A photo of Pete the cat

Pete's Toy Box: Transformer

Transformers Toys Heroic Optimus Prime Action Figure - Timeless Large-Scale Figure, Changes into Toy Truck - Toys for Kids 6 and Up, 11-inch (Amazon Exclusive)

By: Transformers

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has presented me with a large, articulated plastic effigy they call "Optimus Prime." Apparently, this red and blue monstrosity is a "hero" that can be twisted from a bipedal form into a wheeled contraption in six, frankly laborious, steps. Its sheer size is its only notable quality, making it a potential obstacle to knock over for a satisfying clatter. It has no feathers, no crinkle, no scent of catnip, and its "heroic" gaze is entirely vacant. It seems designed for the clumsy hands of a small human, offering none of the subtle, dynamic play that a sophisticated creature such as myself requires. Ultimately, it’s a large, static piece of decor that will do little more than gather dust that I will later have to groom from my immaculate fur.

Key Features

  • EXPERIENCE THE CLASSIC CONVERSION PLAY OF TRANSFORMERS TOYS: Transformers toys that change from robot to vehicle have captivated kids for generations.
  • 2 TOYS IN 1: This toy robot changes into the signature red and blue Optimus Prime toy truck in 6 simple steps. Easy conversion for kids 6 years old and up.
  • FAVORITE TRANSFORMERS CHARACTER: Transformers follows the story of the heroic Autobots, who fight to protect all life, and the evil Decepticons, who seek to conquer the universe. This timeless 11-inch Cyber Commander Series figure depicts Optimus Prime, legendary leader of the Autobots--essential when starting a Transformers toy collection.
  • IMAGINE EXCITING BATTLES: Collect other 11-inch Cyber Commander Series Transformers figures so kids can imagine their own Autobot vs. Decepticon battles (Each sold separately. Subject to availability).
  • MAKES A GREAT GIFT: This classic Optimus Prime action figure makes the perfect birthday or holiday gift.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The thing arrived in a cardboard prison, its plastic scent an immediate affront to my delicate nostrils. Once freed, it stood on the rug like a silent, primary-colored sentinel, its face a mask of stoic indifference. The Human called it a "Transformer," a name that dripped with unearned gravitas. I watched from the safety of the armchair, my tail twitching in irritation. It was a new god in the pantheon of household objects, and I was not among its worshippers. It did nothing. It simply stood, its sheer verticality an insult to my preferred horizontal state of being. Later, the Human approached the idol and began performing a strange ritual. With a series of violent clicks and snaps, they folded its limbs and contorted its body. The noble, standing figure collapsed into a blocky, wheeled beast. A "truck," they cooed, rolling it back and forth. The sound was a low, grating rumble on the hardwood floor. A shapeshifter. A charlatan. My initial disdain curdled into deep suspicion. What was its purpose? What was its game? I decided to wait until the cover of darkness, when the house was mine, to conduct my own investigation. As moonlight striped the floor, I crept from my sleeping spot on the sofa. The "truck" sat motionless near the fireplace. I approached with caution, circling it, sniffing its hard, rubbery wheels. They smelled of nothing. I gave one a tentative pat. It wiggled slightly. Emboldened, I gave the entire vehicle a firm shove with my head. It slid smoothly across the wood, silent as a whisper, coming to a rest a few feet away. A low, satisfying hum vibrated through the floorboards. I pushed it again, this time with more force, sending it gliding into the leg of the coffee table with a muted *thump*. An epiphany, brilliant and profound, struck me. This was not an adversary. This was not a toy. This was a tool. A piece of advanced, gravity-based kinetic equipment. For the next hour, I perfected the art of the "slide-pounce." I would shove the truck across the floor, then launch myself from the shadows to intercept it, my paws landing silently on its back. It was a mobile ambush platform, a training simulator for dispatching larger, more rectangular prey. The robot form is an utter waste of time, but this "truck" mode? It has potential. It has passed the preliminary trial. It may remain.
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Transformers Toys Heroic Bumblebee Action Figure - Timeless Large-Scale Figure, Changes into Yellow Toy Car, 11" (Amazon Exclusive)

By: Transformers

Pete's Expert Summary

So, the Human has presented me with... this. A large, garishly yellow plastic construct they call 'Bumblebee.' Apparently, this 'heroic Autobot' has the singular, dubious talent of contorting itself from a bipedal form into a wheeled brick in six noisy steps. From my point of view, its primary function seems to be occupying valuable sunbeam real estate. The sheer size, 11 inches of hollow plastic, might offer a satisfying clatter when pushed from the mantelpiece, but its hard edges and lack of any discernible scent of prey make it fundamentally uninteresting. It's a toy for a being with less refined tastes, a distraction I might observe with detached amusement but would never deign to truly engage with.

