Pete's Expert Summary
My Human, in a fit of what I can only describe as bewildering generosity for a species other than my own, has procured a box of small, plastic effigies. He calls them the "Ultimate Protectors Pack," a rather grandiose title for eight static figures in garish outfits. From my vantage point on the armchair, I can see they have poseable limbs, which offers the mildest of intrigue; perhaps I could arrange them in amusing tableaus of their own incompetence before batting them off the shelf. The shiny red-and-gold one might catch the light in a pleasing way, and the large green one looks dense enough to make a satisfying *thump*. Still, they lack feathers, fur, or the irresistible scent of catnip. They are, in essence, an assortment of glorified bottle caps, destined to be lost under the furniture unless they can prove remarkably good for chewing.
Key Features
- THE AVENGERS: United to battle the foes no single hero could withstand, The Avengers is the most powerful Super Hero team in the world.
- THE WORLD'S GREATEST HEROES: Marvel's Avengers Ultimate Protectors pack includes 8 super hero figures: The Hulk, Iron Man, Ant-Man, Black Panther, Captain America, Spider-Man, Marvel's War Machine, and Marvel's Falcon
- POSE AND PLAY: These Marvel toys feature articulated limbs for easy poseability during action-packed playtime, or posing for display
- INCLUDES ACCESSORIES: Set includes 2 character-inspired accessories so kids can imagine even more hero vs. villain battles
- FIND MORE MARVEL ACTION FIGURES: Look for more Marvel action figure sets and feature figures to add to any super hero toy collection. Figures make a great gift for kids and adult fans alike. (Each sold separately. Subject to availability.)
A Tale from Pete the Cat
I found one of them abandoned on the cold plains of the kitchen tile. The Human had called this one "Iron Man," though he was clearly made of plastic and smelled faintly of the warehouse he’d been stored in. He stood there, arms slightly bent, a monument to his own inertness. I began my standard threat assessment protocol: a low, silent approach, whiskers forward, analyzing every angle. He did not react. An amateur. My first move was a gentle nudge with my nose. He wobbled, his hollow form betraying his lack of substance. Pathetic. I escalated, raising a single white paw and delivering a precise, testing *bap* to his crimson helmet. He toppled instantly, landing on his back with a cheap-sounding clatter. The battle, if one could call it that, was already over. I had asserted my dominance without even unsheathing a claw. It was almost disappointing. I stood over his fallen form, a gray and white shadow of victory. His limbs were splayed at odd angles, a testament to his "poseable" nature. I hooked a claw under his arm and dragged him a few inches, just to see if he’d protest. Nothing. I was the conqueror of a silent, plastic man. I sniffed him one last time, my discerning nose detecting no fear, no challenge, no life. He was nothing more than an obstacle, a piece of colorful debris in my kingdom. With a final, dismissive flick of my paw, I sent him skittering across the floor. He slid under the cabinet with a faint rattle, joining the ghosts of forgotten milk rings and that one particularly good bottle cap from last winter. He was not a protector. He was not a worthy adversary. He was, at best, a moderately entertaining piece of floor hockey equipment. My work here was done. I had a very important patch of sun on the living room rug that required my immediate and full attention.
