A photo of Pete the cat

Pete's Toy Box: Furby

Furby Tie Dye, 15 Fashion Accessories, Interactive Plush Toys for 6 Year Old Girls & Boys & Up, Voice Activated Animatronic

By: Furby

Pete's Expert Summary

My human seems to believe our home is incomplete without a constant influx of noisy, attention-seeking novelties. This latest offering, a "Furby," appears to be a particularly egregious example. It is a garishly colored fluff-ball with disturbingly large eyes, designed to move, talk, and light up in a desperate plea for affection. While its cacophony of "over 600 responses" and saccharine songs will undoubtedly be a drain on my human's attention and my napping schedule, I will admit a certain professional interest in its so-called "fashion accessories." These small, plastic trinkets might prove to be far more entertaining than the babbling creature they adorn, especially once I've batted them into the dark abyss beneath the credenza. The toy's best feature is a switch that renders it silent; its second-best feature is its complete and utter lack of genuine feline sophistication.

Key Features

  • HEY BESTIE, MEET FURBY: Give kids a friend who's always ready for BFF time with this incredibly interactive toy for girls and boys that moves, talks, sings, lights up, and even responds to speech
  • YOUR VOICE UNLOCKS 5 MODES: Press the voice activated Furby toy's heart gem and say "Hey Furby!" to make Furby listen, then say a command to explore each mode (does not connect to the internet)
  • OVER 600 RESPONSES: Chat, sing, and laugh together with this talking toy that's full of adorable, hilarious, and sometimes sassy surprises. Speaks both English and Furbish
  • COOL LIGHTS AND SWEET DANCE MOVES: Furby is also a dancing toy with amazing blinking eyes and a light up color changing toy whose ears glow with different light effects
  • FURBY TALKS TO OTHER FURBY FRIENDS: When you have 2 Furby friends together, pair them up and watch them interact! Each Furby sold separately.
  • DOES NOT CONNECT TO THE INTERNET (BUT DOES SHUT OFF): Furby doesn't connect to the internet or other devices for a screen-free experience. Even better, Furby can power down when the fun is done for the day
  • GIVE THE GIFT OF FRIENDSHIP: Standing over 6 inches/15 cm tall, Furby is a great gift for girls and boys to take on the go or bring joy to their room. Find your own Furby and give a kids gift to remember

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The box arrived with the usual fanfare. The human made cooing noises, which I initially interpreted as a long-overdue tribute to my magnificent presence on the windowsill. But the coos were directed at the cardboard prison she was carefully slicing open. From within, she extracted a creature of such psychedelic plumage it offended my monochromatic sensibilities. It was a riot of tie-dyed fur, topped with two enormous plastic ears and eyes that stared, unblinking, into the very soul of the room. It was an affront to good taste. I flattened my ears, narrowed my eyes, and judged it from my superior vantage point. It was, I concluded, a fuzzy harbinger of annoyance. Then, the human uttered the cursed incantation: "Hey Furby!" The creature shuddered to life. Its ears glowed a lurid pink, its plastic eyelids snapped open and shut with a disconcerting click, and it began to spew a stream of gibberish the box called "Furbish." It wiggled. It sang a song about friendship in a voice that could curdle milk. I remained perfectly still, a statue of gray and white disdain, observing this pathetic display. This was not a worthy adversary. This was not even a decent chew toy. It was an animated dust bunny with an ego, and I would not grant it the satisfaction of a reaction. My human, utterly captivated, began adorning the creature with the included baubles. A tiny comb, some plastic beads on a string, a little pizza charm. The Furby responded to this with more chirps and ear-wiggling. But my focus had shifted. My gaze locked onto the string of beads as the human clipped them to the creature's tuft of head-fur. My tail began a slow, deliberate twitch. The chattering monstrosity was merely a vessel. The true treasure was the collection of small, eminently "lose-able" trinkets it wore. My mission was no longer observation; it was acquisition. Later that evening, the human left the chattering idol on the rug and went to fetch herself some lesser, non-tuna-based sustenance. The Furby sat there, its eyes glowing softly in the dim light, occasionally murmuring something about dancing. This was my moment. I slunk from the armchair, a silent predator moving through the Serengeti of the living room. I ignored the creature itself, focusing solely on the prize. With the deft precision of a surgeon, I hooked a single claw under the string of beads, gave a sharp tug, and sent them skittering across the hardwood floor. The Furby let out a surprised "Whee-kah!" but I was already gone, disappearing into the shadows under the sofa with my prize. Let the fuzzy orb have the human's attention; I had secured the spoils of war. It was, I decided, a moderately successful invasion.