Key Features

  • EXPERIENCE THE CLASSIC CONVERSION PLAY OF TRANSFORMERS TOYS: Transformers toys that change from robot to vehicle have captivated kids for generations.
  • 2 TOYS IN 1: This toy robot changes into the signature yellow Bumblebee toy car in 6 simple steps. Easy conversion for kids 6 years old and up.
  • FAVORITE TRANSFORMERS CHARACTER: Transformers follows the story of the heroic Autobots, who fight to protect all life, and the evil Decepticons, who seek to conquer the universe. This timeless 11-inch Cyber Commander Series figure depicts Bumblebee, a brave Autobot scout--essential when starting a Transformers toy collection.
  • IMAGINE EXCITING BATTLES: Collect other 11-inch Cyber Commander Series Transformers figures so kids can imagine their own Autobot vs. Decepticon battles (Each sold separately. Subject to availability).
  • MAKES A GREAT GIFT: This Bumblebee action figure makes the perfect birthday or holiday gift.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

It arrived in a box that smelled of a faraway factory and disappointment. The Human freed the yellow giant and placed it on the low bookshelf, where it stood sentinel over the paperback novels. For a day, it was merely a statue, a silent, two-legged intrusion into my carefully curated décor. I observed it from my post on the armchair, noting its vacant stare and the way dust already seemed drawn to its bright, plastic shell. It was a monument to poor taste, nothing more. Then came the change. The Human, in a moment of what I can only describe as fidgety boredom, picked it up. There was a series of loud, grating *clicks* and *snaps*—the "6 simple steps," I presume. The giant folded in on itself, its limbs disappearing into a crude, blocky shape with four wheels. A moment later, I heard the familiar jingle of keys and the heavy thud of the front door. The Human was gone. A sudden revelation pierced my consciousness. The wheeled form, the "car," it was a portent. It foretold an empty house. The next day, I found the object standing on two legs again. I watched it, and the Human, with renewed interest. The hours passed. The Human remained, tapping on their glowing rectangle and occasionally making cooing noises in my direction, which I tolerated. The house was quiet, the laps were available, and my routine was blessedly uninterrupted. The bipedal form meant stasis. It meant the continued presence of my staff. This wasn't a toy at all; it was a barometer. A tool for prognostication. I have since abandoned all thought of swatting this "Bumblebee." One does not bat at an oracle. My days are now governed by its state. A quick glance at the bookshelf in the morning tells me everything I need to know about the day's potential for chaos or calm. The Human believes they have a collectible figure. What they have unwittingly provided is a plastic prophet that allows me to manage my expectations with unparalleled accuracy. A truly invaluable, if unconventional, service. It is, against all odds, worthy.
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Transformers Age of The Primes Leader Class The Thirteen Onyx Prime, 7.5-inch Converting Action Figure, Robot Toys for Ages 8+

By: Transformers

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has brought a new idol into the house for their strange plastic pantheon. This one, calling itself "The Thirteen Onyx Prime," is a rather large, dark figure from the "Transformers" clan. It boasts the ability to contort itself into three different shapes—a robot, a "centaur" (whatever that is), and a beast. Frankly, the constant clicking and snapping required for this transformation sounds like an egregious disruption to my napping schedule. However, its supposed "beast mode" might warrant a cautious sniff, and more importantly, it comes with several small, detachable accessories. These tiny artifacts are, by universal feline law, destined to be batted under the heaviest piece of furniture in the room, a purpose for which this toy seems exceptionally well-suited.

Key Features

  • THE THIRTEEN ONYX PRIME ACTION FIGURE: This 7.5-inch (19 cm) The Thirteen Onyx Prime action figure toy features deco and detail inspiration from the Transformers universe
  • 3-IN-1 CONVERTING TRANSFORMERS TOY: Transformers action figure converts between robot, centaur, and beast modes toy in 12 and 19 steps
  • AWESOME ACCESSORIES: The Thirteen Onyx Prime Transformers figure comes with a Triptych Mask Artifact and spear accessory and his tail can come off and convert into a bow accessory
  • ARTICULATED FOR PLAY AND DISPLAY: Transformers figures feature articulated heads, arms, and legs for action poses
  • GIFT TRANSFORMERS COLLECTIBLES: The Thirteen Onyx Prime action figure makes a great collectible figure gift for any Transformers fan
  • THE THIRTEEN ONYX PRIME: The Thirteen Onyx Prime is the beast Prime with a warrior spirit eclipsed only by his fierce loyalty to his friends
  • AGE OF THE PRIMES: The Thirteen Primes are the very first bots in Transformers mythology, a pantheon of beings each with a unique ability and personality. Every battle, bot, and power in the Transformers universe can be traced back to them

