, green and orange color, 1 pieces per color, bright and eye catching, easy for you to find, and you can choose one color that suits your personality and taste
  • Stable and Lasting: made of quality XPE material, the soft foam pool seat has higher density and buoyancy, soft and flexible, hard to break or teal, reliable to serve you for a long period
  • Proper Size: the water solid saddle floats is measured about 31.5 x 15.7 x 1.3 inch, appropriate size for swimmers; And smaller kids can hold the handles for more comfortable swimming in the water
  • Enjoy Your Swimming Fun: the foam swimming pool saddle is slim in the middle part, just put your legs through the slim part of the water saddle and relax with your friends or family at the pool or lake
  • Durable Pool Seats: the foam floating seat for pool is suitable for all sizes of adults and children weighing up to 220 pounds, applicable for pool or lake. They can also be used as seat cushions by the pool when not in use in water

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The box arrived, as they always do, with a thud of profound insignificance. My human, however, handled it with the sort of reverence usually reserved for a fresh tin of tuna, which immediately put me on high alert. From within, they pulled four impossibly flat, garishly colored objects. They laid them out on the lawn like offerings to some forgotten, tasteless god: a violent blue, an acidic green, a feverish yellow, and an offensively cheerful orange. I watched from my throne on the velvet armchair, my tail giving a slow, judgmental thump-thump-thump against the cushion. They were too uniform to be organic, too bright to be anything of quality. They were a mystery, an enigma of poor taste. My mind, a far superior instrument to the one my human possesses, began to churn. These were not toys. They were not beds. I concluded they must be geographical survey markers for an alien invasion. Each color represented a different quadrant of the yard designated for a specific, horrifying purpose. The blue marker, placed perilously close to the pool, obviously designated the future site of a hydration-based interrogation facility. The green one, on the grass, marked the landing zone for the invaders' vile, chlorophyll-sucking vegetation. The yellow and orange were clearly for the command tents, one for strategic planning and the other, I assumed, for morale-boosting activities, which are always offensively loud. With the gravity of the situation weighing upon me, I watched as my human, the unwitting collaborator, picked up the blue marker and carried it toward the water. This was it. The signal. I braced myself for the sky to crack open, for the mothership to descend. But then, the human did something even more baffling than summoning extraterrestrial conquerors. They straddled the foam rectangle and flopped into the water with it. There was no invasion. There was no signal. They just... floated. They paddled their feet with the intellectual vigor of a sea cucumber, a blissful, empty look on their face. The truth crashed down upon me with the force of a dropped encyclopedia. These weren't alien artifacts. They were flotation devices. Their sole purpose was to enable a fully grown biped to drift aimlessly in a body of water it could easily stand up in. The sheer pointlessness of it all was staggering. My elaborate, intelligent theory dissolved into a puddle of mundane reality. Disgusted by this spectacular display of inanity, I turned my back on the whole pathetic scene. The alien invasion would have been far more interesting.
Image of 4 Pcs Foam Water Saddle Water Solid Saddle Floats, Foam Swimming Pool Saddle Soft Pool Seat for Swimming Supplies (Blue, Yellow, Green and Orange, 31.5 x 15.7 x 1.3 inch) View Details

O'Brien Foam Water Saddle, Pink ,Large

By: O'Brien

Pete's Expert Summary

My human, in a display of breathtaking ignorance regarding my species, has acquired a device from a brand named O'Brien, apparently famous for things that go on water. It is a large, U-shaped slab of what they call "5-ply Poly foam" in a particularly insipid shade of pink. They call it a "Water Saddle," with the clear and horrifying implication that one is meant to straddle it in a large, wet place like a pool or lake. As I am a distinguished gentleman with a pristine tuxedo coat, the entire concept is anathema to me. Its only potential saving grace is that, being made of foam and not requiring inflation, it might serve as a modernist, if garishly colored, lounging throne here on the dry, sensible land. Otherwise, it's a complete waste of resources.

