Pete's Expert Summary
My Staff has procured another plastic idol, this one a particularly complex effigy they call "Onyx Prime." It is a spindly, dark thing from a clan named "Transformers," apparently revered for its ability to contort itself into various shapes—a robot, a four-legged creature they call a "centaur," and a "beast." I confess, the shape-shifting holds a certain mechanical appeal, promising multiple angles from which to launch a surprise attack. More importantly, it comes with several small, detachable trinkets: a mask, a spear, and a tail that becomes a bow. These components are clearly the main event, being of a superior size for batting under the sofa. The large, articulated figure is merely the cumbersome, noisy packaging for these far more interesting, loseable treasures.
Key Features
- THE THIRTEEN ONYX PRIME ACTION FIGURE: This 7.5-inch (19 cm) The Thirteen Onyx Prime action figure toy features deco and detail inspiration from the Transformers universe
- 3-IN-1 CONVERTING TRANSFORMERS TOY: Transformers action figure converts between robot, centaur, and beast modes toy in 12 and 19 steps
- AWESOME ACCESSORIES: The Thirteen Onyx Prime Transformers figure comes with a Triptych Mask Artifact and spear accessory and his tail can come off and convert into a bow accessory
- ARTICULATED FOR PLAY AND DISPLAY: Transformers figures feature articulated heads, arms, and legs for action poses
- GIFT TRANSFORMERS COLLECTIBLES: The Thirteen Onyx Prime action figure makes a great collectible figure gift for any Transformers fan
- THE THIRTEEN ONYX PRIME: The Thirteen Onyx Prime is the beast Prime with a warrior spirit eclipsed only by his fierce loyalty to his friends
- AGE OF THE PRIMES: The Thirteen Primes are the very first bots in Transformers mythology, a pantheon of beings each with a unique ability and personality. Every battle, bot, and power in the Transformers universe can be traced back to them
A Tale from Pete the Cat
The human called it a "Prime," a word he uttered with the sort of reverence I typically reserve for the opening of a can of tuna. He sat on the floor, twisting the dark plastic creature with a series of loud, irritating clicks. I watched from my perch on the armchair, feigning disinterest, my tail giving only the slightest twitch. The figure stood upright, a mechanical soldier. Then, with more clicks, it hunched over, sprouting two extra legs to become some sort of nightmarish horse-man. Finally, it crouched into a beast form, its head low and aggressive. I was unimpressed. It was a clumsy, noisy display, and the thing didn't even have the good sense to be furry. My human, satisfied with the final "beast mode," placed it on the mantelpiece, a silent, multi-jointed guardian staring into the middle distance. He then left the room. Silence descended. The house was mine. I stretched, a luxurious, bone-popping affair, and hopped down to the floor. I did not approach the mantel. Instead, I sat directly below it, looking up. This was not a toy to be played with. This was a challenge. A silent declaration of territory. I waited until the dead of night, when the only light was the pale blue glow from the modem across the room. I leaped silently from the floor to the coffee table, then to the back of the sofa, and finally, with a soft thud, onto the mantelpiece. I stood nose-to-nose with the plastic beast. It was cold and smelled of nothing. I saw its spear and a strange little mask lying beside it. Insignificant. The statue itself was the offense. I gave its horned head a firm, deliberate nudge with my own. It wobbled precariously. Another nudge, this one with more conviction. It teetered for a moment on the edge of the precipice, a silent warrior meeting its fate. Then it fell, not with a dramatic crash, but with a series of clattering thuds as it bounced off the stone hearth below. One of its arms popped off. Perfect. It now existed in a fourth, unadvertised mode: "Defeated." I hopped down, gave the dismembered limb a single, dismissive pat, and sauntered away to find a more comfortable place to sleep. The mantel was mine once more. The Prime had been... de-primed. A worthy, if brief, evening's work.