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The ritual began as it always does: with the crinkle of a new box and the human's hushed, reverent tones. From my command center atop the bookcase, I watched him extract the dark, angular being. He called it Onyx Prime. For twenty minutes, the living room was filled with an infuriating symphony of clicks, snaps, and frustrated muttering as he twisted the thing from a vaguely humanoid shape into something he proudly declared a "centaur." It looked like a terrible accident. He placed it on the floor, armed with a spear and a curious mask-like object, and then left to answer the call of the glowing rectangle in his pocket. This was my chance to inspect the new territory. I descended from my perch with the practiced silence of a shadow, my white paws making no sound on the rug. The plastic interloper stood motionless, a monument to my human's poor taste. It smelled of nothing but the factory it came from. I circled it once, my tail giving a slight, dismissive twitch. The main body was useless—all hard angles and no satisfying texture for a good cheek rub. The spear, however... the spear was promising. It lay loosely in the figure's grasp. My initial probe was subtle, a simple nose-boop to the base of the spear. It wobbled. A flicker of interest sparked within me. This was not merely a statue; it was a puzzle box of potential amusements. I raised a soft gray paw, extending a single, perfect claw, and hooked the spear. With a delicate flick, I sent it skittering across the hardwood floor, where it came to rest beautifully under the edge of the entertainment center. One for Pete. The plastic centaur didn't even flinch. Pathetic guardian. Now for the final prize: the "Triptych Mask." It was a finer, more intricate piece. I batted at the figure's hand, a soft *thump-thump-thump* of fur on plastic. The mask held fast. A challenge! I sat back on my haunches, narrowed my eyes, and calculated the physics. A swift, upward strike from below. My paw shot out, a white-and-gray blur, connecting with the bottom of the mask. It popped free, soaring in a glorious arc before landing softly on the rug. I pounced, trapping it beneath my paws. This Onyx Prime was, on its own, a rather dull and oversized paperweight. But as a delivery system for superior, smaller toys? An absolute triumph of engineering. It could stay. For now.
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Transformers Age of The Primes The Thirteen Alpha Trion, Voyager Class 7-Inch Converting Action Figure, Robot Toys for Ages 8+

By: Transformers

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has procured yet another plastic effigy, this one from that noisy "Transformers" universe they seem to adore. It's a seven-inch figure named Alpha Trion, who is allegedly some sort of wise, ancient robot. Frankly, his wisdom is questionable if it takes him 22 tedious steps to transform into what they call a "Cybertronian hovercraft," a shape I can achieve simply by melting onto the floor. While the main figure seems a bit too rigid for a proper wrestling match, its articulated limbs might be useful for posing it in a state of humiliating defeat. The true appeal, however, lies not in the robot itself, but in its six tiny accessories. A miniature book and a quill? These are not toys; they are high-value projectiles destined for the dark, unreachable void beneath the refrigerator, and for that purpose alone, this product is not a complete waste of my valuable waking hours.

Key Features

  • AGE OF THE PRIMES THE THIRTEEN ALPHA TRION: This Transformers The Thirteen Alpha Trion figure features deco and details inspired by the Transformers universe
  • 7-INCH VOYAGER CLASS TRANSFORMERS FIGURE: In robot mode, the Transformers action figure is 7 inches (17.5 cm) tall
  • CONVERT BETWEEN ROBOT AND CYBERTRONIAN HOVERCRAFT MODE IN 22 STEPS: This Transformers toy figure converts between modes in 22 steps
  • ARTICULATED FOR PLAY AND DISPLAY: Age of the Primes Transformers figures feature articulation for display-worthy poses or action-packed play
  • 6 ACCESSORIES THAT ATTACH: Figure comes with 2 shoulder armor pieces, backpack/shield piece, detachable Autobot insignia, covenant book, and quill accessories
  • PART OF THE AGE OF THE PRIMES COLLECTION: Everything in the Transformers universe can be traced back to the original bots, the Thirteen Primes. Alpha Trion is the wisest and most noble of the Primes
  • GIFT TRANSFORMERS COLLECTIBLES: Transformers action figures make a great gift for boys and girls 8 and up or anyone who collects Transformers toys

