A photo of Pete the cat

Pete's Toy Box: Lock

Scooter Lock,Electric Scooter Locks Anti Theft,Electric Scooter Lock with Silicone Scratch Protection,Including One Portable 3L Storage Bag

By: furein

Pete's Expert Summary

So, my Human has brought home yet another piece of baffling equipment for their terrifying outdoor wheeled contraption. It appears to be a heavy, rubber-coated metal chain and a curious black pouch. They call it a "scooter lock." From what I can gather through their incessant cooing about "security" and "anti-theft," this is designed to keep their metal beast from being pilfered by other, less-endowed humans. The chain itself, while long and vaguely snake-like, seems far too heavy for any satisfying pouncing. The only redeeming feature might be this "3L Storage Bag," which, if emptied of the Human's mundane trinkets, could potentially serve as a compact, hard-shelled napping pod. Otherwise, it's a monumentally boring and utilitarian object.

Key Features

  • 【High Quality Materials】Made for electric scooter, solves the problem that conventional locks do not work with electric scooters, lock for e-scooter is made of full alloy steel, hardened by heat treatment, is therefore extremely resistant to cuts and shocks.This e-scooter lock provides reliable theft protection for your electric scooter. It can be used for electric scooters, strollers, bicycles, electric scooters, motorcycles and weed killers, etc.
  • 【Thickness and elongated chain】 The length of the chain part is 60 cm to 23.6 inch, the total length including the bike locks is 91 cm to 35.8 inch, the chain diameter is 0.8cm to 0.31 inch, effectively resist damage by hydraulic scissors, safe and durable
  • 【Rubber lock sleeve design】Since the e roller lock is made of alloy steel, even if the corners are ground, it can scratch your mobility tools, so that the rubber lock sleeve is specially designed,E scooter lock with soft silicon for effective corrosion protection and protection,Reduces noise
  • 【Electric Scooter Storage Bag】Made of waterproof PU material, the cold formed EVA plastic hard shell is shatterproof and pressure resistant, so that your valuable items will not be damaged. Due to its capacity of 3-litre, it can handle wallets, phones, keys, etc. The easily removable design makes this scooter bag super easy to use and also frees up the handlebars of your electric bike for other purposes
  • 【Handle handle lock for a variety of applications】E Scooter lock is perfect for electric scooters, electric bikes, bicycles, ladders, strollers, motorcycles, fences and much more. Basically, there is no restriction to the user environment.which is not only functional, but also visually appealing.
  • 【Excellent service】 We value the quality of our products and provide excellent service, including free replacement or refund. Do not hesitate to contact us if you have any problems with your purchase

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The thing arrived in a box that promised nothing and delivered less. When the Human pulled it out, a heavy, black-sheathed chain slithered onto the floor with a dull, uninspiring *thump*. It lay there, an inert metal serpent, smelling faintly of a factory and defeated joy. The Human dangled it in front of their "scooter," babbling about "hardened alloy steel" and "hydraulic scissors," concepts as alien and uninteresting to me as the vacuum cleaner. I flicked an ear in disgust and turned my back, feigning a sudden, intense interest in a sunbeam. Later, after the Human had finished their ritual of admiration and left the room, I decided to grant the object a formal inspection. I padded over to the chain, my paws silent on the wood floor. The silicone coating was smooth and cool, but offered no give, no satisfying texture for my claws. I gave it a tentative pat. It didn't skitter or jingle; it just shifted its weight with the grim finality of an anchor. A profound sense of ennui washed over me. Was this what the world had come to? Heavy, silent, unplayable lumps of metal? My ancestors hunted vipers in the reeds; I was being presented with a rubber-coated paperweight. Just as I was preparing to register my official complaint via a pointed scratch on the nearest chair leg, my gaze fell upon the accessory. The storage bag. It sat apart from the chain, a black, hard-shelled little cave. The Human had left the zipper slightly ajar. A sliver of darkness beckoned. Curiosity, that most base and powerful of instincts, took hold. I crept towards it, sniffing the waterproof PU material. It had a clean, sterile scent, a blank canvas. With the careful, deliberate grace of my kind, I nudged the opening wider with my nose and began the delicate process of ingress. It was a snug fit, the "shatterproof" hard shell pressing against my soft gray fur in a way that was surprisingly reassuring. I folded myself into its dark, pressure-resistant interior, my white tuxedo-front vanishing into the void. The world outside muted, the Human's distant clatter muffled. They could keep their vulgar chain and their wheeled monstrosity. I had conquered this "scooter bag." It was no feather wand, but as a personal, portable fortress of solitude, it would suffice. For now.
Image of Scooter Lock,Electric Scooter Locks Anti Theft,Electric Scooter Lock with Silicone Scratch Protection,Including One Portable 3L Storage Bag View Details