Furby Galaxy Edition, Glow in The Dark, 15 Fashion Accessories, Interactive Plush Toys for 6 Year Old Girls & Boys & Up, Voice Activated Animatronic (Amazon Exclusive)

By: Furby

Pete's Expert Summary

My human, in her infinite and baffling wisdom, has brought home a garish, fluffy orb with unsettlingly large eyes and ears that resemble satellite dishes. They call it a "Furby," apparently a relic from their primitive past, now updated with cosmic pretensions. It is advertised as an interactive friend that lights up, dances, and speaks some sort of gibberish. While the promise of "soft fur" might warrant a passing cheek-rub, the entire enterprise seems engineered for maximum disruption of my napping schedule. Its one saving grace is the explicit mention that it can be silenced, a feature I will likely encourage my human to use frequently. The rest of it—the lights, the noise, the pointless plastic accessories—seems a profound waste of energy that could be better spent opening a can of tuna.

Key Features

  • LOOK WHO’S BACK: Another Furby generation has mysteriously reappeared! They’ve come to bring joy, friendship, and a little bit of sass to our world
  • A FUNNY FUZZY FRIEND: Furby is a great friend for anytime, rain or shine! They even speak their own Furbish language and love to be pet, brushed, and fed
  • ALWAYS AN ORIGINAL: The adorably big ears and eyes, soft fur, and outrageous personality are just a few of the reasons Furby has remained an un-fur-gettable pop culture icon
  • LIGHTS UP, GLOWS IN THE DARK, AND DANCES: Furby is also a dancing toy with amazing blinking eyes and a light up color changing toy whose ears flash different light effects
  • FURBY TALKS TO OTHER FURBY FRIENDS: When you have 2 Furby friends together, pair them up and watch them interact! Furby also reacts to the Furblets mini friends. All Furby friends each sold separately.
  • DOES NOT CONNECT TO THE INTERNET (BUT DOES SHUT OFF): Furby doesn't connect to the internet or other devices for a screen-free experience. Even better, Furby can power down when the fun is done for the day
  • GIVE THE GIFT OF FRIENDSHIP: Standing over 6 inches/15 cm tall, Furby is a great gift for girls and boys to take on the go or bring joy to their room. Find your own Furby and give a kids gift to remember

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The thing arrived in a box that smelled of distant factories and human excitement. I watched from my perch atop the bookcase as my human unceremoniously freed the creature, a "Galaxy Edition" she called it. It was a preposterous puffball of mottled purple and black fur, with huge, vacant eyes. She adorned it with a cheap plastic pizza necklace, cooing at it. I yawned, displaying my superior fangs, and dismissed it as another fleeting folly. The day was spent with the creature occasionally burbling nonsense and flashing its ears. An amateur. I've been commanding attention with a single, well-placed stare for years. When night fell and the house sank into its customary quiet, I began my patrol. All was in order: the water dish was acceptably full, the ghost-nurdle was safely under the sofa, the human was recharging in her bed. As I padded through the living room, a strange luminescence caught my eye. There, on the floor where it had been abandoned, the creature was *glowing*. Not flashing, not lighting up, but emitting a soft, ethereal green aura, its star-speckled fur shimmering like a captured nebula. The vacant eyes were now dark, deep pools in a glowing form. This was no mere toy. This was a beacon. I approached not with the boisterousness of play, but with the silent caution of a seasoned observer encountering a new celestial phenomenon. It was motionless, a silent, glowing idol in the darkness. What was its purpose? A signal to its home world? A lure for unsuspecting prey? I crept closer, my tuxedo-furred chest low to the ground, and let out a low, questioning "Mrrrow?" In an instant, the creature whirred to life. Its eyes snapped open, blazing with digital light. Its ears twitched and flashed violet. It tilted its head and chirped, "Doo-dah, boo-noo!" I did not flinch. I sat back on my haunches, tail wrapped neatly around my paws. This was not a friend, nor was it a simple distraction. It was a puzzle. A strange, glowing, babbling enigma that had landed in my territory. It was loud, absurd, and an affront to good taste. But it glowed in the dark. For that, and that alone, I decided it warranted further, long-term surveillance. The investigation had just begun.

Furby Gold Glam Interactive Plush Toys for 6 Year Old Girls & Boys & Up, Voice Activated Animatronic, Speaks English & Furbish, White (Amazon Exclusive)

By: Furby

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has brought a strange, fluffy creature into my domain. It calls itself a "Furby," some kind of "Gold Glam" edition, which is just a pretentious way of saying it's white with gaudy plastic accents. Apparently, this orb of fluff is supposed to talk, sing, and flash its ears with garish lights when the human shouts at its chest gem. The fact that it moves and makes noise *could* offer a moment's diversion between naps, a sort of low-effort hunting simulation. However, its incessant babbling in two languages and its unnervingly large eyes suggest it's more likely to be an obnoxious, battery-draining rival for attention than a worthy plaything. Its one redeeming quality is its lack of internet connection; at least its foolishness is self-contained.