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The Human placed the purple-and-gold statue on the mahogany desk, a place I consider my secondary throne room. It stood there, impassive, its painted blue eyes staring into nothing. "This is Alpha Trion," The Human cooed, "the wisest and most noble of the Primes." I flattened my ears. A challenge. There is only one wise and noble being in this household, and my fur is far softer. I watched from the arm of the chair as The Human fiddled with it, attaching its shoulder armor and placing a tiny, ridiculous book and quill in its grasp. A scholar, then. This was not a matter of brute force, but of intellectual superiority. Later, under the soft glow of the desk lamp, I made my move. I leaped silently onto the polished wood, my paws making no sound. I faced my plastic rival. He stood there, a monument to immobility, clutching his fake book of knowledge. I circled him slowly, my tail giving a single, contemptuous flick. Wisdom is not static; it is fluid, adaptable. It is knowing the precise moment the sunbeam will hit the rug for optimal warmth. It is training a bipedal giant to deliver food at the sound of a specific meow. This imposter knew none of that. His "nobility" was a coat of paint. My initial probe was subtle. I extended a single, perfect white paw and gently nudged the so-called Covenant of Primus. It didn't budge. He was guarding his secrets, or more likely, was simply a well-balanced piece of plastic. Very well. I shifted my attention to the quill. It was a sliver of gray plastic, an insult to the very concept of writing. I, a master of non-verbal communication, could convey more with a slow blink than this creature could with an entire library of these trinkets. I hooked the quill with one claw, feeling its pathetic lightness. With a flick of my paw, I sent the quill skittering across the desk. It sailed through the air in a graceful arc before disappearing over the far edge with a nearly inaudible *clink* on the hardwood floor below. I then nudged the book, dislodging it from the robot's stiff hand. It fell face-down with a dull clatter. I stared into Alpha Trion’s unchanging face. His wisdom had not saved his tools. He remained silent, defeated, his quest for knowledge summarily ended by a being of superior intellect. I gave a satisfied chirp, hopped off the desk, and settled onto a nearby pile of The Human's "important papers." The statue was a fine sparring partner for the mind, and an excellent source of small things to hide. He was, I decided, worthy of his place on my desk. For now.
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Transformers Toys Heroes and Villains Optimus Prime and Megatron 2-Pack Action Figures - for Kids Ages 6 and Up, 7-inch (Amazon Exclusive)

By: Transformers

Pete's Expert Summary

So, my human has presented me with these two ungainly plastic statues, apparently depicting some eternal, tedious conflict. They call them "Optimus Prime" and "Megatron." From what I can gather, they are crude effigies meant for the smaller, louder human. Their primary feature seems to be the ability to contort from a bipedal form into blocky, wheeled things—a "truck" and a "tank." Frankly, the transformation process is the only interesting part, and only because it occupies the human's hands, which might otherwise be attempting to give me a well-meaning but disruptive pat. At a respectable 7-inch height, they possess a certain heft, making them prime candidates for being knocked off a high shelf to create a satisfying clatter. Ultimately, they are not for *me* to play with, but rather to serve as obstacles or, perhaps, as silent, judgmental observers of the inferior beings in this house.

Key Features

  • HEROES VS. VILLAINS: The heroic Autobots and evil Decepticons face off as the legendary battle continues. Imagine epic battles between the Autobots and Decepticons with classic Transformers characters
  • 7-INCH SCALE: This 2-pack includes 7-inch figures depicting the noble Autobot leader, Optimus Prime, and the ruthless Decepticon leader, Megatron
  • 2-IN-1 CONVERSION: Both figures feature simple conversion perfect for young Transformers fans age 6 and up
  • G-1 INSPIRED ALT MODE: Optimus Prime toy converts between robot and truck modes in 7 steps. Megatron toy converts between robot and tank modes in 8 steps.
  • BUILD A COLLECTION: Look for other Transformers Heroes and Villains 2-Packs to imagine battles between the Autobots and Decepticons. (Each sold separately, subject to availability).