Kryptonite New York FAHGETTABOUDIT 1410 Bike Chain Lock, 3.28 Feet Long 14mm Steel Chain Heavy Duty Anti-Theft Bicycle Chain Lock with Keys, 10/10 Security Rating for E-Bike, Motorcycle, Scooter

By: Kryptonite

Pete's Expert Summary

My human, in their infinite and often baffling wisdom, has procured what appears to be an anchor for a small battleship. They call it a "bike lock," but at over fifteen pounds of hardened manganese steel, I call it a ridiculous and immobile lump of metal. This "Kryptonite New York FAHGETTABOUDIT" is supposedly a toy, but it possesses zero playability. Its six-sided links are too thick for a satisfying claw-sharpening session, and its sheer mass prevents any sort of batting, chasing, or pouncing. The only redeeming qualities might be the crinkly nylon cover and the set of three keys, one of which glows. While the potential for a new light-dot to chase is intriguing, the main apparatus is an insult to my dynamic lifestyle—a complete and utter waste of floor space that could be better used for napping.

Key Features

  • The ultimate chain lock for high theft areas
  • 14 Millimetre six-sided hexagonal chain links made of triple heat-treated boron manganese for the ultimate strength in a chain
  • Narrow inner width of individual links defends against leverage attacks
  • Includes maximum security New York disc lock with 15 mm ovalised hardened steel shackle
  • Hardened steel sleeve over crossbar for double security. Product weight: 15.25 pounds
  • 14mm six-sided chain links made of 3t hardened manganese steel for ultimate strength
  • Durable, protective nylon cover with hook-n-loop fasteners to hold in place
  • Includes maximum security New York Disc Lock with 15mm MAX-Performance steel shackle
  • Patented*, oval hardened steel crossbar for extra security
  • Hardened double deadbolt locking for extensive holding power
  • High security disc-style cylinder with reinforced anti-drill, anti-pull protection system
  • Sliding dustcover protects and extends cylinder life
  • 3 stainless steel keys – one lighted with high intensity bulb and replaceable battery
  • Key Safe Program

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The thing arrived with a floor-shaking *thud* that jolted me from a perfectly good sunbeam slumber. The Staff grunted, dragging a heavy box into the living room. My ears swiveled, my tail giving a low, suspicious twitch. Out of the box came a monstrous, coiled black serpent with a head of dull orange metal. It lay there, dense and menacing. I crept closer, my nose twitching, catching the scent of cold steel and something industrial. The human muttered the name aloud, a string of harsh, threatening syllables: "Kryptonite... Fahgettaboudit." The words hung in the air like a curse. I knew then this was no mere object. It was a containment device. For days, I observed it. My Staff would occasionally lift the massive chain, their arms straining, and I imagined they were testing the bonds of some terrible entity trapped within its hexagonal links. I heard them reading from a scroll—or perhaps a user manual—muttering phrases like "ultimate strength," "hardened double deadbolt," and "anti-pull protection system." Clearly, they were preparing for the arrival of, or perhaps the escape of, a formidable foe. I patrolled the perimeter of the chain, my gray tuxedo a stark contrast to its dark, imposing form, feeling the heavy responsibility of a guardian. I was the warden of this strange, silent prison. The moment of truth came when The Staff picked up a small ring holding three stainless steel keys. One of them, I noted with a jolt, held a tiny bulb that could be made to glow with an intense light. The key to the cage. The trigger. My body went taut. Was this it? Was the beast to be unleashed? I watched, breathless, as my human carried the chain and its glowing key out the door. I leaped to the windowsill to witness the final confrontation. And then I saw it. They didn't unleash a monster. They wrapped the chain... around the back wheel of their noisy, two-wheeled metal steed. It was a lock. A ludicrously oversized, dramatic, and self-important lock for a simple machine. All my theories of cosmic horror and epic battles dissolved into a puff of profound disappointment. The ultimate strength wasn't for containing a demon from the Ninth Circle, but for deterring a common street vandal. What a monumental waste of a good narrative. I turned away from the window, disgusted. The only thing this device had successfully imprisoned was my imagination.
Image of Kryptonite New York FAHGETTABOUDIT 1410 Bike Chain Lock, 3.28 Feet Long 14mm Steel Chain Heavy Duty Anti-Theft Bicycle Chain Lock with Keys, 10/10 Security Rating for E-Bike, Motorcycle, Scooter View Details

Mezelon Electric Scooter Lock, 8mm Chain Lock Bike Locks Heavy Duty Anti Theft with 3 Keys for E-Bike/Electric Scooters

By: Mezelon

Pete's Expert Summary

My human, in a fit of what I can only assume is profound misunderstanding of my needs, has presented me with this... contraption. It's a Mezelon Electric Scooter Lock, a ludicrously heavy chain of 8mm steel wrapped in a soft, black silicone sheath. Its purpose is clearly to tether their loud, wheeled escape vehicle, not to entertain a creature of my refined sensibilities. The weight—nearly three and a half pounds—is mildly impressive, and the smooth coating means it won't snag my immaculate fur, a rare bit of foresight. However, its primary function seems to be lying inert on the floor. While its potential as a high-end paperweight or a doorstop is undeniable, as a "toy," it is a categorical failure and a waste of a perfectly good sunbeam.