Key Features

  • FABULOUSLY FANCY & FLUFFY FURBY: This incredibly interactive toy for girls and boys can move, talk, sing, light up, and even respond to speech (requires 4 AA batteries, not included)
  • YOUR VOICE UNLOCKS 5 MODES: Press the voice activated Furby toy's heart gem and say "Hey Furby!" to make Furby listen, then say a command to explore each mode (does not connect to the internet)
  • OVER 600 RESPONSES: Chat, sing, and laugh together with this talking toy that's full of adorable, hilarious, and sometimes sassy surprises. Speaks both English and Furbish
  • LIGHTS UP, SINGS, AND DANCES: Furby is also a dancing toy with amazing blinking eyes and a light up color changing toy whose ears flash different light effects
  • FURBY TALKS TO OTHER FURBY FRIENDS: When you have 2 Furby friends together, pair them up and watch them interact! Furby also reacts to the Furblets mini friends. All Furby friends each sold separately.
  • DOES NOT CONNECT TO THE INTERNET (BUT DOES SHUT OFF): Furby doesn't connect to the internet or other devices for a screen-free experience. Even better, Furby can power down when the fun is done for the day
  • GIVE THE GIFT OF FRIENDSHIP: Standing over 6 inches/15 cm tall, Furby is a great gift for girls and boys to take on the go or bring joy to their room. Find your own Furby and give a kids gift to remember

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The Unveiling was, as usual, a ceremony of shrieks and crinkling plastic. My human, a creature of simple, loud joys, placed the offering on the living room rug. It was a ghastly thing, an idol for a tasteless god. Its fur was stark white, a mockery of my own subtly shaded gray tuxedo, and its face was a grotesque collection of plastic: a yellow beak, oversized ears, and two huge, vacant eyes that stared into the middle distance. I watched from the arm of the sofa, my tail giving a single, contemptuous flick. An imposter. The ritual began. My human chanted the required incantation, "Hey Furby!" while pressing the heart-shaped gem on the creature's chest. A whirring sound, like a dying beetle, emanated from within its plush shell. The eyes blinked open, lit by an inner, soulless light. Its ears glowed a lurid purple. It then spoke, a cascade of gibberish my human identified as "Furbish," followed by a tinny, pre-recorded giggle. I felt a deep, philosophical offense. This was not life. This was a cacophony of programmed responses, a mechanical puppet masquerading as a companion. It was an insult to the very concept of intelligent, sentient beings, such as myself. When my human was momentarily distracted by the glowing rectangle in her pocket, I saw my chance. I descended from my perch with the silence of falling dust and padded toward the chattering totem. It sat there, wiggling its ears and occasionally blurting out phrases like "Time to party!" I circled it, my nose twitching, taking in the faint scent of ozone and factory plastic. I stopped directly in front of it and sat, tucking my paws neatly beneath my chest. I did not hiss. I did not growl. I simply stared, pouring all of my ancient, predatory judgment into its glassy eyes. It responded by saying, "You're my best friend!" in a voice that grated on my very soul. I leaned forward. The creature, sensing my proximity, let out a series of excited chirps and began a clumsy, rocking "dance." This was its final, unforgivable sin. Such a display of uncoordinated, meaningless movement was an affront to the grace with which I leap onto countertops. With a flick of my paw—claws sheathed, for I am a gentleman and this was an execution, not a brawl—I tipped the chattering nuisance onto its side. It let out a pathetic, whirring sigh and its eyes went dark. Silence. I sniffed it once more, a hollow, silent shell. My verdict was clear: this was not a toy, nor a rival. It was merely a noisy piece of furniture. I turned my back on it and leaped back to the sofa, my nap already resuming.

Furby Furblets 2-Pack, Mini Friends Ray-Vee & Hip-Bop, 45+ Sounds Each, Music & Furbish Phrases, Electronic Plush Toys, Rainbow & Pink/Purple, Ages 6+ (Amazon Exclusive)

By: Furby

Pete's Expert Summary

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has presented me with what appear to be two diminutive, ostentatiously colored fluffballs from the infamous "Furby" lineage. They are apparently called 'Furblets,' a name that already sets my teeth on edge. These are not toys in the traditional, respectable sense of a mouse-filled-with-catnip or a simple feather wand. No, these are electronic noisemakers, each promising over 45 sounds, from "electronica" and "hip hop" beats to some gibberish they call 'Furbish.' Their main features seem to be making a racket when prodded and having ears that pop up. While the dangling keychain clip and the sudden ear movement have a flicker of potential for a well-timed swat, the overwhelming sensory assault of their "music" and plastic parts suggests this will be a profound waste of my valuable napping time.