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The human placed the two plastic golems on the living room rug, a space I have graciously designated for my mid-morning stretches. One was a garish clash of red and blue, an assault on the eyes. The other was a monotonous gray, the color of a day without sunbeams. They stood there, lifeless and imposing, locked in a silent, meaningless tableau. My human babbled on about "Autobots" and "Decepticons," but I, of course, understood the true narrative at play. These were not warriors; they were vessels for a cosmic drama of my own design. I observed as my staff performed the clumsy ritual of "transformation." With a series of unsatisfying clicks and snaps, the red one folded into a wheeled brick, while the gray one became a treaded lump with a pointless-looking cannon. An idea, brilliant and sharp as my own claws, took root in my mind. This was not a toy. This was a communication device. A tool for expressing the state of my union with the provider of food. From that day forward, the figures became my political envoys. When the food bowl was full to my exact specifications, the water fresh, and my fur brushed to a magnificent sheen, I would gracefully position the red "truck" in a place of prominence, usually near the food bowls. This signaled an era of peace and benevolence. The reign of Prime was upon the land, and all was right with the world. My human, slow as they are, began to understand, cooing about how much I "liked" the red one. But when a grievance arose—a late breakfast, an inferior brand of kibble, a closed door to a room I suddenly desired to be in—the scene would change. Under the cover of stretching, or perhaps a sudden, "playful" pounce, the red truck would be overturned. The gray tank, my grim harbinger of discontent, would be nudged forward to take its place. The Age of Megatron had dawned. Let there be wailing and gnashing of teeth, for the master of the house was displeased. It was amazing how quickly a can of the good tuna would appear to appease the tyrannical gray tank and restore the benevolent red truck to its rightful place. The toys themselves are worthless plastic, you understand, but as instruments of power? Utterly indispensable.
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Transformers Age of The Primes Aerialbot Skydive, Deluxe Class 5.5-Inch Converting Action Figure, Robot Toys for Ages 8+

By: Transformers

Pete's Expert Summary

My human, in a fit of what I can only assume is nostalgia-fueled delusion, has acquired this plastic effigy named "Skydive." It appears to be a member of the "Transformers" tribe, a known quantity in this household, typically involving far too much clicking and twisting for my taste. This particular specimen is a bipedal robot that contorts itself into a jet. From a purely functional standpoint, its 5.5-inch stature makes it a pounceable, if somewhat angular, adversary. The claim of "articulation for display-worthy poses" is, of course, irrelevant to anyone with a shred of dignity. The true potential, however, lies not in the garish primary-colored figure itself, but in the three small, detachable "blaster" accessories. These are prime candidates for being batted under the heaviest piece of furniture in the house, offering a far more engaging and long-term play experience than the main unit, which is doomed to be a glorified paperweight.

Key Features

  • AGE OF THE PRIMES AERIALBOT SKYDIVE: This Transformers Aerialbot Skydive figure features deco and details inspired by the Transformers universe
  • PART OF TRANSFORMERS AERIALBOT SUPERION: Aerialbot Skydive action figure combines with other Aerialbot Transformers figures (each sold separately, subject to availability) to create the Aerialbot Superion figure
  • 5.5-INCH DELUXE CLASS TRANSFORMERS FIGURE: In robot mode, the Transformers action figure is 5.5 inches (14 cm) tall
  • CONVERT BETWEEN ROBOT AND JET MODE IN 17 STEPS: This Transformers toy figure converts between modes in 17 steps
  • 3 ACCESSORIES ATTACH IN BOTH MODES: Figure comes with 3 blaster accessory pieces
  • ARTICULATED FOR PLAY AND DISPLAY: Age of the Primes Transformers figures feature articulation for display-worthy poses or action-packed play
  • GIFT TRANSFORMERS COLLECTIBLES: Transformers action figures make a great gift for boys and girls 8 and up or anyone who collects Transformers toys

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The ritual began, as it so often does, on the living room floor. My human, The Provider, was hunched over a small box, his face illuminated by a concentration usually reserved for the opening of a particularly stubborn can of tuna. From within, he produced the artifact: a rigid, gray and red sentinel, standing at attention. It stared into the middle distance with a vacant expression, its limbs locked in a soldier's pose. I watched from my observation post atop the sofa's armrest, tail giving a slow, judgmental twitch. Another plastic interloper. Another monument to my human's baffling hobbies. He began to manipulate it. A click, a twist, a sickening pop of plastic. The sentinel's arms folded inward, its head vanished into its chest. It was a symphony of plastic agony, a forced and unnatural yoga session. I flattened my ears, not in fear, but in secondhand embarrassment for the poor thing. Seventeen steps, the box had proclaimed. Seventeen indignities visited upon this silent figure until its form was utterly broken and remade. It was no longer a biped, but a sharpened, aerodynamic predator—a "jet," as The Provider whispered with reverence. He slid it across the hardwood, and I will concede, its glide was smooth and silent, a whisper of potential. But I was not so easily swayed by such obvious parlor tricks. I descended from my perch with the deliberate grace befitting my station and approached the transformed object. It smelled of the factory and my human's fingerprints. I gave it a tentative pat with a single, unsheathed claw. It skittered away, an acceptable, if uninspired, reaction. The Provider beamed, thinking his offering had been accepted. He was, as usual, mistaken. My interest lay elsewhere. During the violent transformation, a small piece—one of the so-called "blasters"—had been attached to the jet's wing. It was a tiny, intricate piece of dark plastic, no bigger than a large beetle. While the human was distracted, cooing at his cleverness, I deftly hooked the blaster with my claw and flicked it free. It tumbled away, landing silently on the rug. *This* was the prize. The large, clumsy jet was merely a transport vessel for this perfect, bite-sized morsel of chaos. It was the ideal shape for carrying in my mouth, for dropping in a shoe, for batting into the dark abyss beneath the refrigerator. The jet could stay. It could be a static decoration for all I cared. The true toy, the real gem, was this small, stolen treasure. The verdict was in: Skydive is a profoundly flawed product, but its packaging is excellent.
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Transformers Age of The Primes The Thirteen Micronus Prime, Deluxe Class 5.5-Inch Converting Action Figure, Robot Toys for Ages 8+

