Pete's Expert Summary
My human seems to have acquired yet another plastic effigy, this time dedicated to some villainous organization named after a perfectly respectable reptile. This "G.I. Joe Classified Series" item appears to be a small, articulated doll of a masked chauffeur and his oversized, weaponized dune buggy. The primary appeal for a being of my refinement is not the doll itself, which seems destined for a life of being posed in ridiculous, unnatural positions, but the sheer quantity of small, loseable parts. With 8 accessories for the driver and another 21 for his vehicle, this product is less a toy and more a treasure trove of tiny plastic bits perfect for batting under the heaviest and most inaccessible furniture in the entire house. The vehicle's "functioning suspension" might provide a mildly amusing bounce when pushed off the coffee table, but the true value lies in the inevitable, frantic human search for a microscopic helmet.
Key Features
- YO JOE! G.I. JOE EXPLODES INTO A LARGER-THAN-LIFE ERA WITH 6 INCH ACTION FIGURES: The G.I. Joe Classified Series evolves the retro toy fans know and love into a highly articulated 6-inch (150 mm) scale with premium deco and detailing
- CLASSIC COBRA DRIVER-INSPIRED DESIGN: Features a classic design updated to bring the Cobra Infantry Drivers into the modern era in a Deluxe Troop-building pack with 8 accessory pieces inspired by the character’s rich history
- LARGE-SCALE VEHICLES ROLL INTO ACTION: The multi-seat COBRA NIGHT ATTACK 4-WD STINGER features functioning wheels and suspension among 21 accessory pieces that are easy to assemble or attach (Some Assembly Required)
- HIGHLY POSEABLE WITH PREMIUM DETAILING: G.I. Joe Classified Series Cobra Night Attack 4-WD Stinger & Driver action figure set features exceptional detailing and articulation for cool poseability to create dynamic dioramas (some poses may require additional support)
- COLLECTIBLE WINDOWED PACKAGING: #120 in the Classified Series sequence. The figure is visible via a window display peeking into a closed box with accessory loadout, figure-specific File Card Icons, gorgeous original character artwork, and dynamic digital renders
- EXPAND YOUR COLLECTION: Look for other G.I. Joe figures and toys to build your roster of heroes and Cobra villains (Each sold separately. Subject to availability.)
- A PERFECT PRESENT: This Cobra Night Attack 4-WD Stinger & Driver figure makes a great gift for lifelong fans of G.I. Joe toys or for boys and girls who love action and adventure
A Tale from Pete the Cat
The box was a monument to poor taste, all garish colors and digital renderings. The human spent an obscene amount of time assembling the contents, making little 'vroom vroom' noises that grated on my nerves. Finally, he placed the finished product on the living room rug—a dark, angular vehicle and its masked pilot, frozen in a posture of what I assume was meant to be menace. I watched from the arm of the sofa, tail twitching in disdain. An intruder. A plastic, silent invader in my sovereign territory. I descended with the deliberate grace of a predator investigating a strange new fungus. I circled the "Night Attack 4-WD Stinger." It smelled faintly of a factory in a land I have no desire to visit. I gave one of the rubbery tires a tentative pat. It yielded slightly and wobbled on its suspension. Intriguing, but hardly a challenge. My attention turned to the driver. He stood there, holding a tiny rifle, his face hidden behind a silver mask. He was an operative of "Cobra," the box had said. A spy. He was clearly here to map my napping spots and report them back to his slithering masters. This aggression would not stand. My initial probe was a gentle shove with my head. The figure, top-heavy and poorly balanced, toppled over with a pathetic clatter. Pathetic. I am used to prey that at least *tries* to flee. I pinned him with a single, soft paw, bringing my face close to his. "State your purpose," I growled, a low thrum in my chest. "Who sent you? What intelligence are you gathering?" He remained silent, his painted eyes staring into nothingness. I saw then that his tiny rifle had fallen from his grasp. It was a separate piece. A small, black, perfectly shaped object for a game of floor hockey. I forgot the prisoner immediately. The rifle was the prize. A quick bat sent it skittering across the hardwood, its journey ending beneath the entertainment center, a place from which no object returns without a yardstick and a great deal of human cursing. A perfect shot. I looked back at the scene. The driver was still face-down on the rug, his useless car sitting beside him. It occurred to me that this Cobra agent wasn't the threat; he was merely a delivery vessel. A mule for high-quality chaos-inducers. He and his vehicle were static and boring, but the debris field they created was a playground of endless possibility. He may be an enemy agent, but his mission had, inadvertently, served my interests perfectly. He can stay, for now.