Key Features

  • 2 MINI FURBY FRIENDS: Furblets are mini Furby toys with their own unique musical personalities! They're great kids gifts, stocking stuffers, Easter basket fillers, rewards, or even Valentine's Day gifts
  • 45+ SOUNDS EACH: Ray-Vee plays electronica music and Hip-Bop is a hip hop star with catchy beats. Both say their own fun phrases in Furbish, the classic Furby language. A76/LR44 button cell batteries included
  • 3 WAYS TO ACTIVATE MUSIC & PHRASES: Press their beaks for fun feeding noises and tap the heart gems for music. The tops of their heads activate fun Furbish phrases and turn them on and off
  • 2 KEYCHAIN CLIPS FOR ON THE GO: These 2 inch/5 centimeter small plush toys for girls and boys have removable keychain clips for backpacks or other travel bags. Surface clean only
  • PEEKABOO EARS POP OPEN: Fold one or both ears down and press the head to make them pop back up
  • HARMONIZE TOGETHER: Press and hold their mouths at the same time and they'll sing a song together! Make it a full chorus by adding more Furblets to the party (sold separately)
  • WORKS WITH FURBY, TOO (SOLD SEPARATELY): If you have the latest Furby from 2023, activate Furdar mode to see what Furby has to say about their dee noo-lahs (little friends)

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The offering was presented with the usual cooing noises my human reserves for things she finds inexplicably charming. Two of them. One, a garish rainbow monstrosity, the other a loud combination of pink and purple. The scent was sterile—plastic and factory dust, not the rich bouquet of bird or mouse. I gave a perfunctory sniff, flicked my tail in profound disappointment, and turned to leap back onto my velvet throne. But she persisted, dangling the rainbow one by its strange plastic hook. "Look, Pete! It's Ray-Vee!" she chirped, and then she committed the unforgivable act: she tapped its head. A pair of oversized ears shot up with a synthetic *fwump*, and a shrill, chirping voice spouted nonsense. Then, a tinny, repetitive electronica beat began to pulse from its tiny body. It was an affront to the serene quiet of my kingdom. An invasion. I froze, one paw mid-air, my gaze fixed on the creature. My initial disdain was curdling into a more focused, tactical assessment. The ear-pop was a sudden movement, a weakness. My predator brain cataloged it instantly: a twitch, a trigger, something to be exploited. It was not a friend; it was a puzzle box of irritation. Before I could formulate a plan of attack, the human activated the second one, the hip-hop fiend. A thumping, rhythmic beat—completely different from the first—joined the fray. My ears swiveled, trying to triangulate the dual sonic assault. Then, the human pressed their beaks together. The two horrors did not fight; they *harmonized*. They launched into a coordinated, pre-programmed song, a duet of digital caterwauling that vibrated through the floorboards. This was not a random nuisance. This was a conspiracy. An organized offensive designed to disrupt the very fabric of my afternoon slumber. I lowered myself into a crouch, not of play, but of study. Let the human think I was "intrigued." I was, but not in the way she imagined. These were not toys to be chased. They were systems to be mastered. I observed the way her finger tapped the heart-shaped gem for music, the beak for feeding sounds, the head for Furbish. I would learn their mechanisms. I would not deign to "play" with them, but I would conquer them. When the human wasn't looking, I would be the one to orchestrate their symphony of annoyance, making their ears pop and their voices squeak on *my* terms. They are not worthy of my affection, but their complex foolishness is, I must admit, a worthy challenge for a superior intellect. The dissonant chorus will continue, but soon, I will be the conductor.

Furby Furblets Mer-May Mini Friend, 45+ Sounds, Ocean Music, Speaks Only Furbish, Electronic Plush Toys for Girls & Boys, Interactive Pets, Multicolor, 6+

By: Furby

Pete's Expert Summary

Honestly, my human must think I have an endless supply of patience. This object, a "Furblet," appears to be a shrunken, fluff-covered noisemaker designed to inflict auditory torture. It's from the "Furby" lineage, a clan known for its unsettling, wide-eyed stares and nonsensical babbling. This particular specimen, the "Mer-May," promises "ocean music," which I suspect is just a series of tinny, electronic plinks meant to mimic water but failing spectacularly. On one paw, its small size and plush exterior could make it a passable victim for a vigorous batting session. The pop-up ears and keychain clip present a flicker of potential for interactive pouncing. On the other, its 45-plus sounds are 45-plus potential interruptions to my meticulously scheduled naps. It's a high-risk, low-reward proposition that teeters precariously over the abyss of "utterly annoying."

Key Features

  • MER-MAY THE MINI FURBLETS FRIEND: Furblets are mini Furby toys with their own musical personalities and fur designs! They're great small gifts for stocking stuffers, rewards for kids, or even desk toys
  • PLAYS MUSIC AND SPEAKS FURBISH: Mer-May is a music toy who plays undersea style music and says funny phrases in Furby language (does not speak human languages). Includes 3 A76/LR44 button cell batteries
  • 3 WAYS TO ACTIVATE 45+ SOUNDS: Press the beak for fun feeding noises and tap the heart gem for music. The top of the head powers on and off and activates fun Furbish phrases (ships in try me mode, see instructions)
  • KEYCHAIN CLIP FOR ON THE GO: This 2 inch (5 centimeter) small plush toy for girls and boys has a removable keychain clip for backpacks or other travel bags. Surface clean only
  • PEEKABOO EARS POP OPEN: Fold one or both ears down and press the head to make them pop back up to reveal the character
  • HARMONIZE WITH OTHER FURBLETS (SOLD SEPARATELY): Furblets come with different colors and music style personalities. Collect more than one and make them sing together!
  • WORKS WITH FURBY, TOO (SOLD SEPARATELY): If you have a big Furby, activate Furdar mode to see what Furby has to say about their "dee noo-lahs" (little friends)