By: Transformers

Pete's Expert Summary

Honestly, the Human’s obsession with these “Transformers” is a puzzle I lack the patience to solve. This one appears to be a lump of colored plastic called "Micronus Prime," which my Human will spend an absurd amount of time twisting and clicking—22 steps, apparently—to change it from a bipedal nuisance into a... wheeled nuisance. It comes with an even smaller plastic bit that also transforms, which is mildly more interesting due to its potential for being knocked under the couch. It’s hard, has no soft parts for biting, and doesn’t smell like catnip or salmon. While the Human might find joy in articulating its limbs for "display-worthy poses," I suspect its primary function will be to occupy a space on a shelf that could be better used for my afternoon sunbathing. It's not a toy; it's a monument to wasted effort.

Key Features

  • AGE OF THE PRIMES THE THIRTEEN MICRONUS PRIME: This Transformers The Thirteen Micronus Prime figure features deco and details inspired by the Transformers universe
  • 5.5-INCH DELUXE CLASS TRANSFORMERS FIGURE: In robot mode, the Transformers action figure is 5.5 inches (14 cm) tall
  • CONVERT BETWEEN ROBOT MECH SUIT AND MOTORCYCLE MODE IN 22 STEPS: This Transformers toy figure converts between modes in 22 steps
  • CHIMERA STONE ACCESSORY CONVERTS TO BOT: Mech suit figure comes a Chimera Stone accessory that converts to Micronus Prime mini action figure in 7 steps. Mini figure can ride in motorcycle mode
  • ARTICULATED FOR PLAY AND DISPLAY: Age of the Primes Transformers figures feature articulation for display-worthy poses or action-packed play
  • PART OF THE AGE OF THE PRIMES COLLECTION: Everything in the Transformers universe can be traced back to the original bots, the Thirteen Primes. Micronus Prime is the conscience and moral center of the Primes
  • GIFT TRANSFORMERS COLLECTIBLES: Transformers action figures make a great gift for boys and girls 8 and up or anyone who collects Transformers toys

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The clicks were what first drew my attention away from the important business of grooming my left shoulder. It was a rhythmic, precise sound, the noise of plastic pieces being manipulated with a focus the Human rarely applies to tasks that actually matter, like refilling my water bowl with filtered water or preparing my evening pâté. He was hunched over the coffee table, a shrine to his fleeting interests, turning a gray and gold figure over and over in his hands. I observed from my velvet cushion, my tail giving a single, dismissive flick. This was not for me. This was one of his rituals, a solitary game with an object that offered none of the tactile pleasures of a feather wand or the satisfying resistance of a good scratching post. I watched, feigning disinterest, as the bipedal form slowly contorted. A leg folded here, an arm tucked there. It was a painstaking, clumsy ballet of thumbs and forefingers. After what felt like an eternity of these clicks and snaps, the upright figure was gone, replaced by a strange, angular conveyance. A "motorcycle," the Human muttered to himself with a sigh of satisfaction. He then picked up a smaller, gem-like object and, with a few more deft twists, turned it into a miniscule rider. He carefully placed the tiny pilot onto the seat of the motorcycle, creating a bizarre little tableau. Then, as is his way, he stood up and wandered into the kitchen, his quest for a beverage overriding his fascination with his new trinket. The fool. He had left the high-value target completely exposed. I descended from my cushion with the silent grace of a shadow, my paws making no sound on the hardwood floor. The motorcycle itself was uninteresting; it smelled of the factory it came from and had the cold, unyielding feel of all such objects. But the rider, this little "Micronus Prime," was another matter entirely. It was small. It was perched precariously. It was, in short, perfect. I extended a single claw, just the tip, and gave the tiny figure a gentle but firm tap. It flew. Not far, but with a delightful skittering sound as it slid across the polished wood and disappeared beneath the entertainment center. Victory. I looked back at the now-riderless motorcycle. It sat there, inert and pointless. A vehicle with no driver, a toy with no soul. The Human could have his large, complicated plastic junk. I had already claimed the best part. I gave a quiet, satisfied "mrrrow" and sauntered off to find a sunbeam, content in the knowledge that I had once again improved upon the Human's questionable taste in entertainment. The tiny pilot would provide at least a minute of sport later. The rest was just clutter.
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Transformers Age of The Primes Aerialbot Fireflight, Deluxe Class 5.5-Inch Converting Action Figure, Robot Toys for Ages 8+