Key Features

  • Anti - theft and cut - resistant：The Mezelon electric scooter lock is made of high quality steel and is therefore extremely resistant to cuts and bumps. The robust construction ensures maximum protection for your valuables
  • A thicker 8mm lock-Multifunctional : The chain of the scooter lock is thickened to 8mm (0.31 inch), and the locking ring is approximately 2.95 inches wide. It weighs about 3.43 pounds, providing enhanced anti - theft performance. It can rotate 360 degrees to adapt to different situations, offering a larger locking space. Suitable for various items, including electric scooters, bicycles, motorcycles, and weed trimmer, strollers and so on
  • Unique lock design: The Mezelon lock unique design combines ease of unlocking and secure locking, blending practicality with aesthetics. It also protects your valuables from scratches and damage thanks to its soft silicone coating, and provides grip when in use for better access and ease of carrying
  • Easy to use: This scooter lock is easy to use, you can use the included key to lock and unlock your items quickly and easily. The humanized design ensures smooth use
  • ABOUT US- Mezelon was born to optimize electric scooters, focusing on electric scooter locks and chargers. Choose Mezelon and make your scooter journey easier

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The case landed on my floor with a heavy, definitive thud. My human called it a "Mezelon lock," but I knew a suspect when I saw one. It lay there coiled, a silent, black serpent of steel and silicone, guarding its secrets. The air smelled of cold metal and the faint, sterile scent of its coating. This was no common ball of yarn or feathered simpleton on a stick. This was serious business. My job, as the sole detective in this jurisdiction, was to figure out its angle. I began my preliminary investigation, circling the subject at a safe distance. It was heavy, immovable. The 8mm chain was its muscle, no doubt about it, resistant to interrogation by tooth or claw. The human had left the "keys" on the coffee table—three slivers of metal, a trio of potential accomplices. I leaped onto the table to examine them. They were cold, silent, offering no clues. Back on the floor, I gave the coiled chain a tentative pat with my paw. It answered with a dull, low *clunk*. This one was a professional, tight-lipped and uncooperative. My human, the ever-meddling informant, decided to intervene. They picked up a key and approached the suspect. With a precise twist and a sharp *click*, the lock's jaw sprung open. The chain uncoiled, its full, formidable length revealed. And in that moment, I understood. Its purpose wasn't to engage with me. Its purpose was to restrain the true villain of the household: the electric scooter. That shrieking, two-wheeled menace that steals my human away for hours on end. My final verdict? The Mezelon lock is no toy, and it's no enemy. It is a necessary evil, a heavy-duty enforcer brought in to keep a greater nuisance in check. It's a professional doing a dirty job, and for that, it has my grudging respect. I won't play with it—that would be unprofessional. But as I curl up for a nap and see it tethering that scooter to the balcony railing, I'll give it a slow blink of approval. It’s a silent, competent guardian of my peace and quiet. Case closed.
Image of Mezelon Electric Scooter Lock, 8mm Chain Lock Bike Locks Heavy Duty Anti Theft with 3 Keys for E-Bike/Electric Scooters View Details

Electric Scooter Locks Anti Theft，Bike Chain Lock with Bag，Best Lock for Electric Scooter Xiaomi Segway Accessories

By: LEFELWEL

Pete's Expert Summary

Ah, another offering for my consideration. My human presents this... thing... from a brand called LEFELWEL. It appears to be a heavy, metallic restraint system, a "scooter lock," designed to prevent the theft of those wheeled abominations humans ride. From my perspective, its appeal is minimal. It's made of cold, hard steel, which is dreadful for batting and even worse for chewing. It has no feathers, no crinkle, and certainly no catnip. The chain is long, like a terrible, inflexible snake, and the handcuff design is frankly a bit strange. The only redeeming feature might be the little bag it comes in; bags are, of course, prime real estate for a quick nap. Otherwise, this is a clanking monument to human paranoia and a complete waste of funds that could have been allocated to a new cashmere throw for my napping throne.

