A photo of Pete the cat

Pete's Toy Box: Crayola

Crayola Ultra-Clean Washable Markers, 12 Count

By: Crayola

Pete's Expert Summary

My human seems to have acquired a set of "Crayola Ultra-Clean Washable Markers." From my vantage point on the dining room chair, they appear to be twelve plastic tubes filled with offensively bright liquids, intended for the small human's crude scribblings. The key feature seems to be their "washability," a clear admission of their potential for creating catastrophic messes, which I suppose is a thoughtful, if inadequate, precaution. While their cylindrical shape suggests a certain rollability that might pique my interest should one "accidentally" fall to the floor, they are marketed for "kids," an entirely different species with which I share no common interests. Ultimately, these are tools for staining paper, not sophisticated instruments of play, and are likely a waste of my perfectly good napping and/or staring-at-the-wall time.

Key Features

  • 12 CRAYOLA MARKERS: 12 dazzling Crayola Broad Line Markers to ignite your artistry & celebrate your chromatic flair!
  • BROAD LINE MARKERS: Craft powerful expressions with bold strokes, master the art of shading and layering, and dive into a world of boundless creativity.
  • WASHABLE MARKERS: Fear stains no more! Ultra Clean Washable Markers wash easily from skin, clothes, & surfaces.
  • MARKERS FOR KIDS: Deliver endless hours of captivating creativity specifically designed for children, enhancing their coloring and crafting experiences
  • KIDS BACK TO SCHOOL SUPPLIES: Embark on an epic back-to-school journey with versatile Crayola Markers for school projects, notes, and artistic feats!
  • GIFT FOR KIDS: Spark creativity and imagination in young minds with this vibrant marker set that makes a great gift for kids.
  • SAFE & NONTOXIC: Crayola Markers are safe and nontoxic for kids ages 3 and up.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The box arrived in a flurry of activity related to the "Back to School" ritual, a grim annual affair that heralds the departure of the small human. This particular offering was a thin, garish package of plastic cylinders, which the small human immediately tore open, scattering the contents across the kitchen table like a fallen rainbow. I observed from a distance, feigning disinterest, as they uncapped a lurid green one and began defacing a pristine sheet of paper. The scent was faint, a sterile, chemical odor that did not appeal to my refined palate. My human cooed, "Aren't they bright, Pete?" I responded with a slow blink that clearly communicated my profound indifference. Hours later, long after the artistic massacre had concluded, a single marker lay abandoned on the floor. It was the red one, "Red Salsa" if the packaging was to be believed, and it had rolled to a stop near the leg of the sofa. Its cap was still on, a crucial detail. I descended from my perch on the armchair and approached with the cautious grace of a seasoned hunter. It was larger than the bottle caps I occasionally deigned to chase, with a heft that felt substantial under my paw. I gave it a tentative nudge. It didn't just roll; it skidded and tumbled, its broad, flat ends creating an unpredictable, chaotic trajectory across the hardwood. This was no mere ball. This was a challenge. I crouched low, my tail twitching, and launched myself at the crimson cylinder. My paws sent it skittering under the coffee table, where I pursued it with a ferocity I typically reserve for the red dot of doom. I hooked it with a claw, dragged it into the open, and commenced a flurry of bunny-kicks. The plastic made a most satisfying *thump-thump-thump* against the floor. The small human might see a tool for making clumsy pictures of suns with faces, but I had discovered its true purpose. It was a silent, durable sparring partner. Its washability was irrelevant; its superb playability was everything. It has earned its place on the floor, at least until it inevitably disappears into the void beneath the refrigerator.
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Crayola Twistables Colored Pencil Set for Kids (50ct), No Sharpen Coloring Book Pencils, Essential Classroom Supplies, Cute Back to School Gifts for Kids, 4+

By: Crayola

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has acquired a box of 50 colorful plastic sticks from a brand called Crayola, apparently for the benefit of the smaller, noisier human. They call them "Twistables Colored Pencils." While their intended purpose of smearing colors on dead trees is profoundly boring, their true potential lies in their bat-ability. The sheer quantity is promising for a widespread floor-skittering event, and the "twist-up" mechanism might offer a minor tactile diversion. However, the plastic casings, while preventing messy breakage, also rob me of the simple joy of snapping something in two. Ultimately, their worth depends entirely on whether they can be liberated from their box and scattered across a suitable hardwood arena for a proper game.

