A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Russ Berrie Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Lead Review · From: Russ
Furniture, Not a Toy, Rules the Mantelpiece
Our critic dismisses the stiff-haired orange homunculus as mere shelf decor, finding its coarse broom-like tuft wholly beneath his predatory ambitions.

My human has presented me with what appears to be a small, unpleasantly rigid homunculus with a follicular condition of alarming proportions. This 'Russ' creature, a relic from some bygone human era, is clearly not designed for a predator of my caliber. Its plastic form offers no satisfying give for my claws, and its primary function seems to be staring bla…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Russ Berrie Vintage Troll Doll Orange Haired 4.5 Inches
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★☆☆☆☆
It is furniture. I do not play.
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