Key Features

  • [MULTI-PURPOSE USE]: The scooter locks anti theft is suitable for a variety of usage scenarios, including electric scooters, bicycles, and e-bikes, etc. You can use the same handcuff chain lock to protect different types of vehicles, providing convenience and security.
  • [Cut resistant & Durability] This scooter lock made of full alloy steel with nine hardened swivel links. The electric scooter lock is cut resistant thanks to the A3 steel.
  • [Versatile application] The electric scooter locks heavy duty anti theft are suitable for xiaomi ,niu ,razor and segway ninebot electric scooter ,bicycle and motorcycle lock accessories
  • [Longer & Thicker Scooter Lock]: The total length of the chain lock is 94cm,the length of the chain part is 61cm, and the chain diameter is 7mm.This electric scooter lock is longer and thicker, providing a larger locking space and greater versatility.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The new object arrived not with a playful rustle, but with a dull, heavy thud as the human dropped its box onto the floor. I opened one eye from my position on the velvet ottoman, intrigued. A new box is always a harbinger of possibilities. But when the cardboard was rent asunder, my hopes turned to ash. Out came a coil of dark metal, clanking with the sound of a dungeon. It was a LEFELWEL chain lock, a name that sounded as grim and industrial as the object itself. The human dangled it before me, a gesture I found deeply insulting. Was I supposed to be impressed by this crude shackle? That evening, a strange ritual unfolded. The human wheeled their noisy, two-wheeled "scooter" into the hallway—a gross violation of indoor-outdoor protocol—and proceeded to bind it to the leg of the heavy console table. The lock clicked shut with a sharp, final sound. The human gave the chain a confident tug and then left, satisfied. I watched from the shadows, my tail a slow, metronomic whip of disdain. They saw a security device. I saw an injustice. That console table, a noble piece of furniture I occasionally use for sharpening my claws on the back, was now chained to a vulgar piece of outdoor machinery. This would not stand. Under the ethereal glow of the moonlight filtering through the bay window, I began my operation. My mission was not to play, but to liberate. I approached the chain, sniffing its metallic, sterile scent. It was thick, far thicker than the cord on the window blinds I'd so expertly dismantled last spring. I nudged the handcuff-like clasp with my nose. It was cold and unyielding. I hooked a claw into the keyhole, attempting to mimic the lock-picking scenes from the human’s spy films. The lock, however, was unimpressed by my efforts. This was no cheap trinket; it was A3 steel, a material with a defiant, stubborn soul. After several minutes of fruitless probing and batting, I sat back on my haunches, defeated but enlightened. This lock was not a toy. It was not a puzzle. It was a warden. And as I sat there in the silent hall, I realized something. The scooter was not going anywhere. There would be no sudden, jarring 7 a.m. departures that disturbed my slumber. The machine was neutralized, imprisoned by this silent, steely sentinel. My mission of liberation was a failure, but the outcome… the outcome was peace. The LEFELWEL lock, while utterly devoid of play value, was an unwitting ally in my quest for a quiet, predictable existence. It wasn't worthy of my attention as a toy, but as a guardian of my morning nap, it had earned a modicum of my respect.
Image of Electric Scooter Locks Anti Theft，Bike Chain Lock with Bag，Best Lock for Electric Scooter Xiaomi Segway Accessories View Details

Kryptonite Laminated Steel Key Bike Padlock, Heavy-Duty 44mm Security Lock for Bicycles, Door, Gate, Fence

By: Kryptonite

Pete's Expert Summary

My human, in a moment of questionable judgment, has presented me with this heavy, cold chunk of laminated steel. They call it a "Kryptonite" lock, and its purpose is apparently to secure bicycles or other such crude human contraptions from being absconded with. From my perspective, it is a dense, metallic paperweight with no feathers, no strings, and no discernible crinkle. It is, however, impressively solid and possesses a certain industrial gravitas. The small, jangly keys might offer a fleeting moment of diversion, but the main body is an inert lump of security, far better suited for holding down a stack of papers in a strong breeze than for stimulating the refined predatory instincts of a superior feline. A profound waste of my valuable napping time.

Key Features

  • Laminated steel padlock with PLATED STEEL BODY
  • DOUBLE DEADBOLT locking mechanism for increase strength
  • HARDENED STEEL SHACKLE
  • Product dimensions: 1 ¾” (44mm) padlock body
  • Product weight: 0.60 lbs (0.27 kgs)
  • Laminated steel padlock with plated steel body
  • Double deadbolt locking mechanism for increase strength
  • Hardened steel shackle

