A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Geology Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Lead Review · From: Blue Marble
Crystal Shards Deliver Accurate Prophecy of Late Dinner
Our critic ignores the geology entirely and reads each cracked geode as an oracle, correctly decoding omens of a vet visit, a forty-five-minute dinner delay, and a forthcoming kibble windfall.

My human, in a fit of what they call "intellectual curiosity," has acquired a box of... rocks. Fancy rocks, apparently, from a brand called National Geographic, which I believe is a television channel I occasionally watch when a particularly slow-moving gazelle is featured. The premise is appallingly crude: the biped is meant to put on silly-looking glasses…

Continued on the story page →
Image of NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC Break Open 10 Premium Geodes – Includes Goggles and 2 Display Stands - Great STEM Science Kit, Geology Gift for Kids, Break Your Own Geodes with Crystals, Toys for Boys and Girls
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★☆☆
Critical intelligence. The smashing may continue.
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