Pete's Expert Summary
My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has procured a plastic idol from the Mattel corporation. It appears to be a four-inch, skeletal automaton from that blocky universe they so often get lost in on the glowing rectangle. It's clearly intended to be a "collectible," which is human for "look but do not touch," a rule I find laughably quaint. Its supposed "playability" stems from its posable limbs and a tiny, separate bow and arrow. While the main figure is too rigid and artless for a connoisseur of fine toys, the small, easily detached accessories present a tantalizing opportunity for a game of "bat it under the heaviest piece of furniture and watch the human despair." This object is not a toy; it is a delivery system for a much smaller, more losable toy.
Key Features
- Take home the epic adventures of A Minecraft Movie with these authentically detailed action figure and accessories sets!
- At 4-inch scale, the figures are great for recreating favorite movie scenes or inventing new ones on the go.
- Each character comes with accessories unique to their journey, such as a bow and arrow, a chicken leg or dog collar.
- Collectors and fans can look for Minecraft video game characters like Steve and Creeper, as well as movie friends and foes, to create a unique Overworld adventure!
- Minecraft fans of all ages will love to add their collections for play and display!
A Tale from Pete the Cat
The thing arrived in a clear prison, which the human tore open with a sound like a dying animal. They placed the skeletal figure on the mantlepiece, a place of high honor usually reserved for dusty photographs and things I am expressly forbidden from knocking over. It stood there all evening, a silent, bony sentinel judging my every nap. It held a tiny bow, a pathetic threat against a predator of my caliber. I waited until the house fell into the deep silence of 3 a.m., the hour of the cat, before making my move. Leaping from the armchair to the mantle was a simple feat, a silent flight in the silver moonlight. I landed without a sound, inches from the intruder. It was lighter than it looked, a hollow shell of cheap plastic. I nudged it with my nose. It wobbled, its blocky head staring blankly. This was no warrior; it was a charlatan. A more forceful shove sent it toppling over with a dissatisfying clatter. Its limbs, which the human had called "posable," were now splayed in an undignified heap. Pathetic. My attention turned to the weapon it had dropped. The bow. It was a sliver of plastic, light as a dried leaf, and perfectly shaped for swatting. I tapped it gently with one paw. It skittered away, a delightful little dance across the polished wood. This had potential. I ignored the fallen skeleton and gave the bow a proper whack, sending it flying off the mantle. It sailed through the air, a perfect arc, before landing silently on the plush living room rug. The game was afoot. I spent the next hour in a state of pure bliss. The hunt for the tiny bow was magnificent. I stalked it, pounced, and sent it skidding under the coffee table, a new challenge to be solved. The original figure remained on the mantle, a forgotten casualty. When the sun began to stream through the windows, I left the bow in its final hiding place deep within the cavernous space beneath the sofa. The human will find their little skeleton and think I was playing with it. They will be wrong. The skeleton was merely the vessel. The true treasure was the tiny, insignificant piece it brought with it. The toy is unworthy, but its accessory... its accessory is divine.