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The Tall One called it "The Vault." It arrived not in a crinkly bag or a cardboard box ripe for sitting, but in stiff plastic that required the use of forbidden shiny things. He placed it on the floor with a heavy, final *thunk*. It was cold to the whisker, a block of layered steel that absorbed the warmth of the sunbeam I had been occupying. I circled it, my tuxedo bib held high with aristocratic disdain. It was an affront, a dense, silent intruder in my domain. It had no scent of bird or mouse, only the sterile tang of metal and machine oil. My initial prodding with a soft paw was met with an unyielding, immovable reality. This was not a toy; it was a challenge. That evening, I saw its true purpose. The Tall One opened the forbidden pantry door, retrieved the sacred glass jar—the one containing the Celestial Spheres of Freeze-Dried Salmon—and, to my horror, threaded the Vault's hardened shackle through the cupboard handles. A sharp *click-clack* echoed in the kitchen, a sound of absolute finality. My salmon was now imprisoned within a fortress guarded by a double deadbolt of pure injustice. This was no longer a matter of play; it was a matter of principle. For two days, I waged a silent war against the Kryptonite Vault. I became a creature of shadow and strategy. I tried nudging it, hoping to find a resonant frequency that might vibrate it open. I attempted to hook a claw into the keyhole, a delicate operation that yielded nothing but a blunted nail. I even tried the direct approach, pushing all of my considerable, well-fed weight against it, but it sat there, impassive and smug. It did not rattle. It did not yield. It simply held, a miniature Gibraltar of the pantry. It was, I had to admit, a masterpiece of security, a worthy and infuriating adversary. On the third day, the Tall One returned, jingling the tiny, insignificant keys. With a simple twist, the Vault surrendered its grip, the shackle sliding free with an oiled sigh of defeat. I watched, not with triumph, but with a newfound understanding. The Vault's power was not in its steel, but in its secret. My quest was over. I had been outwitted not by the lock, but by the concept of the key. I gave the formidable object a slow, respectful blink. It was not a toy, no. It was a guardian. Having acknowledged its quality, I turned and leaped onto the sofa, the salmon momentarily forgotten. The sunbeam was returning, and a nap of strategic contemplation was in order.
Image of Kryptonite Laminated Steel Key Bike Padlock, Heavy-Duty 44mm Security Lock for Bicycles, Door, Gate, Fence View Details

Kryptonite New York FAHGETTABOUDIT 1415 Bike Chain Lock, 3.25 Feet Long 14mm Steel Chain 15 Pounds Heavy Duty Anti-Theft Bicycle Lock with Keys, 10/10 Security Rating for E-Bike E-Scooter Motorcycle

By: Kryptonite

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has dragged in what appears to be a section of anchor chain from a battleship, thinly disguised in a nylon sleeve. They call it a "bike lock," specifically the "FAHGETTABOUDIT," which is an appropriately aggressive name for such a brutish object. Weighing more than I do, this 15-pound behemoth of hardened manganese steel is the antithesis of play. Its purpose is to be heavy, unyielding, and utterly immobile. While the nylon cover might offer a decent surface for a cheek-rub, and the jingle of the massive keys provides a moment's auditory interest, its sheer, stationary existence is an insult to the very concept of a "toy." It's less of a plaything and more of a permanent, trip-hazard art installation dedicated to the concept of "no."

Key Features

  • 14mm six-sided chain links made of 3t HARDENED MANGANESE STEEL for ultimate strength
  • Durable, protective nylon cover with hook-n-loop fasteners to hold in place
  • Includes maximum security New York Disc Lock with 15mm MAX-PERFORMANCE STEEL SHACKLE
  • Patented*, oval hardened STEEL CROSSBAR for extra security
  • Hardened DOUBLE DEADBOLT locking for extensive holding power. Product weight: 15.25 pounds

