A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Alex Toys Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Lead Review · From: ALEX Toys
Enemy Convoy Mapped on Tile, One Pawn Captured
Pete reads the foam bath stickers as a hostile invasion map and mounts a counter-espionage operation, peeling off the rearguard car as a trophy of war.

It appears my Human has procured a collection of flimsy foam shapes from the "ALEX Toys" brand, apparently designed to be moistened and adhered to the bathroom tiles for the amusement of a small, uncoordinated human. They call it a "Beep Beep" activity, which is an insult to the nuanced vocabulary of a sophisticated creature such as myself. The premise is t…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Alex Bath Beep Beep Stickers in The Tub Bath Toy Kids Bath Activity
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★☆☆
The game, as they say, is afoot.
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Image of Alex Rub a Dub Shaving in the Tub Kids Bath Activity
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Cargo Cult Razor Summons Nothing, Fails Entirely

My human seems to think I care about the toys of the *other* small creature in this house. This latest acquisition is a collection of cheap-looking p…

★☆☆☆☆
Image of Alex Little Hands Paper Plate Bugs Kids Toddler Art and Craft Activity
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Green Pom-Pom Liberated From Paper-Plate Monstrosity

Ah, yes. The Human has presented me with a box of what appears to be... potential. It seems this "Paper Plate Bugs" kit from a brand called ALEX is n…

★★★☆☆
Image of Alex Discover My First Scribble Kids Art and Craft Activity
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One Accidental Teardrop Redeems 50 Pages of Chaos

My human seems to have acquired this... propaganda piece. It’s a book, apparently, called "My First Scribble," designed for the less-developed member…

★★☆☆☆
Image of Alex Spa Sketch and Sparkle Tattoo Pens Girls Fashion Activity
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Glitter Ritual Produces Wobbly Star, Zero Demons

My human has procured a kit from a brand named "ALEX Toys," which appears to be a method for applying garish, glittering war paint. From what I can o…

★☆☆☆☆
Image of ALEX Toys Little Hands Picture Mosaic Kids Toddler Art and Craft Activity, Multicolor, One Size, 1406
Scattered Foam Squares Become Perfect Floor Prey

My human seems to think this "Picture Mosaic" is for the smaller, louder human, but I see through the ruse. It appears to be a collection of flat boa…

★★★★☆
Image of ALEX Toys Motorized Shoot Out Hockey
Puck Liberated From Its Noisy Plastic Prison

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has presented me with a "Motorized Shoot Out Hockey" table. From what my superior intellect c…

★★★☆☆
Image of ALEX: Tub Time Grand Prix - 32 Piece Bath Time Toy Set, Car & Racetrack Playset, Foam Pieces, Water Squirting Cars, Water Toy, Kids & Toddlers Ages 3+
Grand Prix Condemned; One Dry Foam Piece Pardoned

So, the human has presented a contraption they call the "Tub Time Grand Prix." It appears to be a collection of brightly colored foam shapes and smal…

★★☆☆☆
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