Pete's Expert Summary
My human, in their infinite and often baffling wisdom, has presented me with this… thing. It’s a garishly colored plastic pig from Fisher-Price, a brand I associate with the shrieking spawn of their species. Apparently, its purpose is to be a "bank," where one shoves numbered discs into a slot on its back, triggering a symphony of offensively cheerful songs about counting and, for some reason, Spanish. Frankly, the entire concept is beneath me. While the ten colorful coins possess a certain potential for being batted into the dark recesses under the heaviest furniture, the pig itself is a loud, patronizing insult to my intelligence. It seems to be a training device for a very small, very simple-minded creature, and I am neither.
Key Features
- Musical toy piggy bank with 40+ songs, sounds and phrases
- 2 Smart Stages learning levels teach numbers and counting, colors, and Spanish words
- Drop the coins into piggy’s back or press the nose for fun songs, sounds and phrases
- Includes 10 colorful coins with numbers or animals on each side for put-and-take play
- Helps foster fine motor skills and introduces cause & effect for infants and toddlers ages 6 months to 3 years old
A Tale from Pete the Cat
It arrived in a box, an omen of disruption, and was placed on the floor with an air of great expectation. I observed it from the arm of the leather sofa, my gray tuxedo fur bristling slightly at its sheer audacity. It was a pig. A pink, plastic pig with a vacant smile and a slot in its back. The human demonstrated its function, dropping a yellow coin inside. The pig shrieked with delight, singing a song about the number three. I was not amused. This was not a toy; it was a containment unit. A vault. And inside, ten perfectly slick, perfectly lightweight discs were being held captive. The mission became clear: liberate the assets. My first attempt was a direct paw-swipe, a test of its defenses. I tapped the ridiculous snout, and it oinked and launched into another tuneless diatribe. A pathetic security system. This called for a more strategic approach. For the next hour, I feigned disinterest, indulging in a meticulous grooming session while covertly mapping the object's center of gravity. It was bottom-heavy, but its rounded shape was a critical weakness. The human, satisfied I was ignoring their foolish purchase, went to procure their afternoon tea. This was my moment. I slid from the sofa like a silver shadow. No brute force. This was a job for physics. I positioned myself, lowered my shoulder, and nudged the pig’s upper curvature with a steady, calculated pressure. It began to list, its cheerful songs turning into a desperate, wobbly chorus. With a final, decisive shove, it tipped over, landing on its side with a hollow clatter. The little door on its underside, its one structural flaw, popped open. The ten coins tumbled out onto the rug, a glorious spill of silent, beautiful plastic. I ignored the still-singing pig, selected the red coin with the lion on it, and with a flick of my paw, sent my prize skittering deep under the antique bookshelf. The piggy bank can keep its noise. I’ll keep the treasure.