Key Features

  • 5-ply Poly foam material
  • Does not need inflating or deflating
  • Dries quickly for storage
  • Great way to cool off in the pool, lake, or ocean

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The thing arrived not in a box, but bound in plastic like a captured beast. My human unwrapped it with a triumphant grunt, placing the bright pink monstrosity in the middle of the living room floor. It smelled of synthetics and shattered dreams. "For the pool, Pete!" the human chirped, as if this were a gift and not a threat. I flicked my tail in profound disappointment and retired to a sunbeam to contemplate the sheer foolishness of it all. For two days it sat there, an unwelcome guest, an altar to aquatic absurdity. On the third night, a storm rolled in. Rain lashed against the windows and thunder rattled the very bones of the house. The power flickered and died, plunging the world into a deep, velvety darkness punctuated by flashes of brilliant lightning. In one of those flashes, the pink saddle was illuminated, and it was no longer just a piece of foam. In the strange, electric air, it looked like a ship—a strange, crescent-shaped vessel waiting for a captain. My usual nap spots felt mundane, inadequate for such a dramatic evening. I approached the saddle cautiously. Leaping aboard, I found the poly-foam deck cool and surprisingly firm beneath my paws. As another clap of thunder shook the house, I imagined I was not in the living room, but the captain of the *Pink Peril*, navigating the treacherous straits between the Sofa Archipelago and the Coffee Table Reef. The flashing lightning was cannon fire from a rival pirate ship. The howling wind was the cry of a great sea monster I was bravely sailing toward. I was Commodore Pete, my gray and white coat a symbol of naval authority, my paws steady on the helm as my vessel pitched and rolled with the phantom waves of the storm. I sailed through the night, a silent, courageous mariner on a vast, dark sea. When the sun finally rose and the power returned, the human found me curled in the curve of the saddle, asleep. It is an abject failure as a water toy, but as a dream-ship for a seasoned captain on a stormy night? It will suffice.
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WOW Sports - Water Saddle For Adults - Holds 300 LBS - Strong Foam Support - Poolside Seat Cussions - 21" x 20" x 2.4"

By: WOW Sports

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has presented me with a large, offensively blue slab of foam they call a "Water Saddle." Honestly, the audacity. A saddle implies a noble steed and a grand adventure, not a flimsy flotation device for the giant, chemically-treated puddle in the backyard they call a "pool." The brand, "WOW Sports," sounds terribly loud and suggests an amount of exertion I find vulgar. While the "soft closed cell foam" might offer a uniquely cool surface for a brief lounge, its ultimate destiny is to become waterlogged and abandoned. It seems less like a toy and more like a bizarre, flat boat for a single, undignified human, a complete waste of perfectly good napping material.

Key Features

  • 1 person 300ibs. 136Kg. Maximum capacity
  • Beach bronco saddle float
  • Soft closed cell foam
  • Great for the pool, lake or river
  • Dimensions: 21"L x 20"W x 2.4"H

