A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Saddle Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Breyer
One Chin-Rest Launches a Dream of Impossible Flight
★★★★☆
PJT
Captain Pete Navigates the U.S.S. Indulgence to Victory
★★★★☆
BeapTcely
Elaborate Alien Theory Collapses into Soggy Boredom
★☆☆☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: AIRHEAD
Two Perfect Days, Then the Pool Claims My Throne
Pete reigns over the sapphire barge for two days of sunbeam-warmed bliss, only to watch the human toss it into the chlorinated abyss — and begins plotting re-scenting once it dries.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

So, the human has procured a "Sun Comfort Saddle" from a brand unironically named "AIRHEAD." A fitting match. From what I can gather, this is a large, flat rectangle of sapphire-blue foam, designed for humans to bob around foolishly in that giant, chlorinated water bowl they call a "pool." For me, its appeal is entirely terrestrial. The closed-cell foam con…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Airhead Sun Comfort Saddle, Sapphire, 32" x 16" x 1.25" (AHSC-036)
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★☆☆☆
Mine by right; stolen by pool.
From The Desk
Image of Breyer Traditional Cimarron Western Pleasure Saddle (1:9 Scale), 6.5"L x 7.875"H H
Breyer
One Nudge Sets the Plastic Prisoner Free

My human has presented me with what appears to be a miniature leather-like contraption from a brand called Breyer, which, as I understand it, specializes in creating disturbingly …

★★☆☆☆ — Useless as toy; sublime as liberation prop.
More From The Desk
Image of O'Brien Foam Water Saddle, Pink ,Large
O'Brien
Commodore Pete Sails the Pink Peril Through a Storm

My human, in a display of breathtaking ignorance regarding my species, has acquired a device from a brand named O'Brien, apparently famous for things…

★★★☆☆
Image of WOW Sports - Water Saddle For Adults - Holds 300 LBS - Strong Foam Support - Poolside Seat Cussions - 21" x 20" x 2.4"
WOW Sports
Cosmic Sigil Theory Ends in Chlorinated Ignominy

My human has presented me with a large, offensively blue slab of foam they call a "Water Saddle." Honestly, the audacity. A saddle implies a noble st…

★☆☆☆☆
Image of TRC Recreation Lazy Bunz Foam Water Saddle Pool Float for Adults and Kids, Lounger for Swimming Pool, Lake, River, and Beach Essentials, Bahama Blue
TRC Recreation
Prime Sunbeam Disputed, Occupied, and Formally Annexed

My human has procured a "Lazy Bunz Foam Water Saddle," a name that is both an insult and an aspiration. From my extensive research conducted between …

★★★★☆
Image of AIRHEAD - Cove Saddle Personal Floatation Device - Blue
AIRHEAD
Backrest Confirms This Is Clearly a Sun-Throne

My human, bless their simple, opposable-thumbed heart, seems to have acquired this object under the mistaken impression that I, a creature of refined…

★★★★☆
Image of O'Brien Foam Water Saddle, USA ,Large
One Ostentatious Leap; Aquatic Career Cancelled

So, the Human has acquired what they call a "Water Saddle," a garishly colored slab of foam designed for the absurd purpose of floating aimlessly in …

★★★★☆
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