Key Features

  • CRAYOLA TWISTABLES COLORED PENCILS: This set includes 50 Crayola Twistable Colored Pencils, exclusively available on Amazon.
  • NO SHARPENING OR PEELING: Enjoy a hassle-free coloring experience with twist-up barrels that eliminate the need for sharpening or peeling. Simply twist and go!
  • PROTECTED COLOR CORE: The plastic barrel protects the color core, preventing breakage. Twist down to safeguard the tips when not in use.
  • PORTABLE ART SUPPLIES: Ideal for coloring, drawing, and creating on the go. These compact and durable colored pencils are perfect for travel or outdoor creativity.
  • PERFECT FOR COLORING BOOKS: These colored pencils are great for coloring books, drawing, sketching, and more, providing vibrant and consistent color.
  • ADAPTIVE TOOLS & SENSORY TOYS: Crayola adaptive art supplies cater to kids and artists with diverse needs.
  • GIFT FOR KIDS: This set makes a unique and thoughtful basket stuffer or gift for birthdays, holidays, or Easter. Safe and nontoxic, suitable for ages 4 and up.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The invasion began on a Tuesday. A flat, brown box arrived, and from its depths, my human extracted a clear plastic fortress housing fifty colorful prisoners, standing shoulder to shoulder in perfect, silent rows. They were presented to the small human with a flourish, these "Crayola Twistables," and I watched from my perch on the armchair, tail twitching in annoyance. They weren't like the old pencils, the ones that left delightful wood shavings after a session with the grinding machine. These were sleek, uniform, encased in sterile plastic. An army of silent, multi-colored droids occupying my territory. I narrowed my eyes. An investigation was required. Later, under the cloak of moonlight filtering through the blinds, I leaped onto the desk for a closer look. The case was surprisingly difficult to breach, but a persistent nudge with my head sent the entire contraption tumbling to the floor. The pencils didn't clatter; they scattered with a slick, plasticky *shush*, gliding across the hardwood like tiny, silent bobsleds. I singled one out, a vibrant magenta. It felt unnervingly smooth beneath my paw, lacking the organic texture of its wooden ancestors. I batted it. It slid an impressive distance, vanishing under the sofa with professional stealth. This was a different kind of prey. I chose another, a lime green one, and pinned it for interrogation. I sniffed its tip—nothing. No scent of cedar, just faint, waxy color. But the other end had a small, ridged knob. Intrigued, I held the pencil's body steady with one paw and delicately rotated the knob with the claws of the other. *Click-click-click.* My ears swiveled. To my astonishment, the colored point at the other end began to extend, emerging from its plastic shell like a snail from its house. Another twist, and it retracted. I had discovered its secret. These were not mere sticks; they were sophisticated instruments with retractable color-claws. I sat back on my haunches, contemplating this development. The lack of a satisfying crunch was a definite drawback, and I would miss the ritual of watching the sharpener beast devour them. Yet, there was an undeniable elegance to these Twistables. They were the secret agents of the coloring world—clean, efficient, and masters of the silent slide. They left no trace, no messy evidence for my human to fuss over. I selected a particularly bold-looking teal pencil and, with a flick of my paw, sent it on a one-way mission deep into the dark territory beneath the entertainment center. The small human could have the other forty-nine. This one was now part of my private collection. Verdict: A worthy, if somewhat soulless, addition to my arsenal of Things to Hide.
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Crayola Colored Pencils (36ct), Kids Pencil Set, Back to School Essentials, Must Have Classroom Supplies for Kids, Pre-Sharpened Coloring Book Pencils, 3+

By: Crayola

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has acquired a box of 36 slender, multi-hued rods, apparently for the noble purpose of scribbling on paper. They call them "Crayola Colored Pencils." From my superior vantage point on the desk, I see their potential not in creating "art," a concept I find dreadfully pedestrian, but in their kinetic properties. They are long, light, and perfectly designed for being systematically knocked to the floor, one by one. The claim of being "durable" and "presharpened" merely adds a layer of challenge to my rigorous testing procedures. While their intended use is a complete waste of opposable thumbs, their secondary function as high-velocity floor clutter shows some promise.

