A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Talking Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Relsy
Talking Tom Promoted to Chief Alibi and Patsy
★★★☆☆
Ayeboovi
Hamster Earns Its Keep by Chattering at the Fly
★★★☆☆
Ms. Rachel
Plush Oracle Declares Its Pride in Pete On Demand
★★★★☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Pbooo
Green Biographer Captures Pete's Finest Meow
Our critic dismisses 120 tinny songs until the cactus plays back his meow undistorted, whereupon he appoints it his personal biographer.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human has presented me with a so-called toy from a brand named "Pbooo," a name that sounds suspiciously like a noise a baby makes when it disapproves of its strained peas. It is a garish, green plush column masquerading as a cactus, an insult to both respectable flora and well-crafted playthings. It apparently wiggles, sings an astonishing 120 songs—an a…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Pbooo Dancing Talking Cactus Mimicking Toy,Talking Repeat Singing Sunny Cactus Toy 120 Pcs Songs for Baby 15S Record Your Sound Sing+Dancing+Recording+LED
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★★☆
My biographer. Not a toy. Worthy.
From The Desk
Image of SANJOIN Dancing Talking Cactus Toy for Baby Toddler, Boys Girls Gifts Singing Mimicking Recording Repeating What You Say Baby Toys with 120 English Songs (Adjustable Volume)
SANJOIN
Wiggling Cactus Becomes Stage for Feline Magnum Opus

My human, in their questionable wisdom, has presented me with what appears to be a stationary, fuzzy succulent. I am told this 'SANJOIN' creation is not merely decorative. It alle…

★★★★☆ — First to capture my voice. It stays.
More From The Desk
Image of Bluey Talking Plush, 13” Soft Bluey Toddler Toys, Interactive Singing Stuffed Animal with 9 Different Phrases, Musical Toddler Toys 3-4 for Kids
Bluey
Blue Dog Demoted From Rival to Premium Furniture

My human has presented me with what appears to be a large, plush effigy of a cartoon dog. According to the packaging and the incessant chirping from …

★★★☆☆
Image of BestLand Plush Interactive Toys PRO Talking Hamster Repeats What You Say Electronic Pet Chatimals Mouse Buddy for Boy and Girl, 5.7 x 3 inches
BestLand
PRO Hamster Confirmed as Monument to Vapidness

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has procured an electronic rodent. This "BestLand PRO Talking Hamster" is, if I understand co…

★★☆☆☆
Image of Sonic The Hedgehog 3 Ultimate Talking Sonic 12-Inch Figure, Features 30+ Iconic and Humorous Phrases and Sounds from The Movies, Light-Up Eyes and Quills
Sonic The Hedgehog
Strobing Blue Quills Earn Shadow-Patrol Reprieve

It appears the human has brought another brightly colored monument to poor financial decisions into my domain. This one is a large, blue, spiky creat…

★★★☆☆
Image of 13" Talking Dancing Duck, Repeating What You Say Mimicking Recording Plush Baby Toy Musical English Song Singing Talking Glowing Animated Twisting Gift of Lighting Up Toy for Boy Kid
Marsjoy
Gaudy Duck Weaponized to Extract Two Salmon Treats

So, the Human has acquired a plush, luminous duck from a brand I've never bothered to acknowledge, Marsjoy. It is, by all accounts, a squawking autom…

★★★★☆
Other Desks In This Section
⬆ Up a level
About Pete Printed daily, ignored nightly Privacy Policy