Pete's Expert Summary
So my human brought home a box from a brand called "Magic," which is a bold claim for something containing no tuna or live prey. From what I can gather, this is a ritual where several humans sit around a table and deploy an army of colorful, stiff paper rectangles against one another. This specific box is themed around something they call a "Fallout," which sounds like a rather messy thing to have on the carpet. The whole "Science!" deck concept is laughable; the only science that matters is the precise trajectory calculation required to land on the softest part of a sleeping human. The main stack of 100 cards seems like a monumental waste of perfectly good napping time, though the two shiny "Collector" cards might be just slick enough to bat under the refrigerator, and the box itself shows some promise as a mid-afternoon snoozing receptacle.
Key Features
- THE VAULTS ARE OPEN—Journey through the wastes with a 100-card deck introducing 38 never-before-seen Magic cards featuring fan-favorite characters, thematic game mechanics, and art that explores the post-nuclear world of the Fallout series
- BATTLE YOUR FELLOW WASTELANDERS—Battle your friends in epic 3–5 player MTG games full of strategic plays and social intrigue; ready-to-play right out of the box, these preconstructed decks let you jump straight into the action
- SCIENCE.—Choose the Science. deck to ally with the brilliant Dr. Madison Li, harnessing the power of technology to fight for the fate of earth
- COLLECT SPECIAL FALLOUT CARD TREATMENTS—Each deck comes with a Collector Booster Sample pack containing 2 special alt-frame cards, including 1 Rare or Mythic Rare card
- EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO PLAY AND MORE—Each deck also comes with 10 double-sided tokens, 1 life tracker, 1 strategy guide, and 1 deck box (can hold 100 sleeved cards)
- A GAME THAT FUSES ART, STORIES and STRATEGY—Magic: The Gathering is a collectible card game that weaves deep strategy with art and mechanics that explore the themes of a particular world and story—whether you want to play a casual game with friends, collect cool cards, or get competitive, Magic welcomes you to The Gathering
A Tale from Pete the Cat
The box arrived with the scent of a thousand pressed trees and cheap ink, an olfactory offense I tolerated only out of professional curiosity. My human, along with two of his equally loud companions, cleared the dining table—my auxiliary napping dais—and unsealed the container. They laid out the cards, chattering about "energy artifacts" and some woman named "Dr. Madison Li." Honestly, the only doctor I respect is the one who prescribes my salmon-flavored vitamin paste. I watched from the arm of the sofa, my tail twitching in mild irritation. They tapped the cards, slid them across the playmats, and made pronouncements with the gravity of world leaders deciding my dinner schedule. It was all so... structured. So predictable. Their "strategy" was an open book, and frankly, a dull read. After ten minutes of this tedious display, I decided an intervention was necessary. With a silent leap, I landed in the center of the table, a soft gray monolith of judgment amidst their paper battlefield. They tried to shoo me. "Pete, get down!" my human pleaded. I ignored him, fixing my gaze on his collection of cards on the table. He had arranged them in neat little rows, a monument to his fragile sense of order. I sniffed at a card depicting a floating robot, then deliberately, with the exquisite precision of a predator, laid my entire body across his "untapped lands." His primary resource engine was now a pillow. He sighed in exasperation, but his friend laughed. "Looks like Pete has a new strategy: resource denial." Fools. It wasn't a strategy; it was a statement. I was demonstrating the fundamental flaw in their entire system: its utter vulnerability to a superior, more comfortable life-form. They could plan for a "Radstorm" or a "Deathclaw," but they had no defense against a well-timed nap. I closed my eyes, purring with the satisfaction of having won a game I hadn't even deigned to play. The cards themselves are worthless, but the opportunity they provide to assert my dominance over the proceedings? Priceless. The toy is worthy, if only as a stage for my own tactical genius.