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The intrusion began not with a rustle, but with a *thud*. It was a sound of such profound finality that it vibrated through the floorboards and disturbed the delicate atomic structure of my sunbeam nap. I opened one green eye. The human was grunting, wrestling a coiled, black-and-yellow creature onto the floor. It settled with a heavy sigh of clanking metal, a sound that spoke of grim purpose. This was no feather wand. This was an invader. I rose, my gray tuxedo fur bristling slightly, and began the ritual of confrontation. I circled the beast from a safe distance. It lay there, coiled and arrogant in its sheer mass. It smelled of the city, of cold steel and faint machine oil—an industrial pollutant in my pristine, climate-controlled kingdom. The name emblazoned on its yellow head read "Kryptonite." A fitting moniker for a creature of such dense, unfeeling power. I extended a cautious paw, my claws sheathed, and gave it a test pat. My paw bounced off the taut nylon sheath with a dull, unsatisfying *thump*. The creature did not stir. It was a challenge of passive aggression, the likes of which I had never before encountered. This would not stand. For days, the beast—the "Fahgettaboudit," as the human kept calling it—became my obsession. I was the great hunter, the apex predator of this apartment, and it was the immovable mountain. I nudged it with my head. It scraped the hardwood, earning me a sharp rebuke from the human, but it barely shifted. I tried to insinuate a paw into its steel links, searching for a weak point, but the 14mm six-sided chain was a fortress of geometric perfection. I even attacked the small hook-and-loop fasteners on its nylon skin, hoping to peel it away and expose a vulnerability, but my efforts were met with stubborn resistance. This thing wasn't just locked; its very being was a state of being locked. Then, one afternoon, I saw the human attach it to their ridiculous two-wheeled rolling machine. The heavy shackle clicked shut with the finality of a judge's gavel. In that moment, I understood. This creature wasn't here to play with me. It was not a rival for affection or a puzzle to be solved. It was a guardian. A silent, absurdly heavy sentinel whose entire existence was a declaration of "Thou Shalt Not Pass." It was, in its own way, perfect at its job. It was boring, it was heavy, it was completely useless to me. And yet, I couldn't help but respect its absolute, unyielding commitment to its singular purpose. I gave it a slow blink of grudging approval and went to find a patch of sun it wasn't currently occupying. Some things, I suppose, you just have to fahgettaboudit.
Image of Kryptonite New York FAHGETTABOUDIT 1415 Bike Chain Lock, 3.25 Feet Long 14mm Steel Chain 15 Pounds Heavy Duty Anti-Theft Bicycle Lock with Keys, 10/10 Security Rating for E-Bike E-Scooter Motorcycle View Details

Kryptonite New York 1210 Bike Chain Lock, 3.25 Feet Long Heavy Duty Anti-Theft Sold Secure Gold Bicycle Chain Lock with Evolution Disc Lock and Keys for Ultimate Security E-Bike, Motorcycle, Scooter

By: Kryptonite

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has, in a stunning display of poor judgment, brought home what appears to be a metallic serpent skeleton wrapped in a coarse, black sheath. They call it a "Kryptonite New York Lock," which sounds appropriately dramatic for such a ponderous thing. It's allegedly for securing their noisy, two-wheeled monstrosity. From my perspective, its only redeeming qualities might be the scratchable texture of the nylon cover and the potential for the three tiny, jangly keys to be batted under the sofa. However, at nearly nine pounds, it's far too heavy to be a proper toy, making it a monumental waste of floor space that could otherwise be used for sunbathing. It's an anchor, not an amusement.

Key Features

  • HEAVY-DUTY CHAIN: Made from maximum strength 12mm 3T Hardened Manganese Steel Chain, the six-sided chain links provide ultimate cut resistance. Paired with a durable nylon cover and hook-and-loop fasteners to prevent frame damage
  • EVOLUTION SERIES 4 DISC LOCK INCLUDED: Features a 14mm max-performance steel shackle and patented oval hardened steel crossbar for ultimate anti-theft protection
  • DOUBLE DEADBOLT & HIGH-SECURITY CYLINDER: Hardened double deadbolt locking mechanism and disc-style cylinder offer strong resistance against pulling, drilling an picking
  • DURABLE DESIGN: New York 1210 chain extends up to 100cm (3.25 ft) in circumference. Heavy-duty bike lock weighs 3.92kg (8.65 lbs). Includes three keys and rated 9/10 for ultimate security on our scale.
  • SMART DETAILS FOR LONGEVITY: Includes a sliding dust cover to protect the lock cylinder and extend lock life in tough environments
  • ATPO & KEY SAFE PROGRAM ELIGIBLE: Register to qualify for Kryptonite's Anti-Theft Protection Offer and Key Safe key replacement service

