My human, in a fit of what I can only assume is profound misunderstanding of their target audience, has presented me with a plush toy clearly intended for a creature of lesser intelligence, like a small human. This "Winnie the Pooh" is described as a "comforting pal," a role I have impeccably filled for years. Its softness is a given, a basic requirement fo…
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My human seems to believe my life, a perfectly calibrated cycle of napping, demanding sustenance, and judging their life choices, is somehow incomple…
My human seems to believe my sophisticated existence can be enriched by a stuffed effigy of that silly old bear from the Hundred Acre Wood, a charact…
So, my human seems to believe my life lacks… whimsy. She presented this soft, green pot from a brand called GUND, which at least suggests it won’t fa…
My Human, in a clear lapse of judgment, has acquired a set of plastic totems from the overly cheerful Disney corporation. It appears to be a bucket—a…