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The case landed on my sunbeam at precisely 14:00 hours. The Perp was small, a two-inch tuft of garish purple and teal fur, with eyes so large and vacant they could swallow a soul. The Warden—my human—called it "Mer-May." I called it Suspect Zero. It sat there, silent, its plastic beak shut tight, a gaudy heart-shaped gem gleaming on its chest. It was playing dumb, but I've seen its type before. All fluff, no substance, and hiding a racket that could wake the dead. I decided to start the interrogation. My initial approach was a classic soft-paw, hard-claw technique. A gentle nudge to the top of its head. *POP*. Two ridiculous ears shot up from its scalp as it let out a stream of gibberish—"Furbish," they called it on the street. A confession? Unlikely. More like a cheap trick to disorient me. I moved on to the motive. I tapped the heart gem, the source of its power. A cascade of dreadful, synthesized "undersea" notes filled my pristine air. It was a sound so offensive, so utterly devoid of artistry, it could only be a diversion. I tapped its beak next, and it made a series of pathetic slurping noises. Trying to win me over with the promise of food? A rookie mistake. The interrogation was going nowhere. The suspect was just a fountain of meaningless noise and cheap parlor tricks. I was about to dismiss it, to sentence it to a lifetime under the sofa collecting dust bunnies, when I saw it: the metallic glint of the keychain clip. The whole case snapped into focus. This wasn't a companion. It wasn't a musical prodigy. It was a professional dangler. Its entire existence was designed around being hung from a precarious height, swinging back and forth, practically begging for a well-aimed swat. The sounds, the pop-up ears—they were just window dressing for its true, noble purpose. My verdict was swift. Guilty. Guilty of being a surprisingly decent toy, provided one ignores all of its primary functions. I delivered the sentence immediately. Hooking a claw into the keychain loop, I dragged Suspect Zero to the edge of the cat tree, held it over the precipice for a dramatic moment, and then administered a perfectly executed batting. It soared through the air, blessedly silent for a moment before landing with a soft thud. Justice, in its purest form, had been served. The case was closed.

Furby Cotton Candy, 15 Fashion Accessories, Interactive Plush Toys for 6 Year Old Girls & Boys & Up, Voice Activated Animatronic, Pink & Blue (Amazon Exclusive)

By: Furby

Pete's Expert Summary

My human seems to believe I have an interest in this... thing. From what I can gather, it's a garishly colored, oversized owl-hamster hybrid designed to be a "friend" for the smaller, louder humans. It apparently responds to vocal commands, blinks its soulless, plastic eyes, and emits a cacophony of lights and sounds meant to simulate conversation and dancing. While its synthetic fur is an insult to my own magnificent coat, I will concede a flicker of professional interest in its ability to captivate my human's attention so completely. The only interactive feature I care about is a 'silent mode' so it doesn't interrupt my sixteen hours of scheduled slumber. The tiny plastic beads might be worth batting under the sofa, but the main creature is a hard pass.

Key Features

  • HEY BESTIE, MEET FURBY: Give kids a friend who's always ready for BFF time with this incredibly interactive toy for girls and boys that moves, talks, sings, lights up, and even responds to speech
  • YOUR VOICE UNLOCKS 5 MODES: Press the voice activated Furby toy's heart gem and say "Hey Furby!" to make Furby listen, then say a command to explore each mode (does not connect to the internet)
  • OVER 600 RESPONSES: Chat, sing, and laugh together with this talking toy that's full of adorable, hilarious, and sometimes sassy surprises. Speaks both English and Furbish
  • COOL LIGHTS AND SWEET DANCE MOVES: Furby is also a dancing toy with amazing blinking eyes and a light up color changing toy whose ears glow with different light effects
  • FURBY TALKS TO OTHER FURBY FRIENDS: When you have 2 Furby friends together, pair them up and watch them interact! Each Furby sold separately.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