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The artifact arrived without the customary fanfare of a cardboard box. My human, The Provider, simply walked in holding it—a stark, blue rectangle that seemed to absorb the light in the room. It smelled sterile, of factories and distant, chlorinated oceans. She laid it upon my Persian rug, a deep offense to both aesthetics and tradition. "Look, Pete! It's a beach bronco!" she chirped, her voice full of a naive glee that grated on my nerves. A bronco? I have seen pictures of these "broncos." They are large, furry, and foolish. This was a smooth, silent monolith. I suspected it was a trap. I approached with the silent grace befitting my station, my white paws stark against the dark wood floor. This was no "toy." It was a landing pad. I had long suspected my humans were in contact with other beings, and this was clearly a beacon, a homing device for some creature that travels through aquatic dimensions. The "WOW Sports" logo was not a brand; it was a cosmic sigil. I circled it, my tail a metronome of deep suspicion. I prodded its surface with a single, extended claw. It resisted, the foam yielding with a strange, dense firmness. There was no soul to it, no life. It was just… there. Waiting. My scientific curiosity, the very trait that makes me a superior being, took over. I needed to understand its properties before the aliens arrived. I carefully lowered my hindquarters onto the blue expanse. It was shockingly cool, a stark contrast to the sun-warmed spots I usually favor. The surface wasn't soft in a comforting way, but it was smooth and oddly supportive. I sat, a small, gray-and-white king on a bizarre, azure throne, and contemplated its existence. Perhaps it wasn't a beacon, but a meditation mat, designed to cool the body and focus the mind on the intricate patterns of galactic conquest. My brief reassessment was cut short when The Provider scooped up the mat and moved toward the glass portal to the Outside. I watched in horror as she slid the door open and tossed the blue slab into the Great Wet Place. It bobbed on the surface, a lonely island of poor taste. So that was its purpose. A sacrificial offering to the water gods. What a pathetic, undignified end for an object that could have served as a perfectly adequate, if aesthetically challenged, cooling station for my naps. It is utterly unworthy of my attention now, tainted by chlorine and common purpose. Let the humans have their foolish water games. I have a sunbeam that requires my immediate supervision.
Image of WOW Sports - Water Saddle For Adults - Holds 300 LBS - Strong Foam Support - Poolside Seat Cussions - 21" x 20" x 2.4" View Details

TRC Recreation Lazy Bunz Foam Water Saddle Pool Float for Adults and Kids, Lounger for Swimming Pool, Lake, River, and Beach Essentials, Bahama Blue

By: TRC Recreation

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has procured a "Lazy Bunz Foam Water Saddle," a name that is both an insult and an aspiration. From my extensive research conducted between naps, I deduce this is a large, flat, blue plank of foam designed for the absurd human ritual of bobbing about in that giant, chemically-treated water bowl they call a pool. The vinyl coating suggests a certain resilience, which could be intriguing for a brief claw-sharpening session, and its "Lazy" descriptor resonates with my core values. However, its primary function involves the Wet Menace, making it fundamentally flawed. Its only hope for redemption is if it remains beached on the patio, where its foam construction might offer a passably comfortable, if somewhat plebeian, napping surface in a sunbeam.

Key Features

  • Foam Floating Saddle: Vacation essential to get comfy straddling or sitting on this pool lounger pad while enjoying the summer in the swimming pool, beach, lake, or river
  • Comfortable Material: Foam water mat constructed from high-quality, closed-cell foam with a seat-like design to ensure adults and kids keep comfortably upright on the chair float without the need to tread water
  • Enhanced Flotation Device: Pool float lounge chair coated in vinyl to protect from damage from the sun, chlorine, or saltwater for long-lasting use of pool toys
  • Easy to Carry: Pool float with handles built on both sides allows for effortless transportation to and from the water with no inflation needed
  • Easy Clean: Floating foam pads easily cleaned with soap and water and lays flat for convenient storage during the off-season; Dimensions (L x W x H): 36 x 18 x 1.25 inches; Made in the USA