Key Features

  • 36 CRAYOLA COLORED PENCILS: Explore a spectrum of color with 36 distinct colored pencils that transform artwork into vibrant masterpieces.
  • KIDS ART SUPPLIES: Ignite your child’s artistic potential with this vibrant set of Crayola Colored Pencils. Perfect for nurturing creativity and self-expression.
  • BACK TO SCHOOL SUPPLIES: Enhance educational and creative activities with these essential kids' pencils for school.
  • IDEAL FOR COLORING BOOKS: Designed to glide smoothly across the page, these pencils bring coloring books to life.
  • CLASSROOM SUPPLIES: Stock up on bulk colored pencils for classroom activities, enhancing group projects, and making learning more colorful and fun.
  • PRESHARPENED & DURABLE: Soft cores won't break easily, and presharpened tips are ready for use right out of the box.
  • GIFT FOR KIDS: Inspire young artists to creatively express themselves with the gift of Crayola Colored Pencils.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The new arrivals came in a bright yellow transport, a rectangular box emblazoned with a garish green wave. Thirty-six of them, standing shoulder to shoulder, a silent, colorful platoon invading my territory—the mahogany desk. I watched from the leather chair as the human slid one free. It was a deep, insolent red, labeled "Scarlet." She used it to deface a perfectly good piece of paper before leaving it behind, a lone sentinel abandoned by its commander. This was my chance to conduct an interrogation. I leaped silently onto the desk, my soft gray paws making no sound. The Scarlet agent lay there, motionless, its presharpened tip glinting under the desk lamp. A weapon? I circled it, tail twitching. I extended a single claw and tapped its flank. It rolled, but offered no intelligence. I pinned it with a firm paw. "What is your purpose here?" I purred, a low rumble of authority. The pencil remained silent. It was a professional. I applied more pressure, testing the "durable core" they boasted about. It held firm, refusing to snap. This one was well-trained. Fine. If it wouldn't talk, I would make it write its confession. I nudged its sharp point against a discarded document. Nothing. I pushed harder, my nose twitching with effort, shoving the wooden cylinder across the paper. A thin, blood-red line appeared—a confession! So, its mission was to leave marks, to communicate in a crude, silent language. It wasn't a soldier, but a scribe. A boring, utterly predictable scribe. Its comrades in the box were no doubt the same. An army of scribblers. My initial assessment of a hostile takeover was incorrect. These were not threats, but tools. And tools, when left unattended on a high surface, have only one true purpose. With a flick of my paw, I sent the Scarlet agent skittering over the edge of the desk. It clattered satisfyingly on the hardwood floor below. My verdict was clear: while useless for espionage, these pencils were exquisitely designed for testing the principles of gravity. One down, thirty-five to go. This would be a productive afternoon.
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Crayola Mini Twistables Crayons for Kids (50ct), Cute School Supplies for Girls & Boys, Toddler Crayons for Coloring Books, Back to School Gifts for Kids

By: Crayola

Pete's Expert Summary

My human, in a fit of what I can only assume was misplaced creative ambition for the smaller, louder humans, has procured a plastic vessel containing fifty small, colorful sticks. These are apparently "Twistables Crayons" from the Crayola institution, a name I've heard uttered with a certain reverence. The primary selling point seems to be their lack of a paper wrapper to shred and the absence of a sharpener, which deprives me of the delightful whirring noise and the subsequent cascade of wood shavings. However, their diminutive size makes them ideal for batting under the heaviest furniture, and the core gimmick—a clicking, twisting mechanism that extends a waxy nub—shows a glimmer of potential. While the intended purpose of smearing color on paper is a baffling waste of perfectly good energy, the sheer quantity and potential for chaotic dispersal across the floor might just save this product from being utterly beneath my notice.

