A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Paper Craft Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
KRAFUN
Googly Eye Liberated; Cardboard Pantheon Vanquished
★★☆☆☆
Prang
Ghost Glider Dares to Silence a Scornful Cat
★★★☆☆
Klutz
The Ritual Failed; the Stray Wire Stem Did Not
★★★☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Crayola
Four Hundred Eighty Sheets Become My Tactical Battlefield
Our critic reads the color-coded paper layout as a domestic intelligence operation against him and launches a counter-campaign of sabotage and territorial occupation.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human has acquired what appears to be an absurdly large stockpile of colorful, flat objects. She calls it "Crayola Construction Paper," and there are 480 sheets of it, a number that seems excessive for any purpose short of wallpapering my private lavatory. The packaging boasts of "heavy duty" material, which piques my interest—it suggests a certain resil…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Crayola Construction Paper - 480ct (2pck), Bulk Back to School Essentials For Kids, Teacher Classroom Must Have, Art Paper, Arts & Crafts Supplies
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★☆☆
Not for art; for espionage
From The Desk
Image of Tru-Ray Construction Paper, 10 Vibrant Colors, 9" x 12", 50 Sheets
Tru-Ray
Sturdy Paper Folds Into Prey Worth Intercepting

My human seems to believe this stack of colorful, flat objects is for "arts and crafts," a pointless endeavor that involves loud snipping sounds and sticky paws. From my superior …

★★★★☆ — Worthy substrate for my form
More From The Desk
Image of V-Opitos Arts and Crafts Kits for Kids, 12 Pack Simple Animal Paper Plate Crafts for Toddler Age of 2, 3, 4, 5 Years Old, Fun Preschool Classroom Activity Project for Boy & Girl
V-Opitos
Operation String Freedom Yields One Foam Adhesive Square

My human, in a fit of what they likely consider 'benevolence,' has acquired a kit designed to occupy the clumsy paws of small, loud humans. It appear…

★★★☆☆
Image of Creativity for Kids Paper Airplane Squadron - Create 20 Paper Airplanes, Crafts for Boys and Girls, Stocking Stuffers and Gift for Boys, Kids Activities for Ages 6-8+
Faber-Castell
The Lion Model Dared Challenge an Apex Predator

So, my human presented this flat box from "Faber-Castell," a name I associate with the quiet, tedious scribbling she does when she should be refillin…

★★★★☆
Image of Paper Flying Dragons (Klutz Activity Kit) Medium
Scholastic
Twelve Paper Dragons, One Decisive Paw-Tap Each

So, the human has brought home a... box of flat paper. Apparently, the taller, less-furry creature is supposed to perform manual labor—punching, fold…

★★★☆☆
Other Desks In This Section
⬆ Up a level
About Pete Printed daily, ignored nightly Privacy Policy