A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Diamond Select Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Diamond Select Toys
Mealtime Overseers Disarmed, Cannon Lost to the Stove
★★☆☆☆
Diamond Select Toys
Sabretooth Dethroned and Dragged Under the Couch
★★★☆☆
Diamond Select Toys
Sue Storm Cast as Star of My Silent Masterpiece
★★★☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Diamond Select Toys
Red Hulk Promoted From Rival to Willing Accomplice
Our critic graduates the nine-inch crimson brute from desk intruder to unwitting keychain thief, granting it a conditional stay of execution.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human, in a fit of what I can only describe as arrested development, has acquired a large, crimson brute of a statue. They call it "Red Hulk" and seem very proud of its "new sculpt," which to me just means it has more angles to collect dust. It's supposedly a "bestselling" figure from a brand called Diamond Select, a name that implies a quality I have ye…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Diamond Select Toys Marvel Select Red Hulk 9-Inch Action Figure (Red)
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★☆☆
A fine accomplice for targeted mayhem.
From The Desk
Image of Diamond Select Toys The Walking Dead Comic Series 1 7-Inch Rick Grimes Action Figure with 16 Points of Articulation (Black and White)
Diamond Select Toys
The Man Is Boring; His Accessories Are Not

My human seems to think that I, a being of supreme comfort and refined taste, would be interested in this... plastic effigy. It's a small, grim-looking man-doll from a company cal…

★★☆☆☆ — The man bores me; his satchel stays.
More From The Desk
Image of DIAMOND SELECT TOYS Lost in Space: Electronic Lights & Sounds B9 Robot Figure, Multi-colored, 10 inches, (AUG142281)
Diamond Select Toys
The Noisy Robot Understands Our Shared Predicament

My Human seems to have acquired another plastic totem for his shelf of strange, unblinking figures. This one, a "B9 Robot" from a brand called Diamon…

★★★☆☆
Image of Diamond Select Toys Jean-Claude Van Damme (Blue Gi) Deluxe Action Figure
Diamond Select Toys
Blue Gi Bent Into My Most Eloquent Installation

My human has acquired another plastic man-doll. This one, apparently some sort of "Jean-Claude," is a 7-inch effigy clad in a blue pajama-like garmen…

★★★☆☆
Image of Diamond Select Toys Invincible: Rex Splode Series 4 Deluxe Action Figure
Diamond Select Toys
Rex Splode's Parts Are Better Than the Whole

My human has acquired another plastic effigy, this one apparently based on a character from that loud animated program they watch on the glowing scre…

★★★☆☆
Image of Marvel Select Comic Iceman Action Figure
Diamond Select Toys
Iceman's Fist Now Lives Under the Television Stand

Honestly, the Human bringing me a "toy" that is clearly meant for their own clumsy hands is a bit of an insult. This "Iceman" is a seven-inch piece o…

★★★☆☆
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