Key Features

  • CRAYOLA TWISTABLES CRAYON SET: This kids' coloring set includes 50 Crayola Mini Twistable Crayons, perfect for little hands to hold and use.
  • LESS MESS COLORING: Unlike traditional crayons, Crayola Twistable Crayons require no peeling or sharpening, making them a great less-mess option for coloring.
  • DURABLE AND LONG-LASTING: Made with high-quality materials, these crayons for toddlers and kids are built to last.
  • ARTS & CRAFTS SUPPLIES FOR KIDS: The less-mess design of Crayola Twistables Crayons makes them a great addition to kids' crafting supplies, encouraging creativity and fun in classrooms and at home.
  • PORTABLE AND CONVENIENT: The compact size and durable case make these crayons easy to take along, perfect for travel and creative activities on the go.
  • GIFT FOR KIDS: This crayon set makes a great birthday, holiday, or Easter gift for kids, sparking creativity and joy.
  • SAFE & NONTOXIC: Crayola Crayons are safe, nontoxic, and suitable for ages 3 and up, ensuring peace of mind for parents.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The intrusion occurred, as most do, during a particularly profound nap in a sunbeam that had been meticulously positioned for optimal warmth on my luxurious gray coat. A crinkling sound, followed by the clatter of plastic, announced the arrival of the new Thing. My human presented the clear box with a flourish, shaking it so the fifty colorful prisoners rattled against their transparent walls. I offered a slow, unimpressed blink. She then released them, a vibrant waterfall of sticks skittering across the hardwood floor. An amateurish attempt to distract me from my slumber. I began to groom a single, perfect white whisker in defiance. While the human and her smaller accomplice were busy making nonsensical marks on a sheet of paper, a rogue stick—a particularly audacious shade of cerulean—rolled near my tail. I watched it from the corner of my eye, feigning disinterest. It was a simple object, unworthy of a chase. But then, as I shifted my weight, my paw rolled over it. It emitted a soft but distinct *click-click-click*. My ears, which had been set to "ignore," swiveled to full attention. What was this? I nudged it with my nose. Another *click*. The waxy blue tip, which had been flush with its plastic shell, now protruded slightly. My nap was forgotten. This was no mere stick. This was a puzzle. I pinned the cerulean device between my paws, my pristine white bib nearly touching the floor as I examined it. The base was different from the tip. I nudged the base with a claw, and it twisted. *Click-click-click*. The blue nub extended further. I batted the base in the opposite direction. *Zzzzip*. It retracted. A wave of profound satisfaction washed over me. The fools thought this was for *drawing*. They had no concept of its true purpose. This was a finely tuned instrument of tactile and auditory pleasure, a fidget spinner for the sophisticated feline. The colors were irrelevant. The waxy texture was a secondary curiosity. The true genius was in the mechanism. I had found my new obsession. I commandeered the cerulean model and, with a few deft twists, began my private concert of clicks, a symphony only a creature of my refined sensibilities could truly appreciate. Yes, Crayola, this one is worthy. Not for the reasons you think, but worthy nonetheless.
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Crayola Crayons Bulk (24 Packs), Kids Back to School Essentials, Teacher Classroom Must Haves, Bulk School Supplies for Preschool & Kindergarten

By: Crayola

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has acquired a veritable arsenal of these waxy, cylindrical objects. They arrive in a large crate, which itself contains 24 smaller cartons, each filled with 24 of these so-called "crayons." Apparently, they are for small, chaotic humans to make colorful smudges on paper, a practice they call "art." From my perspective, they lack any inherent playability—no feathers, no crinkle, no catnip infusion. However, their sheer quantity and tendency to roll present a strategic opportunity for batting practice and testing the laws of gravity from high surfaces. The "non-toxic" label is a minor reassurance, but honestly, if I'm going to chew on something, it had better be worth the effort. These are, at best, a disposable distraction.

Key Features

  • 24 BOX CRAYON SET: Features 24 crayon boxes with 24 assorted colors in each.
  • BULK CRAYOLA CRAYONS: Ideal for large-scale projects or classrooms, offering a wide range of vibrant colors to inspire creativity and learning. Perfect for group activities and collaborative work.
  • STRONG & DURABLE: These art tools for kids are double wrapped for added durability and strength.
  • MUST HAVE CLASSROOM SUPPLIES FOR TEACHERS: Perfect for teachers to replenish preschool and kindergarten classroom supplies for back-to-school season.
  • CRAYON COLORS: The 24 colors include Apricot, Black, Blue, Bluetiful, Blue Green, Blue Violet, Brown, Carnation Pink, Cerulean, Gray, Green, Green Yellow, Indigo, Orange, Red, Red Orange, Red Violet, Scarlet, Violet, Violet Red, White, Yellow, Yellow Green, and Yellow Orange.
  • KIDS ARTS & CRAFTS: Perfect for a variety of arts and crafts projects, enhancing imaginative play and color recognition.
  • SAFE AND NONTOXIC: Ideal for kids, ages 3 & up.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The invasion began subtly. A large, brown cardboard mothership landed on the kitchen table, bearing the mark of the great river god, Amazon. My human, with the misguided enthusiasm of a collaborator, opened it to reveal a regiment of smaller, bright yellow-and-green troop carriers. She called them "school supplies." I called them an occupying force. Each small box was a barracks, housing two dozen silent, brightly-colored soldiers standing at attention. They were clearly planning something. My surveillance began at dusk. I leaped silently onto the table, a gray shadow in the twilight. The boxes smelled of wax and a faint, chemical sweetness—the scent of insurgency. I selected one box as my primary target for interrogation. A deft nudge with my nose sent it tumbling to the floor, spilling its contents across the hardwood. The soldiers scattered, their "double-wrapped" paper armor glinting under the lamp light. They were a diverse platoon: Scarlet, Indigo, Cerulean, even a grim-looking one named Black. They were waiting for orders. I singled out a particularly bold one, "Green Yellow," for questioning. It lay apart from the others, its pointed tip aimed directly at my favorite napping rug. A clear provocation. I approached cautiously, extending a single, soft paw. I tapped it. It rolled, a silent, evasive maneuver. I tapped it again, harder this time, batting it with increasing urgency. It offered no information, only a faint, waxy clicking sound as it skittered across the floor. This was a hardened operative, trained to resist. Finally, I trapped it against the leg of the sofa. My patience had worn thin. I delivered a final, decisive pat, sending the Green Yellow agent deep into the dark abyss under the furniture, neutralizing it for good. I sat back and cleaned a pristine white paw, feigning nonchalance as my human chuckled and called me a "silly boy." She had no idea I had just quelled a miniature uprising. These crayons were not toys. They were a silent, colorful menace, and while they were individually weak, their numbers were concerning. I would have to remain vigilant. One down, 575 to go.
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Crayola Color Wonder Magic Light Brush, Mess Free Painting Station for Kids, Gift for Kids, Toddler Toys & Activities, Ages 3, 4, 5