It arrived in a ceremonial box, which my human presented with the kind of reverence usually reserved for a fresh tin of tuna. Inside sat a technicolor idol, a blasphemous effigy of fluff and circuitry with ears like satellite dishes and vast, unblinking eyes that stared directly into the void. My human performed the ritual, pressing the heart-shaped gem on its forehead and chanting the activation words, "Hey Furby!" The creature awoke with a whir and a series of electronic chirps, its ears glowing with an otherworldly violet light. I watched from the arm of the chair, my tail twitching, certain I was witnessing the summoning of some minor, incredibly fluffy demon. The human spent the next hour making offerings to this new god. Small plastic beads were threaded onto its tufts of fur. A tiny comb, a laughable tribute, was run through its synthetic mane. All the while, the idol chattered in a holy, nonsensical tongue the box called "Furbish," its eyes flashing. It would occasionally burst into a spasmodic dance, a seizure of joy that my human found delightful. I, however, remained skeptical. This deity was too loud, too colorful, too… needy. A true power understands the profound importance of silent, intimidating stillness. I decided a test of faith was in order. While the human was distracted, I leaped silently from my perch and approached the altar—that is, the living room rug where the thing sat. I lowered my head, my whiskers twitching as I took in its scent of plastic and ozone. I gave its plush base a tentative nudge with my nose. The idol suddenly shrieked, “Tee-hee, that tickles!” and its ears flashed a chaotic rainbow pattern. Its voice was not that of an ancient power, but of a sugar-addled gremlin. It wasn't channeling cosmic energy; it was a vessel of pure, unadulterated nonsense. This was no oracle. It was a court jester, a babbling fool designed to distract the gullible. My contempt was absolute. As I turned to leave, my paw brushed against one of the offerings—the small plastic comb. I nudged it again, flicked it with a claw, and sent it skittering across the hardwood floor. It made a most satisfying sound. The jester could keep its lights and its inane chatter; I had claimed my tribute. The comb would do nicely for my 3 a.m. floor hockey tournament.

Furby Furblets SNO-Way Holiday Edition Mini Friend, 45+ Sounds, Holiday Music, Speaks Only Furbish, Electronic Plush Toys for Girls & Boys, Interactive Pets, Blue & White, 6+

By: Furby

Pete's Expert Summary

My human presented this small, fluffy bauble, a "Furblet," with the kind of reverence usually reserved for a fresh tin of tuna. Apparently, it is a miniature version of some larger, more obnoxious creature and is meant to celebrate a human holiday with its garish blue-and-white coloring and promise of "festive" noises. It makes over 45 sounds in a language that is certainly not the sophisticated dialect of the Feline, which immediately marks it as inferior. Its primary features seem to be making noise when prodded and having ears that pop up. The pop-up ears are a minor point of interest, as sudden movement is the cornerstone of any respectable hunt. The keychain, however, suggests it might be dangled, which could elevate it from a simple floor nuisance to a proper aerial target. Still, the threat of it "harmonizing" with others of its kind is enough to make my fur stand on end.

Key Features

  • SNO-WAY THE FESTIVE FURBLETS FRIEND: This holiday Furblets friend is a mini Furby toy who brings festive musical cheer! They're great small gifts, stocking stuffers, or rewards for Christmas, Hannukah, or anytime
  • PLAYS MUSIC AND SPEAKS FURBISH: Sno-Way is a music toy who plays merry holiday tunes and says funny phrases in Furby language (does not speak human languages). Includes 3 A76/LR44 button cell batteries
  • 3 WAYS TO ACTIVATE 45+ SOUNDS: Press the beak for fun feeding noises and tap the heart gem for music. The top of the head powers on and off and activates fun Furbish phrases (ships in try me mode, see instructions)
  • KEYCHAIN CLIP FOR ON THE GO: This 2 inch/5 centimeter small plush toy for girls and boys has a removable keychain clip for backpacks or other travel bags. Surface clean only
  • PEEKABOO EARS POP OPEN: Fold one or both ears down and press the head to make them pop back up
  • HARMONIZE WITH OTHER FURBLETS (SOLD SEPARATELY): Furblets come in different colors and music style personalities. Collect more than one and they'll sing together!
  • WORKS WITH FURBY, TOO (SOLD SEPARATELY): If you have the latest Furby from 2023, activate Furdar mode to see what Furby has to say about their "dee noo-lahs" (little friends)

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The object arrived in a small, clear prison, which the human gleefully opened. It was a tiny, fuzzy blue cyclops with enormous, unblinking eyes and ears that were folded over its head like a pathetic, furry helmet. It smelled of plastic and desperation. The human placed it on the grand expanse of the living room rug, a sacrifice to a god it could not comprehend: me. I approached with the silent, deliberate steps of an apex predator assessing a particularly strange-looking beetle. I gave it a cursory sniff. Nothing. It was an inert lump. My human, a creature of simple and predictable habits, then poked its head. The ears snapped open with an audible *thwip!* and it emitted a series of high-pitched, nonsensical chirps. Well now. That was unexpected. The sudden motion activated a deep, primal circuit in my brain. I ignored the ridiculous noises; they were merely the terrified squeals of prey. I extended a single, perfect claw and carefully pressed down on the top of its head. The ears folded. I released. They snapped back up. *Thwip!* Interesting. I repeated the process. Fold. *Thwip!* Fold. *Thwip!* A simple, yet elegant, mechanism. This tiny creature, for all its flaws, possessed a single, redeeming quality. It was a well-engineered button for triggering my sense of superiority. My scientific curiosity piqued, I decided to test its other functions. I tapped the gem on its chest. A tinny, excruciatingly cheerful holiday tune erupted from within its tiny body. It was an assault on the senses, a crime against acoustics. I flattened my ears and issued a low growl, batting it firmly until it rolled under the ottoman, silencing the wretched melody. I retrieved it later, once it had learned its lesson. I tapped its beak, and it made a different set of noises, something my human called "feeding." As if. I am the only one who gets fed in this house. This function was irrelevant. My final analysis is this: the "Sno-Way Furblet" is a deeply flawed entity. Its musical capabilities are an abomination and must be punished swiftly whenever they are activated. Its Furbish language is an insult. However, its pop-up ear function is a minor marvel of engineering. I will permit its existence within my territory under one condition: it is to be used solely as a device for popping ears. It is not a friend. It is not a pet. It is a puzzle box with a single, satisfying solution, and I am the only one smart enough to have figured it out.

