Pete's Expert Summary
My human, bless their simple, opposable-thumbed heart, seems to have acquired this object under the mistaken impression that I, a creature of refined taste and an aversion to anything wetter than my own tongue, would enjoy "cooling off in a pool." This "AIRHEAD Cove Saddle," as the giant calls it, is a large, bright blue slab of polyester clearly designed for bobbing about in that horrifying outdoor basin of chemical water. Its alleged features—a supportive backrest and durable shell—are utterly wasted on its intended purpose. However, its generous dimensions and potential as a high-quality, land-based lounging platform have not escaped my notice. While a catastrophic failure as a feline aquatic device, it may yet prove to be a serviceable, if garishly colored, daybed.
Key Features
- Flotation saddle for cooling off in pools or lakes
- Comfortable supportive backrest
- Durable, soft 200-denier polyester shell
- Lightweight poly-e flotation inside
- Dimensions: 39" x 15" x 1.75" (flat)
A Tale from Pete the Cat
It appeared one afternoon not in a box, but unfurled, a stark blue anomaly on the living room floor. The Keeper placed it there with an expectant look, as if presenting a ceremonial offering. I observed from my perch on the armchair, tail twitching in academic assessment. It was a craft, a vessel, but not for the cursed waters the human babbled on about. No, this was clearly a transport for a different medium entirely: the vast, shimmering expanse of a sunbeam. I descended with the deliberate grace of a monarch inspecting new territory. The polyester shell, advertised as "durable," gave off a faint, intriguing crinkle as my paw pressed against it—the sound of unexplored terrain. I circled it twice, a ritualistic orbit to gauge its energy. The "supportive backrest" rose up like a small, gentle wave, a promise of propped-up dignity. This was no mere floatie. This was a throne designed for solar observation, a divan for deep contemplation of the dust motes dancing in the light. With a final, decisive sniff, I claimed it. I stepped aboard, my paws sinking slightly into the forgiving poly-e flotation within. I turned a circle, kneaded the surface with a low rumble of approval, and settled my distinguished gray-and-white form against the backrest. It was perfect. The angle was ideal for maintaining a regal posture while appearing effortlessly relaxed. The world looked different from here, more manageable, more... mine. The human made a soft cooing sound, no doubt awestruck by my immediate grasp of the object's true and noble purpose. Let the airheads have their lakes and pools. They can bob and splash in their primitive fashion. I have what matters. I have my Sun-Throne, my royal blue barge for navigating the warm, golden currents that flow across the hardwood floors. It has been deemed worthy, not for the reasons its creators intended, but for the far superior ones I have ordained.