By: Crayola

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has procured another plastic doodad from Crayola, ostensibly to entertain the Small Human, her loud and unpredictable offspring. This one is a "painting station," a rather grand term for a tray of clear goo and some special paper. The central gimmick is a brush that glows with the color it's supposed to be painting, which seems like a needlessly complicated way to solve a problem I don't have. The most offensive feature, however, is that it’s "mess-free." The colors, they claim, only appear on the paper. This entirely defeats the purpose of paint, which is, of course, to be stepped in and artistically tracked across forbidden surfaces. While the glowing light might momentarily distract me from a more pressing nap, the lack of chaotic potential makes this entire enterprise a waste of my valuable time.

Key Features

  • COLOR WONDER PAINT SET: This set features a Magic Light Brush Unit, 6 Color Wonder Paints, and 18 Blank Color Wonder Paper Sheets.
  • LIGHT UP PAINT BRUSH: The unique kids' paintbrush lights up to indicate the paint color, adding an element of surprise and excitement to your child’s painting session.
  • 6 MESS FREE PAINT PADS: Each panting station comes with mess-free paint pads, which include 6 classic Color Wonder paints that won't dry out!
  • MESS FREE PAINTING: The Color Wonder Paints are clear and only appear on special Color Wonder Paper, not on skin, clothing, or walls.
  • PRESCHOOL CLASSROOM TOY: This paint set is not just a toy, but a valuable learning tool for preschool classrooms. It encourages creativity, fine motor skills, and color recognition in young learners.
  • GIFT FOR KIDS: This mess-free paint set for kids is the perfect holiday, birthday, or everyday gift for kids and toddlers.
  • SAFE AND NONTOXIC: The Color Wonder Paint Set is safe and nontoxic, making it ideal for kids, ages 3 & up.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