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The delivery thudded against the door with a finality that spoke of great mass. My human, grunting slightly, dragged the cardboard box inside. The air, once filled with the gentle scent of my afternoon nap, now crackled with the alien aroma of cold steel and packing tape. I observed from my perch on the armchair, a sleek gray arbiter in a tuxedo, tail twitching with mild irritation. The human produced not a crinkly bag of treats, nor a feather wand, but a formidable coil of black chain and a heavy, yellow-and-black metal object. It looked like a restraint for a small, ill-tempered dragon. I descended, landing with my customary silence, and padded cautiously towards the offering. The chain lay in a heap, its sheer weight making an indentation in the rug. The "durable nylon cover" felt rough and unyielding under my paw, a far cry from the soft fleece of my preferred blankets. I gave it an experimental scratch; the fabric resisted, offering no satisfying shred. The main lock was a solid, dense block of metal. I noticed a small, sliding dust cover over the keyhole. I nudged it with my nose. It slid. I slid it back. For a brief moment, this tiny, precise movement was the most interesting thing in the room. My attention then turned to the chain itself. Surely, such a linked object was meant to be chased, to be pounced upon, to be dragged triumphantly into my lair beneath the coffee table. I hooked a single, perfect claw under a link and pulled. Nothing happened. I put my full, pampered weight into it, a maneuver that can successfully topple a half-full glass of water from a great height. The chain did not budge. It was an insult. It was an immovable, indifferent beast of a thing, completely unimpressed by my efforts. It simply lay there, a heavy, silent testament to gravity. The human jangled the three keys, then promptly pocketed them, dashing my only remaining hope for a bit of sport. I understood then. This wasn't for me. This was a shackle, a tether for the human's "e-bike." It was a piece of their loud, metallic world, a brute-force solution to a problem I couldn't be bothered to understand. I gave the lock one last, disdainful sniff. It was not a toy. It was a guardian of metal, a sentinel of the garage. While utterly useless for play, I had to admit a certain grudging respect for its absolute, unmovable authority. I turned my back on it and returned to my armchair, leaving the cold, heavy thing to its tedious, important work. My nap, after all, was far more valuable.
Image of Kryptonite New York 1210 Bike Chain Lock, 3.25 Feet Long Heavy Duty Anti-Theft Sold Secure Gold Bicycle Chain Lock with Evolution Disc Lock and Keys for Ultimate Security E-Bike, Motorcycle, Scooter View Details

JAGASOL Electric Scooter Lock, Heavy Duty Anti Theft Chain Lock with Key, Accessories for Bike, E-Bike, Bicycle, Motorcycle, Scooter, Made of Zinc Alloy, Anti-Shear, Anti-Rust, 36 x 4.6 Inch, Black

By: JAGASOL

Pete's Expert Summary

My Human has presented me with what appears to be a ridiculously heavy metal snake wrapped in a coarse, unappealing fabric. They call it a "JAGASOL Lock." Apparently, its purpose is to tether their loud, wheeled conveyance so it doesn't wander off, a concept I find absurd. It’s made of some cold, unyielding zinc alloy that promises to be impervious to my claws and probably tastes terrible. The nylon sleeve offers a subpar scratching experience at best. While the sheer weight might make it an adequate doorstop in a pinch, its primary function seems to be facilitating my Human's departure. Frankly, it's a monument to my impending solitude and a complete waste of perfectly good floor space.

Key Features

  • Safe and Durable: The scooter lock is made of zinc alloy steel, which effectively prevents cutting, and is waterproof and rust-proof. Keep our belongings safe from theft
  • Stronger and Longer Chain: The chain diameter is 0.25 inch, length is 36 inch. The lock head has three adjustable sizes, 2.95, 3.15, 3.35 inch. It is stronger, and the longer chain can be more flexible to lock the scooter
  • Rubber Cover: This scooter lock has scratch-resistant rubber wrap, so you don't have to worry about your scooter being scratched. Rubber prevents collisions and scratches, ensuring safety and making the lock doubly secure
  • Nylon Sleeve: The chain has nylon cover and it can protect the surface paint of the scooter from being damaged, and make the lock more durable
  • Strong Compatibility: This lock can be used on scooter, motorcycle, bicycle, electric bicycle, stroller. It can also be used to meet your other needs, such as lock the door, as a trailer strap
  • If you have any questions, please contact us and we will reply as soon as possible

A Tale from Pete the Cat

It arrived not in a crinkly box, but carried in the Human’s hand like some grim artifact. They placed it on the floor, where it landed with a heavy, definitive *thump*. It was a thing of shadow and substance, a coiled length of chain sheathed in black nylon, terminating in a solid, rubber-cased block. A prisoner brought before me, the magistrate of this domain. I descended from my velvet throne, my paws silent on the hardwood, my white-bibbed chest puffed with authority. This was my court, and this new object would be judged. My initial line of inquiry was tactile. I extended a paw and prodded the nylon sleeve. It was rough, unyielding, and utterly without merit for kneading. I moved to the head of the beast, the lock itself. The rubber coating was smooth but cold, absorbing the light. I gave it a tentative sniff. It smelled of the Outside, of metal and oil and the sad, damp air that exists beyond the windows. It offered no secrets, no scent of mouse or bird, only the sterile promise of security. It was a silent, stoic defendant, refusing to engage. The proceedings were growing tiresome until the Human produced a second, smaller object: the key. It glittered, a tiny metallic fish on a ring. Now *this* had potential. But before I could formulate a plan to acquire it, the Human inserted it into the lock. There was a sharp, satisfying *CLICK*, a sound of finality. The lock’s jaw opened. The Human then performed a bizarre ritual, wrapping the chain around the wheel of their scooter and clicking the lock shut again. The confession was clear: its purpose was not to entertain me, but to bind that horrid machine. I watched, my tail giving a single, slow wave of dismissal. My verdict was in. The JAGASOL lock was guilty of terminal boredom. It was not a toy, not a puzzle, not even a worthy adversary. It was a tool, a functionary, a dull metal servant to my Human's inexplicable need to roam. It would guard the scooter, and I would guard the household from the true threats: dust bunnies, rogue sunbeams, and the unforgivable emptiness of the food bowl. I turned my back on it and sauntered away. Some cases are simply beneath my station.
Image of JAGASOL Electric Scooter Lock, Heavy Duty Anti Theft Chain Lock with Key, Accessories for Bike, E-Bike, Bicycle, Motorcycle, Scooter, Made of Zinc Alloy, Anti-Shear, Anti-Rust, 36 x 4.6 Inch, Black View Details

