A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The The Simpsons Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
JAKKS Pacific
Hostile Takeover Complete: Clown Deposed, Assets Liquidated
★★★★☆
Disney
Homer Catapulted Repeatedly; Side Table Taken as Trophy
★★★☆☆
Disney
Willie's Rake Liberated, Four Figures Dismissed as Cargo
★★☆☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Disney
False Idol Baptized in Pete's Sacred Water Dish
Our critic stages a theological reckoning, depositing the plastic Snowball II rival into his own water bowl while banishing the dog figure to the sofa underworld.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My Human, in their infinite and baffling wisdom, has procured a bizarre pantheon of small, rigid effigies. They are apparently based on some loud, yellow bipeds from the glowing rectangle, along with their lesser canine and a frankly pathetic-looking feline counterpart. The Human seems excited that their limbs can be contorted into unnatural poses, arrangin…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Disney The Simpsons Action Figures Family Multi-Pack 2.5” Scale Figures, Includes Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Maggie, Santa’s Little Helper, and Snowball II
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★☆☆
Moderately stimulating as object theatre.
From The Desk
Image of Disney The Simpsons Moe’s Prank Phone, Feature Iconic Telephone from Moe’s Tavern, Over 10 Prank Calls and Phrases
Disney
Case Closed: Receiver Disconnected, Cord Acquitted

So, the Human has presented me with this... object. It's a chunky, plastic thing in a rather loud shade of purple, shaped like some archaic communication device from their past. T…

★★☆☆☆ — One trick. Case closed.
More From The Desk
Image of Disney The Simpsons Talking Krusty Doll Plush, 16-Inches Tall Good and Evil Krusty Pull String Doll Toy, from The Classic Treehouse of Horror III Episode
JAKKS Pacific
Evil Krusty Activated; Dual-Faced Doll Earns a Reprieve

My human, in their infinite and often baffling wisdom, has procured a large, plush effigy of some sort of jester. This thing, a "Krusty Doll" from a …

★★★★☆
Image of The Simpsons - Blinky The Three Eyed Fish Plush
LADD INTERNATIONAL
Storm Grants Mutant Fish One Night of Worthy Combat

My human, in her infinite and often baffling wisdom, has presented me with this… thing. It is, I deduce, a plush effigy of a fish, but one that has b…

★★★☆☆
Image of Disney The Simpsons Maggie Plush Features Soft Fabric Body with Sculpted Head Officially Licensed by Disney
JAKKS Pacific
Yellow Potato Idol Falls, Earns Only Dismissal

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has presented me with a tribute to the silent, spiky-haired infant from their favorite glowin…

★☆☆☆☆
Image of Disney The Simpsons 5" Premium Furious Homer Collector's Action Figure
Furious Homer Crumples Satisfyingly, Earns Chaise Berth

My human appears to have acquired a small, plastic effigy of the loud, yellow man from the glowing rectangle. They call it a "Premium Furious Homer C…

★★★★☆
Image of The Simpsons 5" Homer Collectible Action Figure
Mantelpiece Homer Swept to Floor for the Satisfying Clatter

It appears my human has presented me with a small, yellow effigy of a rather rotund member of their own species. This "Homer" figure, as they call it…

★★☆☆☆
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