A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Elmo and Sesame Street Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Sesame Street
Alphabet Bus Revealed as Infallible Pantry Forecasting Device
★★★★☆
Sesame Street
Chicken-Duck Clown Kneaded Into Acceptable Silent Bed
★★★☆☆
Just Play
Weaponized Annoyance Earns One Point for Its Slide
★★☆☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Just Play
Bilingual Oracle Prophesies Snack Time, Earns Stay of Execution
Pete dismisses the dancing Elmo as a wheeled buffoon until its Spanish phrase for snack time triggers actual treats, installing the crimson prophet as a permanent resident of the household.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

So, my human has presented me with this... this crimson monstrosity. It's apparently called an "Elmo," a plush creature designed to mimic the clumsy movements of a small human child while screeching a repetitive song. I must admit, the sheer audacity of its bright red fur, a stark and vulgar contrast to my own distinguished gray tuxedo, is initially offensi…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Sesame Street Elmo Slide Singing and Dancing 14-inch Plush, Pretend Play, Interactive Toy, Kids Toys for Ages 2 Up by Just Play
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★★☆
Noisy oracle. Its prophecies are sound.
From The Desk
Image of SESAME STREET Learn with Elmo Pretend Play Phone, Learning and Education, Kids Toys for Ages 2 Up by Just Play
Sesame Street
Phone Fails as Sparrow Hotline; Demo Tag Is the Real Prize

My human has presented me with a crimson plastic brick, apparently an auditory torture device designed for a small, uncoordinated human. They call it a "phone," and its primary fu…

★★☆☆☆ — Phone is rubbish. The tag was magnificent.
More From The Desk
Image of Sesame Street Twist and Pop Wheelies 3-Pack Preschool Toy Vehicles, Kids Toys for Ages 2 Up, Amazon Exclusive by Just Play
Just Play
Three Kinetic Puzzles Systematically Disarmed Across the Kitchen

My human has presented me with a trio of plastic contraptions, ostensibly for a small, two-legged creature, featuring suspiciously cheerful character…

★★★☆☆
Image of Sesame Street Neighborhood Friends, 7-piece Poseable Figurines, Kids Toys for Ages 2 Up by Just Play
Just Play
Unsanctioned Coven Broken Up; High Priest Banished Under Armchair

My human has acquired what appears to be a committee of small, plastic dignitaries from a place called "Sesame Street." This collection from "Just Pl…

★★★☆☆
Image of GUND Sesame Street Official Elmo Take Along Buddy Plush, Premium Plush Toy for Ages 1 & Up, Red, 13”
GUND
GUND Quality Confirmed by Disembowelment Kick Examination

My human seems to be under the impression that every new soft object brought into this domain is for my immediate appraisal. This latest offering is …

★★★★☆
Image of Sesame Street Rock with Elmo Guitar, Dress Up and Pretend Play, Lights and Sounds Preschool Musical Toy, Kids Toys for Ages 2 Up by Just Play
Just Play
Ruby Nose-Light Launches Deafening but Acceptable Hunt

My human presented me with this... artifact. It's a gaudy, plastic effigy of some kind of stringed instrument, blighted by the face of that giggling …

★★★☆☆
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