ABUS U-Lock Granit XPlus 540, Bike Lock with XPlus Cylinder, High Protection Against Theft, ABUS Security Level 15, Black/Grey, 23 cm

By: ABUS

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has presented me with what appears to be a heavy, cold, and profoundly boring metal shackle. They call it an ABUS U-Lock, a name that sounds more like a magical incantation than a product. Its alleged purpose is to guard that ridiculous two-wheeled contraption the human uses to abandon me for hours on end. From my perspective, its "robust" and "hardened steel" construction makes it far too heavy for batting, and its primary function seems to be lying inert on the garage floor. The only points of mild interest are the small, jingling keys—one of which lights up, a pathetic attempt to mimic my true adversary, the Red Dot—and the cool surface, which might be acceptable for a brief cheek-rub on a sweltering day. Otherwise, it's an utter waste of high-quality napping real estate.

Key Features

  • Robust and pick-resistant: U-lock with ABUS XPlus cylinder to protect against tampering such as picking, lock and unlock with key
  • For maximum safety: Bicycle lock with hardened 13 mm square parabolic shackle: Housing, shackle and supporting parts of the locking mechanism are made of specially hardened steel
  • Power cell technology: The lock offers a high level of theft protection against blows and attacks
  • For high-quality bicycles and e-bikes: Granit Xplus 540/160HB230: thickness 13 mm, weight 1500 g, height 230 mm, width 108 mm, includes cover for keyhole
  • Delivery includes: 2 keys (one of which is an illuminated key), as well as code card for duplicating keys and making locks with the same key
  • Awarded the Sold Secure powered cycle gold and powered cycle diamond certificate for security products.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

It arrived not in a crinkly box, but with a solemn, heavy *thunk* on the hardwood floor that vibrated through my paws. This was no toy. This was an artifact. It was dark and matte, the color of a storm cloud, and it smelled of the cold, metallic tang of the Outside. The human called it the "Granit XPlus," a name that spoke of ancient mountains and cosmic secrets. I circled it, my tuxedo fur bristling with cautious curiosity. This object had a presence, a gravity that the feathered wands and crinkle balls simply lacked. It did not invite play; it demanded assessment. I crept closer, extending a single, sensitive whisker to probe the dark orifice they called the "XPlus Cylinder." I had heard the human mutter about it being "pick-resistant," a challenge I took personally. Was this a puzzle box left by a forgotten, more intelligent species? Its "Power Cell technology" suggested a dormant energy core, a sleeping golem waiting for the correct sequence of pressures and clicks to awaken. For a full ten minutes, I dedicated my considerable intellect to deciphering its secrets, nudging the keyhole cover and attempting to telepathically communicate with the mechanism within. It remained silent, impassive, its hardened steel a testament to its stubborn will. Then, the human returned, dangling the keys. One of them glowed with a faint, ethereal light, like a captive star. It was not a brute-force tool, but a specific, coded catalyst. The key slid into the cylinder with a whisper, and with a turn, the lock opened. It wasn't a struggle; it was a release. A deep, resonant *thwack* echoed in the quiet room—a sound of profound mechanical certainty. I realized then I was not meant to open it. I was merely a witness to its function. I watched as the human carried the sentinel outside and shackled the two-wheeled beast to a metal post. The U-Lock hugged the frame, a silent, unblinking guardian. My initial assessment was wrong. It wasn't a puzzle for me to solve or a toy for me to conquer. It was a specialist, a master of a single, boring task: waiting. It performs its duty with a stoic dignity that, I must admit, is impressive. It is not worthy of my playtime, but it is worthy of its purpose. A respectable, if profoundly dull, piece of craftsmanship. I gave it a slow blink of grudging approval before returning to my sunbeam, its singular, boring job now understood.
Image of ABUS U-Lock Granit XPlus 540, Bike Lock with XPlus Cylinder, High Protection Against Theft, ABUS Security Level 15, Black/Grey, 23 cm View Details