A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Coloring Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Crayola
Clattering Cascade Confirms These Are Not Merely Crayons
★★★★☆
Crayola
Rainbow Arsenal Falls to the Superior Tactician
★★★★☆
Crayola
General Pete Deploys His Thirty-Six Colorful Conscripts
★★★★☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Crayola
Plastic Puzzles Mastered, One Satisfying Click at a Time
Our critic dismisses the drawing angle entirely but declares the twist mechanism a work of mechanical genius worthy of his singular attention.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human seems to believe my life lacks color, a foolish assumption given the vibrant world I inhabit through my closed eyelids during a nap. They have presented me with this... arsenal of plastic tubes. They call them "Twistables," which I'm told means the tedious and satisfying ritual of watching them sharpen wooden pencils into delightful piles of shavin…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Crayola Twistables Colored Pencil Set for Kids (50ct), No Sharpen Coloring Book Pencils, Essential Classroom Supplies, Cute Back to School Gifts for Kids, 4+
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★★☆
Forty-nine puzzles still await my genius.
From The Desk
Image of Crayola Ultra Clean Washable Markers for School (40ct), Essential Back to School Supplies for Kids, Coloring Book Marker Set, Teacher Classroom Supplies
Crayola
Forty Rolling Rivals Enter Pete's Combat Academy

So, the Human has acquired a box from the Crayola institution, a name I associate with the Small Human's noisy, smeary "art time." This particular offering is a collection of fort…

★★★★☆ — Thirty-nine more sparring partners await.
More From The Desk
Image of Crayola Pip-Squeaks Washable Marker Set (65ct), Coloring Set, Art Supplies for Kids, Drawing Kit, Kids Travel Activity, Craft Essentials, 4+
Crayola
Accidental Artist Claims Masterpiece the Child Gets Credit For

So, the humans have acquired a plastic briefcase filled with what appear to be colorful, stubby twigs and a stack of disappointingly thin nap-mats. T…

★★★★☆
Image of Crayola Bluey Color Wonder Coloring Set, 18 Bluey Coloring Pages, Mess Free Coloring for Toddlers, Bluey Toys, Gifts for Kids
Crayola
Mess-Free Markers Betray Their One True Purpose

My human seems to believe this "Color Wonder" set is a revolutionary piece of technology, but I see it for what it is: a sanitized activity for clums…

★☆☆☆☆
Image of Crayola Clicks Retractable Tip Marker Set for Kids (10ct), Markers For School, Long Lasting Coloring Book Supplies, No Dry, Back to School Essentials, 3+
Crayola
Cap-Free Disgrace Saved Only by a Small Human's Art

My human seems to believe that any object with bright colors is a potential source of amusement for me. This latest offering, a set of "Crayola Click…

★★★☆☆
Image of Crayola Ultimate Crayon Box Collection (152ct), Bulk Crayons for Kids, Must Have Preschool & Kindergarten Classroom Supplies, Back to School Gift for Kids
Crayola
One Silver Captive Justifies an Entire Stadium of Mediocrity

My human, in a fit of what I can only assume is a misguided attempt at "creativity," has acquired a plastic monstrosity brimming with 152 waxy, color…

★★★☆☆
Image of Crayola Coloring Book, Big Book of Disney Animation, 288 Coloring Pages, Gift for Kids, Age 3, 4, 5, 6
Failed Plaything Redeemed as a Bespoke Napping Dais

My human has presented me with what appears to be a ridiculously thick stack of flimsy paper sheets. The packaging suggests it is a "Coloring Book" f…

★★☆☆☆
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