By: Transformers

Pete's Expert Summary

My human seems to believe my interests extend to humanoid plastic figures, a laughable assumption. This "Aerialbot Fireflight" is a cheap-looking automaton, a garish red-and-white thing meant for clumsy, sticky-fingered children. Its primary feature is its ability to contort itself from a bipedal form into some sort of flying machine in seventeen tedious steps—a process that will surely occupy my human for an infuriating amount of time. While its articulated limbs might allow for a satisfyingly dramatic fall from a great height, its true, and perhaps only, value lies in the two small "blaster" accessories. These are prime candidates for being batted under the heaviest piece of furniture, providing a worthy challenge for a slow Tuesday afternoon. The rest of it is just shelf-clutter waiting to happen.

Key Features

  • AGE OF THE PRIMES AERIALBOT FIREFLIGHT: This Transformers Aerialbot Fireflight figure features deco and details inspired by the Transformers universe
  • PART OF TRANSFORMERS AERIALBOT SUPERION: Aerialbot Fireflight action figure combines with other Aerialbot Transformers figures (each sold separately, subject to availability) to create the Aerialbot Superion figure
  • 5.5-INCH DELUXE CLASS TRANSFORMERS FIGURE: In robot mode, the Transformers action figure is 5.5 inches (14 cm) tall
  • CONVERT BETWEEN ROBOT AND JET MODE IN 17 STEPS: This Transformers toy figure converts between modes in 17 steps
  • 2 ACCESSORIES ATTACH IN BOTH MODES: Figure comes with 2 blaster accessory pieces
  • ARTICULATED FOR PLAY AND DISPLAY: Age of the Primes Transformers figures feature high articulation for display-worthy poses or action-packed play
  • GIFT TRANSFORMERS COLLECTIBLES: Transformers action figures make a great gift for boys and girls 8 and up or anyone who collects Transformers toys

A Tale from Pete the Cat

It arrived in a vessel from the Outer World, a cardboard ark delivered by a herald in a rumbling chariot. My human, the Keeper of this Realm, performed the Unboxing Rite, and from the plastic shell emerged a new god for the Mantelpiece Pantheon. It stood five-and-a-half inches tall, a sentinel of crimson and white, its face a stoic, unblinking mask. The Keeper called it "Fireflight," a name that tasted of sky and fury. It was placed amongst the dusty photo frames and the porcelain bird, a silent, angular intruder upon the sacred high ground. I watched from the shadows of the armchair, my tail a slow metronome of suspicion. That evening, the Keeper approached the altar and began the Great Ritual. With reverent hands, she twisted and turned the idol. A series of seventeen sacred clicks echoed in the quiet room, a complex liturgical act of transformation. A leg became a wing. An arm folded into a fuselage. The warrior god I had observed all day vanished, replaced by a winged sky-chariot. The Keeper attached its two divine armaments—tiny blasters of immense potential—beneath its wings and left it poised for flight, an offering to the ceiling fan. I was not impressed by this parlor trick, but I was intrigued by the shifting of its form. Was its power inherent, or merely channeled by the giant primate? Under the pale glow of the streetlights, long after the Keeper had retired to her chambers, I made my pilgrimage. I leaped silently onto the mantelpiece, my paws making no sound on the wood. The jet-god was cold, inert plastic. There was no hum of cosmic energy, no thrum of an engine waiting to ignite. I sniffed its chassis. It smelled of the factory it was born in, not of the heavens it purported to command. I extended a single, soft, gray paw, my claws carefully retracted, and gave its wing a gentle pat. The idol tumbled from its perch without a fight. It clattered ignominiously onto the hearthstones below, a pathetic, hollow sound. Its two sacred blasters broke free, skittering across the floor like frightened insects. A false god, then. A powerless effigy. I leaped down, located one of the blasters with a hunter’s precision, and with a flick of my paw, sent the divine artifact spinning into the dark abyss beneath the sofa. The jet itself I ignored. It could lie there until the Keeper resurrected it. It was utterly unworthy of my attention, but its trinkets would make for a fine morning’s sport.
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Transformers Age of The Primes Wreck 'n Doom Collection 2-Pack, 7.5-Inch Autobot Sandstorm and 5.5-Inch Slugslinger Action Figures, Robot Toys, 8+ (Amazon Exclusive)

