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The Pete Gazette
A Feline Review
A Review · From: EuroGraphics

The Bridge Has a Hole in Its Heart

Pete steals the bridge's key cable piece and deposits it in his secret lair, leaving the Brooklyn Bridge forever unfinished and himself forever triumphant.

Ah, another offering from the Bipedal Can Opener. This one is a flat, heavy rectangle from a brand called "EuroGraphics." Inside, I'm told, are one thousand individual pieces of "high quality blue board" meant to form a picture of some drab, gray human bridge. So, the primary activity is for the human to spend hours, possibly days, hunched over a table creating a large, flat, and ultimately un-pounceable image. The only redeeming qualities I see are the box, which appears to be of a respectable napping dimension, and the pieces themselves. A thousand small, lightweight objects are a thousand opportunities for batting, scattering, and hiding. The "easy fit" design sounds like it will also be "easy to dislodge," which could provide some much-needed entertainment, but the overall concept seems a tedious waste of a perfectly good sunbeam spot.

The ceremony began with the cracking of the box's seal. A sound I usually associate with a fresh bag of salmon-flavored treats, but this time it released only the dry, papery scent of cardboard. My human, whom I shall call The Warden for the duration of this tale, emptied the contents onto the dining table—my auxiliary napping dais. A tide of a thousand gray, blue, and white shapes washed across the polished wood. An invasion. The Warden’s objective was clear: to impose order on this glorious chaos, to build a bridge where no cat had ever asked for one. I watched from the floor, my tail executing a slow, metronomic twitch. For hours, The Warden sorted, squinting, muttering about "sky" and "water." A perimeter was established—the flat-edged pieces forming a neat, boring rectangle. It was a fortress of tedium. But as the structure grew inward, I noticed something. The Warden kept a few specific, interesting-looking pieces to the side. One piece, in particular, caught my eye. It was mostly gray, but with a delicate white line arcing across it—a cable from the titular bridge, I presumed. It was the key, the heart of the entire operation. It was my target. My opportunity came when The Warden left to procure a mug of that foul, brown-scented water they drink. I executed a silent, flawless leap onto the chair, and then a second, more delicate hop onto the table. I moved with the practiced grace of a shadow, my paws making no sound on the wood. The half-finished puzzle was a treacherous landscape of interlocking shapes, but I navigated it with precision. I ignored the lesser pieces. I had eyes only for the prize. I gently took the key piece—the piece of the great white cable—into my mouth. The "high quality blue board" had a satisfying, dense feel against my teeth. I made my escape, a silent gray phantom disappearing under the velvet drapes. I deposited my trophy in my secret lair behind the bookshelf, alongside a forgotten milk cap ring and the single, shiniest bauble from last year's winter tree. The Warden returned, and I heard the inevitable, drawn-out sigh of defeat a few moments later. The bridge would never be complete. It would forever have a hole in its heart, a missing link that only I knew the location of. The puzzle, as an object of assembly, is a fool's errand. But as the centerpiece for a thrilling heist? A most worthy adversary. It has earned my respect, and I have earned my prize.
Image of EuroGraphics New York City Brooklyn Bridge Puzzle (1000-Piece) , Gray
Exhibit A — the specimen
The Particulars
1000-Piece Puzzle
Box size: 10" x 14" x 2. 37"
Finished Puzzle Size: 19. 25" x 26. 5"
Manufactured using the highest quality blue board
Made in the USA
Made in the USA using the highest quality blue board
Strong high-quality, easy fit puzzle pieces that won't break
Assembling puzzles improves fine motor skills and picture recognition abilities
Texts in multiple languages
Pete's Verdict
★★★☆☆
Earned my respect. I earned my prize.
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Filed under: EuroGraphics
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