A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Creative Kit Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
LAOESE
Cyclops-Cat Lamp Wins Despite Catastrophic Aesthetic Failure
★★★☆☆
Made By Me
Beads Spill; One Perfect Black Sphere Escapes to Glory
★★★☆☆
Kiditos
Glitter Octopus Wobbles Into Scientific Log as Moderate Success
★★★☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Lulu Jr.
Published as the Grumpy Slug; Pete Claims Credit Anyway
Pete dismisses the Illustory kit as weeks of table-appropriation and clumsy art until the finished hardcover names him as the villain's muse, whereupon he sits on the book and claims the tribute.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

So, my human has presented me with this... box. It’s not a box for sitting, which is its first and most glaring failure. It appears to be a kit for the smaller, louder human to create a book. It contains paper, some offensively pungent marking sticks, and the audacious promise of turning the small one’s crude scribbles into a "professionally printed hardcov…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Lulu Jr. Illustory Book Making Kit, Multicolor
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★☆☆
Libel, but the acknowledgment is mine.
From The Desk
Image of Klever Kits DIY 3D Moon Night Light, Paint Your Own Moon Lamp Kit Galaxy Lamp Arts and Crafts Kit, School Activities, Birthday Gifts for Kids Girls Boys
Klever Kits
Counterfeit Moon Earns a Vigil From Its Rightful Guardian

My Human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has acquired a kit to create a miniature, counterfeit moon. This apparently involves a tedious ritual of daubing smelly liq…

★★★★☆ — A shrine worth guarding through the night.
More From The Desk
Image of Creative Kids Magic Bouncy Balls - DIY STEM Toys - Science Kit for Kids - 25 Multicolor Bags & 5 Molds Makes Up to 43 Balls
Creative Kids
Flawed Hexagonal Ball Achieves Glorious, Unpredictable Chaos

So, my human has acquired a "do-it-yourself" bouncy ball laboratory. The premise seems to be that the small, loud humans get to feel like alchemists,…

★★★★☆
Image of Rolife DIY Miniature House Kit Greenhouse, Tiny House Kit for Adults to Build, Mini House Making Kit with Furniture, Halloween/Christmas Decorations/Gifts for Family and Friends (Cathy's Greenhouse)
Rolife
Pete Chooses the Threat Over the Triumph of Toppling It

My human has brought home a box of… splinters. They call it a "Rolife DIY Miniature House Kit," but I see it for what it is: a glorified, self-assemb…

★★★★☆
Image of Creativity for Kids Grow 'N Glow Terrarium Kit for Kids - Educational Science Kits, Kids Gifts for Boys and Girls, Craft and STEM Projects (Ages 6+)
Creativity for Kids
Glowing Terrarium Broadcasts Messages; Pete Edits Them With His Mouth

My human has procured what appears to be a starter kit for a personal, indoor salad bar, masquerading as an 'educational toy' for their smaller, loud…

★★★★☆
Image of klmars Kids Wooden Painting Kit-Glow in The Dark-Arts & Crafts Gifts for Boys Girls Ages 5-12-Craft Activities Kits - Creative Art Toys for 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 & 12 Year Old Kids
klmars
Glow-in-the-Dark Cult Established; Pete Disbands It with One Flick

My human seems to have acquired yet another box of distractions, this one apparently intended for the smaller, more chaotic variety of their species.…

★☆☆☆☆
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