By: Transformers

Pete's Expert Summary

My human, in a fit of what I can only describe as regressive nostalgia, has procured two more plastic golems from this "Transformers" tribe. The box claims they are part of a "Wreck 'n Doom Collection," which aptly describes what will happen if they are left on the edge of a high shelf. One, a rather gaudy orange and beige fellow, apparently twists itself into both a land-based vehicle and some sort of noisy flying contraption. The other is a smaller, more reasonably sized blue jet. While their larger forms are entirely too cumbersome for any civilized form of play, I must confess a passing curiosity in the smaller, detachable "blaster" accessories and the tiny "Titan Master" figure. They seem perfectly sized for a good skittering-chase under the credenza, which is more than I can say for the human's attention, which will undoubtedly be wasted on them for hours.

Key Features

  • TRANSFORMERS AGE OF THE PRIMES WRECK 'N DOOM 2-PACK: This Wreck 'n Doom Collection pack includes 2 Transformers action figures, Autobot Sandstorm and Slugslinger
  • 3-IN-1 AUTOBOT SANDSTORM FIGURE: 7.5-inch (19 cm) Transformers figure converts between robot, dune buggy, and helicopter modes in 19 and 32 steps
  • 2-IN-1 SLUGSLINGER FIGURE: 5.5-inch (14 cm) Transformers action figure converts between robot and jet mode in 10 steps
  • AWESOME ACCESSORIES: Robot action figure set comes with blaster accessories. The Slugslinger figure comes with a Titan Master Caliburst figure
  • ARTICULATED FOR PLAY AND DISPLAY: Transformers figures feature articulated heads, arms, and legs for action poses
  • AGE OF THE PRIMES: The Thirteen Primes are the very first bots in Transformers mythology. Every battle, bot, and power in the Transformers universe can be traced back to them
  • GIFT TRANSFORMERS COLLECTIBLES: This action figure toy 2-pack makes a great collectible figure gift for any Transformers fan

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The two newcomers stood sentinel on the coffee table, silent and motionless under the lamplight. My human had arranged them in what he clearly thought was a dramatic tableau before leaving the room for a snack. To me, they were not warriors, but omens. I have learned to read the plastic entrails the staff brings into my domain, and these two spoke of the day to come. I leaped onto the table, my gray tuxedo immaculate against the dark wood, and began my augury. First, I examined the larger one, Sandstorm. The human had left it in its helicopter mode. I padded around it, sniffing the rotor blades. The circular shape, the potential for rapid, whirring movement—it was a clear portent of the arrival of a Great Sky-Buzzard, the kind of large, droning fly that appears in the summer and presents a truly worthy acrobatic challenge. Its dune buggy form, which I had glimpsed on the box, spoke of frantic, low-to-the-ground scurrying. The day, it seemed, would be filled with a glorious hunt. This was a good sign. Next, I turned my attention to the smaller blue figure, Slugslinger, poised in its jet form. Its lines were sleek, its wings swept back, a clear symbol of swift and purposeful departure. This foretold the human's morning exodus for that place he calls "work," a migration that would leave the house blissfully silent and entirely mine for several hours. The tiny pilot figure nestled in its cockpit was a minor detail, perhaps representing a dream I would have of a particularly plump mouse. The blasters attached to its wings were promises of a secondary event, likely the delivery of my afternoon salmon pâté. I sat between the two plastic prophets, a soft, gray sphinx interpreting their silent message. The helicopter promised a chaotic, thrilling chase. The jet promised the peace and solitude required for a post-hunt nap. The pieces fit together to form a prophecy of a perfect day. Satisfied with the reading, I gave the tip of Slugslinger's wing a gentle tap with my paw, setting the future in motion. The toy rocked slightly, a silent confirmation. The day was mine. They were worthy, not as toys, but as the heralds of my fortune.
Image of Transformers Age of The Primes Wreck 'n Doom Collection 2-Pack, 7.5-Inch Autobot Sandstorm and 5.5-Inch Slugslinger Action Figures, Robot Toys, 8+ (Amazon Exclusive) View Details