A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Dough Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Colorations
Oracle Approved: My Paw Seal Confirms the Prophecy
★★★★☆
Hygloss
Blank Canvas Survives Only as My Reluctant Medium
★★☆☆☆
Chuckle & Roar
Lopsided Effigy of Me Gets the Critic's Claw
★☆☆☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Crayola
The Orange Monolith Offers Nothing But Its Container
Our critic dismisses three pounds of safety-vest-colored dough as dead matter, reserving his approval only for the empty bucket's future napping potential.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human seems to believe our home is a preschool, based on the giant, offensively orange bucket they just introduced. This "Crayola Orange Dough," as the label proclaims, is apparently a three-pound tub of squishable, non-crumbling material for the entertainment of smaller, less refined humans. From my superior vantage point on the sofa, I can see its prim…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Crayola Orange Dough, 3 lb. Resealable Bucket, Toys for Kids, Gift
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★☆☆☆☆
The bucket, at least, has promise.
From The Desk
Image of Play Doh Modeling Compound 10-Pack Case of Assorted Colors, Non-Toxic 2 oz. Cans, Halloween Toys & Party Favors, Preschool Toys for Kids, Ages 2+ (Amazon Exclusive)
Play Doh
Ten Cans of Chaos Yield One Excellent Mystery

My human seems to believe my sophisticated palate extends to this peculiar substance they call "Play-Doh." From my vantage point on the sofa, I see a collection of ten small, plas…

★★★☆☆ — Intellectually stimulating, if nothing else.
More From The Desk
Image of Crayola 570016 Modeling Dough Bucket, 3 lbs, Assorted, 6 Buckets/Set
Crayola
Six Buckets of Pointless Yield Zero Thrills

My human seems to have acquired a bulk shipment of colorful, squishy material for the small, loud one. They call it "Modeling Dough" by Crayola. From…

★☆☆☆☆
Image of Hygloss Play Modeling Dough - 6lb. Dough Unscented - Safe & Non-Toxic for Kids Arts & Crafts - Party Favors - Classroom Supplies, 6 Assorted Colors
Hygloss
A Loose Piece Earns a Passing Grade in Kinetics

My Human has acquired a disturbingly large quantity of what appears to be inert, brightly-colored sludge. They call it "Play Modeling Dough." I see s…

★★☆☆☆
Image of Play-Doh Bulk Pack of 48 Cans, 6 Sets of 8 Modeling Compound Colors, 3oz, Back to School Gifts & Prizes for Students & Classroom, Preschool Toys for Kids, Ages 2+ (Amazon Exclusive)
Play-Doh
Forty-Eight Lids Redeem Nine Pounds of Drivel

My human has presented me with a monolith of questionable taste: a colossal box containing forty-eight cylinders of brightly colored putty. They call…

★★☆☆☆
Image of Whoa Dough Air Dry Clay Mega 12 Pack by Chuckle and Roar
Smelly Dough Redeemed by Its Star-Shaped Payload

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has presented me with what appears to be a collection of colorful, squishy lumps in plastic t…

★★★☆☆
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