It arrived in a box that smelled of progress and disappointment. The Small Human, whose shrieks are a reliable barometer for incoming plastic, confirmed my suspicions. She and the larger human assembled the "Color Wonder Magic Light Brush" on the floor, a space I generally consider to be an extension of my personal lounging territory. I observed from the safety of the armchair, my tail giving a slow, judgmental flick. She would dip the fat white brush into a pot of what looked like water, and the brush itself would glow—a lurid blue, a garish red. She’d then scrub it on the paper, and the color would bloom into existence. It was a tedious, predictable magic, but it had the desired effect of silencing her for a full seven minutes, a new household record. That night, under the sliver of a moon, I conducted my own investigation. The house was quiet, the humans deep in their slumber. I glided across the living room rug and hopped onto the low table where the contraption had been left. The six little pots of clear gel were sealed tight, a minor but irritating obstacle. My focus, however, was on the brush. The "Magic" brush. It lay inert, a pale, plastic thing. What was its secret? Was it powered by a trapped spirit? A tiny, imprisoned sunbeam? I nudged it with my nose. Nothing. I gave it a firmer pat with my paw, rolling it against the edge of the paint tray. Suddenly, it came to life. A soft, purple light pulsed from its tip, casting an amethyst glow on my white chest fur. I froze, my ears swiveling to catch any sign of discovery. The light was silent, steady. It held no warmth, no scent. It was just… light. A hollow promise. My cynicism deepened. I managed, with some effort, to hook a claw under the lid of the purple paint pot and flip it open. I dipped a single, perfect paw into the cool, slick gel. It was odorless, textureless. A whole lot of nothing. Then, with the deliberate grace of a master, I placed my paw squarely in the center of a fresh sheet of the special paper. I lifted it and examined my work. A faint, damp paw print was visible for a moment before it began to evaporate. There was no burst of purple, no magical transformation. Nothing. The trick, the "wonder," was a sham. It required their specific tools used in their specific way. There was no room for improvisation, no possibility of true, unadulterated artistry—the kind that leaves a permanent mark on a light-colored sofa. Disgusted, I flicked my paw clean, leaped from the table, and retired to the foot of the bed. Let them have their tidy, contained little light show. It was a toy for beings who feared the glorious, unpredictable nature of a real mess. I closed my eyes, content in my superior understanding of the world. A truly great toy doesn't need lights or magic paper; it just needs to be knocked off a counter at 3 a.m.
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Crayola Super Tips Marker Set for Kids (100ct), Broad Tip & Fine Point Washable Art Markers for Kids, Bulk School Supplies, Teacher Classroom Must Haves, Drawing Supplies

By: Crayola

Pete's Expert Summary

Ah, Crayola. The purveyor of tools for the small human's chaotic scribblings. My human has presented me with a box containing a veritable legion of one hundred slender, colorful plastic cylinders. Their stated purpose—to stain paper with a bewildering array of hues from "Screamin' Green" to "Outer Space"—is of no consequence to me. Their true potential, of course, lies not in art, but in being individually batted from a high surface, their tiny caps sent skittering into the dark voids beneath the sofa. The sheer quantity is intriguing, offering a buffet of rolling prey. However, their static nature means *I* must supply all the kinetic energy, a significant investment that could otherwise be spent perfecting the art of the sunbeam nap. A promising, if labor-intensive, diversion.

Key Features

  • 100 CRAYOLA MARKERS: One 100ct pack of Crayola Super Tips Markers in assorted colors.
  • THICK & THIN LINES: Supertips Markers can make thick or thin lines for a variety of coloring techniques.
  • CRAYOLA COLORS: This bulk marker set features 100 different colors to make sure you always have the shade you need.
  • WASHABLE MARKERS: Crayola Washable Markers are specially formulated to wash from the skin as well as most fabrics used in children's clothing.
  • ART SUPPLIES FOR KIDS: Crayola Washable Markers are perfect for kids or adults to use in coloring books, make original works of art, or to practice hand lettering.
  • SAFE & NONTOXIC: Non-toxic markers make a great gift set for young artists ages 3 and up.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The ritual began, as it often does, with the crinkle of a plastic seal and the groan of a cardboard flap. My human, a clumsy acolyte in a cult of her own making, knelt on the floor and decanted the offerings. One hundred colorful pillars, each smelling faintly of plastic and ambition, spilled onto the rug. She didn't scatter them like a proper servant providing tribute, but arranged them in a neat, orderly rainbow. An affront to glorious chaos, but I allowed it, observing from my perch on the armchair, my white-cuffed paws tucked neatly beneath me. She was clearly trying to summon something, to create some kind of artistic magic. Poor thing. I descended with the silent grace befitting my station, my gray form a shadow against the garish spectacle. I approached the nearest rank of markers, a line of what the box called "blues." I sniffed a "Cerulean." Nothing. It was an inert vessel, devoid of the tantalizing aroma of bird or mouse. I nudged it with my nose. It didn't yield. It was planted firmly in the plush fibers of the rug. A failure. I was about to turn away, to deliver my verdict with a flick of my tail and a swift retreat to a sunnier spot, when my eye caught a flaw in the ceremony. One of the markers, a brash "Electric Lime," had a cap that was not fully seated. This was an invitation. A challenge. With a delicate, surgical precision that my human could never hope to replicate, I hooked a single claw under the cap's edge. It resisted for a moment, then gave way with a satisfying *click*. The cap, a tiny, hollow, and impossibly lightweight piece of plastic, was now free. It was the soul, liberated from its useless body. I gave it a tentative pat. It shot across the hardwood floor, skittering with a sound like a beetle in a hurry. My ears swiveled. My pupils dilated. The markers themselves were a bore, a useless, colorful forest of pillars. But the caps... the caps were the true treasure. A hundred tiny, perfectly weighted, eminently skitterable morsels of joy. The human, in her bumbling attempt at art, had unknowingly provided me with a lifetime supply of the finest floor hockey pucks a feline could desire. I glanced back at the remaining ninety-nine still-capped markers, then at my human, who was smiling, thinking her offering had been a success. In a way, she was right. She just had no idea why. The Electric Lime cap was now under the radiator, and I had ninety-nine more souls to release. The harvest had begun.
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Crayola Ultra Clean Washable Markers for School (40ct), Essential Back to School Supplies for Kids, Coloring Book Marker Set, Teacher Classroom Supplies