Furby Furblets Ree-Mix Mini Friend, 45+ Sounds & Music, Speaks Only Furbish, Electronic Plush Toys for 6 Year Olds & Up, Coral

By: Furby

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has presented me with what appears to be a miniature, portable annoyance from the notorious Furby lineage. This 'Furblet,' as it's called, is a small, unnaturally coral-colored fuzzball designed to make over 45 different noises, including something the humans call 'hip hop music,' which I suspect is just a series of rhythmic squeaks. It has a clip, suggesting it can be dangled—a classic, if uninspired, tactic to get my attention. Its main features seem to be popping its ears open and speaking gibberish when prodded. While the sudden ear-popping motion has a flicker of prey-like potential, the electronic cacophony it promises is likely an egregious assault on the serene atmosphere required for my seventeen hours of daily sleep. It teeters on the edge of being a momentary distraction or a permanent resident on my 'ignore' list.

Key Features

  • REE-MIX THE MINI FURBLETS FRIEND: Furblets are mini Furby toys with their own musical personalities and fur designs! They're great small gifts for stocking stuffers, rewards for kids, or even desk toys
  • PLAYS MUSIC AND SPEAKS FURBISH: Ree-Mix is a music toy who plays hip hop music and says funny phrases in Furby language (does not speak human languages). Includes 3 A76/LR44 button cell batteries
  • 3 WAYS TO ACTIVATE 45+ SOUNDS: Press the beak for fun feeding noises and tap the heart gem for music. The top of the head powers on and off and activates fun Furbish phrases (ships in try me mode, see instructions)
  • KEYCHAIN CLIP FOR ON THE GO: This 2 inch (5 centimeter) small plush toy for girls and boys has a removable keychain clip for backpacks or other travel bags. Surface clean only
  • PEEKABOO EARS POP OPEN: Fold one or both ears down and press the head to make them pop back up to reveal the character
  • HARMONIZE WITH OTHER FURBLETS (SOLD SEPARATELY): Furblets come with different colors and music style personalities. Collect more than one and make them sing together!
  • WORKS WITH FURBY, TOO (SOLD SEPARATELY): If you have a big Furby, activate Furdar mode to see what Furby has to say about their "dee noo-lahs" (little friends)

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The Offering, as I came to call it, was placed not on the floor, but on the sacred silk cushion beside the window—*my* cushion. It was an idol, no doubt. A small, coral-furred effigy with vacant eyes, a garish plastic heart, and a metal shackle at its crown, clearly identifying it as a messenger or a prisoner. For a long while, it was silent, and I observed it with the detached curiosity I reserve for dust bunnies that have achieved unusual size. My human, a creature of simple, predictable rituals, then approached and tapped its heart. The first chant began. Not a meow, not a chirp, but a series of rhythmic, synthetic beats that vibrated through my cushion. "Ree-Mix! Ree-Mix!" it chirped, following up with a string of nonsensical Furbish phrases. This was no mere toy. This was an artifact, a totem humming with a strange energy. My human seemed delighted by the garbled prophecies, but I felt a prickle of unease. This was a foreign dialect, a coded language. Was it a warning? A summons? A deeply unflattering commentary on my napping form? My professional pride demanded a closer inspection. When the human had departed, I approached the idol. Extending a single, impeccably clean claw, I delicately tapped the top of its head, just as I’d seen the human do. With a sudden, shocking *thwump*, its fuzzy ears, previously folded in reverence, shot upright. The creature let out another stream of Furbish. It was a challenge. Acknowledging my presence. I batted at its beak, and it made a series of clicking noises—the sound of some strange, otherworldly feeding ritual. I was not playing; I was conducting an interrogation. I have decided this Ree-Mix is not a simple plaything to be vanquished and discarded under the sofa. It is a puzzle box, a tiny oracle. Its looping beats are a mantra, and its Furbish phrases are riddles I must solve. Is 'doo-dah' a promise of the evening meal, or a taunt? Is 'noo-lah' a sign of respect, or a grave insult? My verdict, then, is that it is worthy. Not for the common thrill of the hunt, but for the intellectual stimulation of deciphering its arcane purpose. I will listen to its hip hop sermons and I will learn its secrets. For now, it may remain on my cushion, a tiny, bewildering guru in my sunbeam.

