Pete's Expert Summary
My Staff has procured what appears to be a brightly colored, plastic slab for their human kitten. The manufacturer, "LeapFrog," seems to specialize in these noisy contraptions designed to distract the small ones. This one claims to be a "book" that teaches words with the help of a low-grade menagerie—a turtle, a tiger, and a monkey. Frankly, the tiger is the only one with any real gravitas. It makes noises when you touch it, which has potential for startling the dog, and a light-up star button is a classic, irresistible target for a precision paw-strike. While the "learning" aspect is a complete waste of my time—I already know the words for "tuna," "sunbeam," and "now"—the interactive sounds and the sheer chewable, drool-proof durability of the thing might offer a few moments of diversion between my more critical napping appointments.
Key Features
- Interact With Friends: Meet learning friends Turtle, Tiger and Monkey who will introduce the alphabet through more than 100 age-appropriate words chosen by learning experts
- Learn Categories: This baby activity book includes word categories such as pets, animals, food, mealtime, colors, activities, opposites, outside and more
- Learn Sounds: Touch the words on the pages to hear new vocabulary, sound effects, and fun facts; hear the two theme songs by pressing the light-up star button
- Learn Languages: This highly engaging book for kids includes words, songs, and instructions heard in both English and Spanish to promote both language skills
- Included Features: This toy is intended for ages 18 months and up; requires 2 AA batteries; included for demo purposes only; new batteries recommended for regular use
A Tale from Pete the Cat
It arrived in a cardboard prison, which I, of course, was not permitted to vanquish. The Staff extracted the artifact and presented it to the tiny, loud human. My first impression, from my observation post atop the sofa cushions, was that it was a weapon. It was too thick to be a book, too bright to be camouflage, and it possessed a single, unblinking yellow eye in the shape of a star. The tiny human jabbed a finger at it, and the device spoke in a calm, feminine voice, "Cat." My ears swiveled. A listening device, then. Cataloging the room's assets. I waited until the small human was momentarily distracted by the fascinating physics of gravity and a half-eaten biscuit. This was my chance. I slunk down from the couch, tail low, a gray shadow on a mission of counter-espionage. I approached the device with extreme caution. On its surface were pictures, crude icons representing elements of my world. I extended a single, perfect claw and pressed the image of a fish. "Fish," it declared, followed by the sound of bubbles. A test. It knew what I wanted. This was more advanced than I thought. My investigation deepened. I tapped the icon of the dog. A cheerful "Dog!" was followed by an idiotic "Woof!" An auditory caricature, clearly designed to mock my canine housemate. This device understood the political landscape of the home. But the true test was the star—the glowing, yellow eye. I gave it a firm pat. A hideously cheerful song erupted, a tune so saccharine it could give a flea diabetes. I recoiled. It was not a weapon or a simple listening device. It was a tool of psychological warfare, designed to lull the tiny human into a state of cheerful compliance. After several more minutes of rigorous, scientific paw-poking, I came to a final, startling conclusion. The device was not meant to spy *on* me, but to educate the small human *about* me. "Cat." "Milk." "Ball." "Sleep." It was an instruction manual. It was teaching the creature the fundamental vocabulary required to serve me properly. A deviously brilliant piece of long-term planning by the Staff. My verdict? This "LeapFrog" book, this noisy, colorful propaganda machine, is an essential piece of household equipment. It is absolutely worthy of my attention, if only to ensure the proper curriculum is being followed.
