Pete's Expert Summary
It appears The Provider has procured a "Chutes and Ladders" contraption from the Hasbro toy monolith. From my vantage point on the armchair, I see a foldable, flat square covered in garish colors and confusing numbered boxes. The purpose seems to be a ritual for the smaller, less coordinated humans, who move little plastic markers after flicking a spinning arrow. The so-called "game" of methodically moving up and down a grid seems dreadfully dull and an insult to any creature who can leap from the floor to the top of the refrigerator in a single bound. However, the small, brightly colored pawns look perfectly sized for batting under the sofa, and the spinner has a certain flickable appeal. The box, of course, is the real prize, but the game pieces might provide a minute or two of entertainment before a proper nap.
Key Features
- CLASSIC BEGINNER GAME: Do you remember playing Chutes and Ladders when you were a kid. Introduce new generations to the classic gameplay of this kids' board game for 2 to 4 players
- NO READING REQUIRED TO PLAY: For kids ages 3 and up, Chutes and Ladders can be a great game for kids who haven't learned how to read yet
- CLASSIC UP AND DOWN GAME FOR PRESCHOOLERS: Spin the spinner and move the pawn up the ladders and down the chutes. Chutes and Ladders is a classic game that children enjoy playing over and over
- BE THE FIRST TO REACH THE TOP: Players scramble to the top of the game board without slip-sliding down. Land on good deeds to climb ladders, but watch out for the chutes
- KIDS CAN PRACTICE NUMBERS: Children can practice counting and number recognition as they travel along the gameboard to get to the top
- Classic game challenges you to scramble to the top of the gameboard without slip-sliding down.
- Land on good deeds to climb ladders
- Watch out for the slide
- Classic game challenges you to scramble to the top of the gameboard without slip-sliding down.
- Land on good deeds to climb ladders
A Tale from Pete the Cat
The box was opened with far too much ceremony, revealing the offensively bright board. The Provider and two of the smaller humans gathered around the coffee table, a place I generally consider my mid-afternoon lounging dais. They began their peculiar ritual, flicking the spinner—which made a satisfying *whirrrr-click*—and inching their little plastic effigies across the board. I watched from the back of the sofa, tail twitching in mild irritation. They spoke of "good deeds" and climbing ladders, a concept I found absurd. Good deeds, in my experience, involved purring strategically to acquire salmon treats, not landing on a specific square. My boredom was curdling into disdain when the smallest human, in a fit of pique after sliding down a particularly long "chute," knocked the little yellow pawn off the table. It landed on the hardwood floor with a faint *tink*. The game paused. All human eyes followed the pawn as it rolled to a stop near the leg of a side table. But my eyes were faster. My muscles, coiled for a nap, instead bunched for a hunt. This was no longer their game. This was mine. I dropped from the sofa with a silent thud, my gray-and-white form a blur of focused intent. Before a clumsy human hand could retrieve it, my paw shot out, a flash of white fur and extended claws. I didn't snag it; that would be too simple. I tapped it, sending it skittering into the dark cavern beneath the entertainment center. A small human wailed, a sound of glorious defeat. I heard The Provider sigh, "Oh, Pete," but it was a sigh of resignation, not anger. They knew, as I did, that the pawn now belonged to the shadows, a trophy for a far superior game of my own invention. Later, after they had given up their search and packed away their silly board, I retrieved my prize. The little yellow token was a perfect size, light enough to slide, solid enough to make a satisfying sound against the wood floors. Their game of ladders was a farce. My game of midnight floor hockey was a masterpiece of kinetic art. The toy itself is a failure, but its components, when liberated from their prescribed, tedious purpose, show a glimmer of potential. It is worthy, but only when played correctly. By me. Alone.