By: Crayola

Pete's Expert Summary

Ah, another offering from the Tall One, clearly intended for the Small Human whose primary function is to drop food and occasionally provide a clumsy, albeit warm, lap. This appears to be a box of 40 colorful plastic cylinders from a brand called "Crayola." The humans will likely use them to deface perfectly good sheets of paper, a pointless endeavor when they could be admiring me. However, their sheer quantity and cylindrical shape present a tantalizing possibility for batting practice. The "washable" feature is a key innovation; it means should one of these sticks "accidentally" get bapped onto my pristine white tuxedo bib, the evidence of my fun can be easily removed, thus avoiding any unpleasant lectures about my behavior. It's not a toy, per se, but it's a promising source of chaotic, rolling projectiles.

Key Features

  • CRAYOLA BROAD LINE MARKERS: Features 40 Crayola Ultra Clean Washable Markers in assorted colors that offer practicality, versatility, and creativity all in one package.
  • WASHABLE MARKERS: Each less-mess colored marker washes easily from skin, washable clothing, and most painted walls.
  • COLORING MARKERS FOR KIDS: Choose from 40 unique colors to decorate art projects with eye-popping flair.
  • ART MARKERS: Essential for any child’s artistic endeavors, these markers offer a range of colors and are perfect for a variety of creative projects.
  • BACK TO SCHOOL SUPPLIES: These are must-have markers for school supplies lists, adding versatility to both academic and creative tasks and ensuring students are prepared for the school year.
  • GIFT FOR KIDS: Crayola Broad Line Markers make a great birthday or holiday gift for boys and girls.
  • SAFE & NONTOXIC: Ideal for kids ages 3 & up.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The operation began under the sterile, humming lights of the kitchen. The Tall One presented a new rectangular container to the Small Human, who ripped it open with a distinct lack of finesse. Inside, a veritable army stood at attention: forty identical soldiers in a rainbow of uniforms, their flat-topped heads gleaming. The "Crayola 40," I surmised. A new syndicate moving in on my territory. I watched from my observation post on the cool tile, tail giving a slow, metronomic twitch of suspicion. They were an ostentatious bunch, all "Screamin' Green" and "Shocking Pink," clearly overcompensating for something. Later, the field of battle was the large wooden table in the dining room. The Small Human had been scribbling, creating some abstract monstrosity that was an insult to true art—which, for the record, is a perfectly executed nap in a sunbeam. Opportunity knocked when both humans left the room. I made a silent, fluid leap onto a chair, then the table. The 40 were scattered, their mission complete for the moment. I approached a straggler, a deep, brooding specimen they probably called "Prussian Blue." I gave it a test nudge with my nose. It had a cheap, plastic smell, but it rolled beautifully. With a carefully calibrated swat of my paw, I sent Prussian Blue flying. It skittered across the polished wood and took a dive off the edge, landing with a soft *clack* on the floor. The chase was on. I pursued it under the credenza, my natural gray camouflage making me a ghost in the shadows. I cornered it against a leg of the furniture. It was a pathetic adversary, offering no fight, no squeak, no desperate flutter. It just lay there. I batted it back and forth, the sound a dull echo in the quiet room. This was its only purpose now. The Tall One returned, uttering a soft "Oh, Pete." She reached under the credenza, not for me, but for my captive. She picked it up, inspected it, and then noticed a faint blue streak it had left on the white baseboard. My mark. My triumph. But then she produced a damp cloth and with one effortless wipe, my victory was erased from history. "Washable," the box had boasted. It wasn't a feature; it was a flaw. An alibi. These Crayola agents were amateurs, incapable of leaving a lasting impression. Amusing for a brief skirmish, but ultimately, forgettable. I yawned, stretched, and leaped back onto the chair, leaving the blue snitch to be returned to its garish platoon. A proper nap was in order.
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Crayola Clicks Retractable Tip Marker Set for Kids (10ct), Markers For School, Long Lasting Coloring Book Supplies, No Dry, Back to School Essentials, 3+