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The campaign began at noon. My human, the one I refer to as The Feeder, emerged onto the patio carrying a slab of alarming "Bahama Blue" under one arm. It was an affront to the natural tones of the terracotta tiles and the dignified green of the potted ferns. He laid it down—not just anywhere, but directly in the Prime Meridian of Sun, the one patch of golden warmth I had spent the entire morning tracking. An act of war. I observed this new enemy, this "Cerulean Anomaly," from the safety of the sliding glass door, my tail twitching like a metronome of indignation. It did nothing. It simply lay there, insolently absorbing the very solar radiation that was mine by divine right. For an hour, a silent standoff ensued. I surveyed its features from afar. It had handles, like some grotesque luggage for a journey I wanted no part of. The surface had a slight sheen, a vinyl skin that smelled faintly of the factory it was born in and the pool it was destined for. The Feeder called it "Lazy Bunz," a clear mockery of my own sophisticated lifestyle of strategic repose. This could not stand. My territory, my sun, my very philosophy of leisure was being challenged by a piece of glorified packing material. My advance was a study in stealth. I moved low to the ground, a gray-and-white shadow against the stone, making no sound. I reached the edge of the blue expanse and extended a single, cautious paw. The surface was warm—surprisingly, invitingly warm. It had captured the sun's energy and held it captive. A slow, deep purr, the engine of my tactical mind, began to rumble in my chest. This was not an enemy combatant; it was a resource to be seized. With a fluid leap, I mounted the platform. The foam yielded ever so slightly beneath my weight, a perfect combination of support and comfort. I settled in the center, a monarch claiming his new throne. I stretched luxuriously, my claws extending for a brief, satisfying test against the vinyl. It held. Excellent. The Feeder chuckled from the doorway, misinterpreting my conquest as a charming quirk. Let him. He did not understand the geopolitical implications of what had just transpired. This Blue Slab, this tool of his bizarre aquatic hobby, had been officially annexed. It was no longer a pool float; it was my Royal Solar-Charging Dais, a worthy and strategically valuable addition to my domain.
Image of TRC Recreation Lazy Bunz Foam Water Saddle Pool Float for Adults and Kids, Lounger for Swimming Pool, Lake, River, and Beach Essentials, Bahama Blue View Details

AIRHEAD - Cove Saddle Personal Floatation Device - Blue

By: AIRHEAD

Pete's Expert Summary

My human, bless their simple, opposable-thumbed heart, seems to have acquired this object under the mistaken impression that I, a creature of refined taste and an aversion to anything wetter than my own tongue, would enjoy "cooling off in a pool." This "AIRHEAD Cove Saddle," as the giant calls it, is a large, bright blue slab of polyester clearly designed for bobbing about in that horrifying outdoor basin of chemical water. Its alleged features—a supportive backrest and durable shell—are utterly wasted on its intended purpose. However, its generous dimensions and potential as a high-quality, land-based lounging platform have not escaped my notice. While a catastrophic failure as a feline aquatic device, it may yet prove to be a serviceable, if garishly colored, daybed.

Key Features

  • Flotation saddle for cooling off in pools or lakes
  • Comfortable supportive backrest
  • Durable, soft 200-denier polyester shell
  • Lightweight poly-e flotation inside
  • Dimensions: 39" x 15" x 1.75" (flat)

A Tale from Pete the Cat

It appeared one afternoon not in a box, but unfurled, a stark blue anomaly on the living room floor. The Keeper placed it there with an expectant look, as if presenting a ceremonial offering. I observed from my perch on the armchair, tail twitching in academic assessment. It was a craft, a vessel, but not for the cursed waters the human babbled on about. No, this was clearly a transport for a different medium entirely: the vast, shimmering expanse of a sunbeam. I descended with the deliberate grace of a monarch inspecting new territory. The polyester shell, advertised as "durable," gave off a faint, intriguing crinkle as my paw pressed against it—the sound of unexplored terrain. I circled it twice, a ritualistic orbit to gauge its energy. The "supportive backrest" rose up like a small, gentle wave, a promise of propped-up dignity. This was no mere floatie. This was a throne designed for solar observation, a divan for deep contemplation of the dust motes dancing in the light. With a final, decisive sniff, I claimed it. I stepped aboard, my paws sinking slightly into the forgiving poly-e flotation within. I turned a circle, kneaded the surface with a low rumble of approval, and settled my distinguished gray-and-white form against the backrest. It was perfect. The angle was ideal for maintaining a regal posture while appearing effortlessly relaxed. The world looked different from here, more manageable, more... mine. The human made a soft cooing sound, no doubt awestruck by my immediate grasp of the object's true and noble purpose. Let the airheads have their lakes and pools. They can bob and splash in their primitive fashion. I have what matters. I have my Sun-Throne, my royal blue barge for navigating the warm, golden currents that flow across the hardwood floors. It has been deemed worthy, not for the reasons its creators intended, but for the far superior ones I have ordained.
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