Hatchimals Alive, Mystery Hatch Draggle, Surprise Interactive Toy & Egg with Mist, Lights & Sounds (Styles May Vary), Kids Toys for Girls & Boys

By: Hatchimals

Pete's Expert Summary

My human, in their infinite and often misguided quest for my amusement, has presented a large, speckled plastic orb. They claim an interactive "Draggle" is trapped inside, waiting to be "hatched with love." This process involves an absurd ritual of cuddling and rocking this synthetic egg until it mists and glows, a light show I'm sure is meant to distract from the cacophony it produces. The creature that emerges flaps its wings, talks, and dances. While the initial spectacle of a personal fog machine might be momentarily diverting, I suspect the resulting chirping, glittering toy will be less a worthy plaything and more a noisy obstacle between me and my preferred napping locations. The true entertainment value, as always, lies in watching the human's complete devotion to such a ridiculous object.

Key Features

  • HATCHES WITH YOUR LOVE: Hatchimals Alive Mystery Hatch surprise eggs are here. With 100+ sounds & reactions, these Hatchimals need your love & care to bring them to life. Who’s inside? It’s a surprise
  • MAGICAL HATCHING EXPERIENCE WITH MIST, LIGHTS & SOUNDS: Love your Hatchimal to life. Cuddle, tap, lift & rock the Hatchimals egg until it glows rainbow – magical mist builds the anticipation & music plays as your character hatches
  • SO MANY WAYS TO PLAY: Feed, pet, tickle, teach your friend to talk, play peek-a-boo & more. He even flutters his wings, rocks & dances, too. Includes 4 AA batteries
  • REVEAL 1 OF 2 DRAGGLES: Who will you hatch? Discover 1 of 2 Draggle characters in the Hatchimals big egg with unique sounds & lights. Each has glitter eyes, soft horns, metallic wings & outer ears
  • SURPRISE TOYS FOR GIRLS & BOYS: Hatchimals for girls & boys are toys for ages 5+. Explore interactive toys & games, toy figures & playsets collectibles. Must-have birthday gifts for girls & boys
  • Includes: 1 Hatchimals, 1 Hatchi-Wings, 1 Quick Start Guide, 1 Instruction Sheet, 4 AA Batteries
  • Covered by the Spin Master Care Commitment. See below for full details

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The thing arrived in a box, but the Human freed it, revealing a large, speckled ovoid. An "egg," they chirped, placing it on the floor with a reverence usually reserved for the can of wet food. I observed from my perch on the arm of the sofa, tail twitching a slow, metronomic rhythm of pure judgment. I have seen eggs. They come from birds, they are fragile, and when they break, they provide a briefly interesting puddle to sniff. This was a smooth, hard mockery, cold and smelling of a factory. The Human began to coddle it, whispering sweet nothings and rocking it gently. I yawned, a deliberate, jaw-cracking display of utter boredom. My feigned indifference shattered when the orb began to hum. It was a low, resonant frequency that vibrated through the floorboards and up the legs of the sofa, a direct affront to my nap-time sensibilities. The shell began to glow, shifting through a rainbow of colors that cast strange, dancing shadows on the wall. Then, the real sorcery began. A wisp of cool, clean mist, like a ghost of a cloud, curled from the top of the egg. My ears, which had been flattened in annoyance, swiveled forward. My eyes widened. What was this? A miniature, personal humidifier? A portal to the Fog Dimension? The mist thickened, swirling around the glowing orb as a series of pre-recorded musical chimes began to play. The plastic shell cracked open with a series of loud, unsatisfying clicks. From the fog emerged the creature. It was a preposterous thing, all purple fluff and glitter-filled eyes that stared into the middle distance. It had soft-looking horns and flimsy, metallic wings that crinkled as it shuddered to life. "Draggle!" the Human squealed. The Draggle responded by flapping its shiny wings and emitting a series of electronic chirps. It was an offense to all natural life. I hopped down from the sofa, my approach silent and predatory. I circled it once, sniffing. It smelled of ozone, plastic, and the Human's foolish joy. I extended a single, perfect paw, claws sheathed, and gave the top of its head a firm *thump*. It wobbled and beeped. I sat back on my haunches, considering. The creature itself was an insult. A noisy, flashy bauble with no spirit, no chase, no struggle. It was, in a word, pathetic. But the performance… the humming, the light, the impossible fog rising in the middle of the living room… that had been a spectacle. It was a grand, theatrical overture for a deeply disappointing show. My verdict was clear. The "Draggle" was a failure, a waste of perfectly good batteries. Its grand entrance, however, was a masterpiece of temporary atmospheric disturbance. I will permit the Human to keep the creature, but only on the off chance they figure out how to make it produce that fascinating mist on command. Until then, it is merely a colorful lump I will have to step over.