By: Crayola

Pete's Expert Summary

My Staff has presented me with a collection of plastic cylinders from a brand called "Crayola," which I understand is a purveyor of tools for the smaller, less sophisticated humans. These particular items are "Clicks," a series of retractable markers. The primary appeal, from my perspective, is the lack of caps, which eliminates a tedious game of "bat the plastic thing under the heaviest piece of furniture" that, while amusing, often ends in loud sighs from the Person. The "washable" feature is a prudent addition, as it ensures my magnificent white tuxedo fur remains pristine should I accidentally grace one of these objects with my presence. The cone tip and long-lasting ink are features clearly designed for someone else. Ultimately, unless the clicking mechanism provides a satisfyingly sharp report or they can be used to draw a particularly convincing bird, they seem destined to be little more than colorful clutter in my domain.

Key Features

  • CRAYOLA RETRACTABLE MARKERS: Includes 10 Retractable Crayola Markers in assorted colors. (Additional colors and shades are available in the 20ct set (sold separately)).
  • WASHABLE MARKERS: Crayola Washable Markers for kids feature a nontoxic formula that's washable from skin and most washable clothing.
  • LONG-LASTING INK: The long-lasting inks ensure you can keep using them without worrying about them running dry.
  • ART SUPPLIES FOR KIDS: These vibrant markers are perfect for classroom activities, art projects, and coloring books. Great for teachers and kids enhancing their art supplies.
  • CONE TIP: Each marker features a cone tip that allows for both fine lines and broad strokes, making them versatile for various art projects.
  • TRAVEL FRIENDLY: Each kid-friendly retractable marker is specially formulated to resist drying out and features easy-click tips to make creative travel activities a breeze.
  • GIFT FOR KIDS: Give this marker set as a holiday or birthday gift for kids ages 3 and up.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The package arrived with the scent of cardboard and distant warehouses, a dull affair until the Person tore it open. Inside, nestled in a plastic tray, lay ten agents of chaos, each a different, offensively bright color. I watched from my perch on the armchair, feigning disinterest. The Person picked one up—the garish yellow one—and pressed its end. *CLICK*. A colored point emerged from the tip. She pressed it again. *CLICK*. It vanished. This was no mere stick. This was a device. Later, when the house fell into the quiet hum of a slumbering refrigerator, my mission began. I leapt onto the desk, a silent gray shadow in the moonlight. The ten cylinders lay there, inert. I approached the blue one first, sniffing it cautiously. It smelled of chemicals and plastic, a sterile and uninvincing scent. I nudged it with my nose. Nothing. I gave it a soft pat with a paw, claws sheathed. It rolled an inch. This was beneath me. Then, remembering the Person's strange ritual, I pressed the end of the cylinder with my paw pad. *CLICK*. The nib shot out, a sudden, dark point. I flinched, startled by its abrupt appearance. It was like a tiny, silent assassin revealing its weapon. I became obsessed. I moved down the line. Green. *CLICK*. Red. *CLICK*. Black. *CLICK*. Each press was a small, satisfying report, a percussive beat in the silent room. I was no longer just a cat; I was a telegraph operator, sending coded messages into the night. What did they mean? Perhaps it was a signal to a secret society of felines, or a way to deactivate the home's security system. The Person believes the vacuum cleaner is the greatest threat; she is naive. I batted one off the desk and watched it skitter across the hardwood floor. The sound was adequate. It was no mouse, but it had potential. The next morning, the Person found me sitting amidst the scattered markers. Amused, she retrieved the orange one and, on a piece of paper, drew a wobbly circle with a dot in the middle. "Look, Pete," she cooed, "it's a sunbeam for you." An insult. A two-dimensional mockery of the glorious, warm patches gifted by the sky-fire itself. I stared at the crude drawing, then back at the marker in her hand. My verdict was clear. The markers themselves are useless trinkets. But the *click*... the click is a sound of immense power and possibility. For that sound alone, these strange devices could stay. For now.
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